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Click hereI walked into Jess's room to find the same shit eating grin plastered on her face that she had donned after our economics exam this morning. I shook my head and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I then sat down, preparing myself for all of her questions. Before I was fully seated she started.
"Did you two really get caught in the shower? Do you like her? What color will her bridesmaid dresses be? How was she? What is your favorite thing about her? What do you two have in common? Do you guys think you will have a spring wedding? How many kids did you guys talk about wanting?" She asked all of these questions in rapid succession. I was planning on answering most of them, even though I was a little freaked out about the wedding and kid questions.
Taking a deep breath, I started to answer when Maura burst into the room. She looked extremely pissed for some reason. Before I could even get a word out, she blabbed out, "Yeah Derek, tell us just how long you and Kara have been fucking!"
- COMMENTS
OkieChuckover 5 years agoyou need to learn which person is doing the talking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoOkay so you git me hooked , now keep going , this is really addicting getting dstarted on a good story then it ends way too soon ........!
Anonymousabout 9 years agoUmmmm so it's been almost 2 years are u gonna finish the story or what?
Anonymousover 9 years agoPlease continue this story to it's conclusion. That is to have Derek with Kara, or by the last sentence maybe Maura is in love with her brother. Jenelle seems to clingy and a little off. Please finish this great story
Anonymousover 10 years agothis writer is like all the rest, they start a good story drag it down to the dumps keep promising big secrets then leave the readers hanging. IF you had been smart (which you have proved your not) you would have written the whole story out in rough draft including chapter breaks BEFORE posting anything. then if you had a brain fart like now the readers would not be left hanging. delete the whole series and don't post any more until the whole series is ready to be posted all at once.
homebody_19over 10 years agoFantastic story line. How does Derek extricate himself? Does just tell Kara & Jenelle about each and end up in a threeway? What is Kara's secret is that Jess or Maura or both are also in love with him and are jealous because he hasn't picked up on the signals yet? WOW just can't wait for chapter 5!!!!!
Amungaover 10 years agoLoved the story so far! Whats the status on Ch. 5? Looking forward to it
SyrustheVirusalmost 11 years agoAuthorI am almost finished with chapter 5. I just recently started a new job and moved. I will get it posted as soon as I can.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoAre you going to continue this series would like to know where things are going from there
Maximguyalmost 11 years agoEach chapter has gotten better. Your editor has really helped a lot. This is much more readable. I'd agree with what others have said: Derek is both easy to dislike, and he's over his head. I do think the author has done a good job of pointing out this is a young kid who doesn't know what he wants. He's still new to all this, and expecting him to act mature as a college aged person is unrealistic. Of course, we as readers know better, and that's why his two timing, selfish ways aren't endearing. But we have to trust in the author to weave a story of his maturity in a good fashion.
And yeah, please don't kill one off or make one act in se bizarre fashion for effect. Seen that too many times. Please keep up the good work and don't leave us so long between chapters!
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoI don't understand why this story is not getting higher ratings? Everyone is always complaining about how most authors make their characters' flat. Derek has evolved a little more in every chapter. Currently it seems like Derek is thinking he is on top of the world. I expect that everything is going to blow up in his face pretty soon. When that happens Derek will continue to grow. Also, just out of curiosity, does anyone else get the vibe that Jenelle is crazy?
SyrustheVirusalmost 11 years agoAuthorThank you for reading and for you feedback. I have been bouncing some ideas off my editor, and I will tell you that Chapter 5 will deal with all the issues that you have raised. I will not reveal what happens, but I will say that Derek starts to think about what he is doing.
I will also say that I have Chapter 6 and 7 already planned out. The Big Secret, as you call it, will be revealed in chapter 7. Again, thank you for your support and I hope you continue reading!
