Different Perspectives Ch. 02

"I've seen them in magazines and stuff".

I looked away, I was sure you must be laughing.

****

I clearly couldn't leave it there. I hadn't crossed the t's and dotted the i's; there was unfinished business, we hadn't squared the circle.

I took a deep drag on my ciggie and sat back into the corner of the swinging settee, suspended sofa, hammock or whatever the fuck this thousand quidsworth of bollocks 'patio furniture' was called.

I felt a little better. Certainly, I felt better disposed towards you. In my mind, I had forgiven you for intruding into my bedroom. I could understand it, I could empathise with you. For Christ's sake, you were a teenage boy with your hormones exploding and all I had done since you had arrived was flash my tits at you. And to leave my bedroom and bathroom doors open knowing there was an interrupted view from the hallway to the glass door of the shower, stupid bloody design, was ridiculous.

Alright, I can blame the fact of forgetting you were there and not expecting you home. Yes of course I could and did use those excuses, but a little, tiny part of me wondered whether there might, just might, be another motivation, an unconscious one. Even as that thought entered my mind I had to cast it aside, it was too way out and too extreme, it was taboo. Even I, a fun aunt, a naughty aunt shouldn't think that way.

As we talked, getting nearer to the nub of the matter with you revealing that you had only seen naked women in books and, of course on the net, I felt that I had a stupid and totally inane grin on my face. It was one of embarrassment, nothing else, I tried to stop smiling, I tried to put on a more serious face.

In what I hoped was a totally matter-of-fact, yet friendly and caring voice I said.

"So your old aunty Catherine is the first naked woman you have ever seen Matt?"

Whether it was the smoke, the wine, what I had just said or your nervousness, I don't know but you started coughing and spluttering, just as if something had gone down the wrong way. You were almost gasping for breath, it sounded as though you were choking.

"Are you ok?" I asked panicking a bit.

You could hardly speak but managed a garbled. "Water."

I ran into the kitchen got some and said.

"Don't drink this yet, let me do this first."

Kneeling alongside you, I pressed your head forward trying to get it near to beneath your knees. I couldn't get it that far but it rested against my leg about midway between my knee and waist. I smacked you on the back as you coughed and spluttered more. That slowly subsided.

"Feel better?" I asked, realising that now I was still holding the back of your head and your neck. As you straightened, I realised also that my breasts were squashed tightly against your arm. You looked at me. Our eyes met. We held the gaze for a moment, a moment too long really. I dropped my eyes, yes aunty blinked first and I moved away. Fuck, I thought I'm tingling a bit.

I poured myself another glass of wine, but gave you water and didn't offer you a cigarette as I lit yet another. I was even overdosing on those for usually a pack would last me over a week.

Slowly I moved away from you. As I relieved the pressure of my breasts from your arm, I felt a tinge of disappointment. What the hell is going on? It's supposed to be your hormones that are going mad, not mine.

"Let me get some cheese and stuff," I said hastily getting up and this time not stumbling when I launched myself off the ridiculous swinging thing.

In the relative calmness of the kitchen away from you, I leaned back against the work surface and tried to gather my thoughts. As I prepared a small cheese board with some grapes and carrots, I ran the earlier conversations through my mind again:

"Oh yes you can see from the hallway right into the shower, can't you?"

"Yes," you mumbled not looking at me.

"And what Matt did you see?"

"Everything," you, almost grunted.

"Everything?

"Yes."

"You mean you saw me naked?"

"Yes, I did."

"And that's what you mean by everything is it?" I asked ambitiously

"Yes but also....."

"Also?" Christ I needed a cigarette, but this was not the time to stop the flow.

"I saw what you were doing."

I knew then that you had seen me masturbate.

I had forgotten that. So, you had seen me and you had as good as told me. You had seen me masturbating. Shit, conversations can have such double, even treble meanings, no wonder barristers get paid so much for sorting things out in court.

Still, for some reason, I couldn't let it go. But then, I realised the cross purposes at which we had been talking.

I was worried that you would tell my sister and her thumb up his arse husband that you had seen me having a wank. That was bad. But you, of course, were worried that I would tell them that you had been a peeping tom. A total catch twenty two when neither could be winners. So, we had to take my prissy sister and her even more prissy husband, he even has creases in his jeans, for fuck's sake, your dad out of the equation. We had to bond, become collaborators, bedfellows and scratch each other's back. That was the strategy I decided upon, I didn't have any real option did I?

But how? Confront the situation head on my entire being told me, in other words 'grab the bull by the horns!'

"So, Matt," I said as, leaning forward straight across from where you were sitting on that stupid contraption, I put the cheese board down on the table, took a deep breath, plucked up all my courage and said as lightly as I could manage. "You saw me masturbate?"

****

I had said "I saw what you were doing." I couldn't bring myself to explain what I had seen, just that I had seen. I felt your gaze on me, a sense of amusement in your voice. You knew I was squirming and being to my eyes a worldly woman I very much got the impression you were enjoying it. I'd studied the Spanish Inquisition at school and suddenly and from nowhere felt some affinity to those who'd been scrutinised during those events between the 15th and early 19th century.

My mind was still whirling with so many thoughts which were not helped by the plate you put before me and the memory of your tits pressed into my arm moments earlier.

"So, Matt, you saw me masturbate?"

'Fucking hell' I thought as those words slid from between your so kissable lips. The phrase crashed into my mind as my eyes were locked on the grapes on the plate; large, plump red grapes that along with your words took me straight back to you in the shower. Your fingers on your swollen, blood engorged, I had read that somewhere, red grape lookalike nipples.

My voice croaked "Yes", but I could say no more. I was caught between being humiliated and sexually charged. My hormones were raging and at this time I saw you in one light as my aunt and the other as a woman, a sexual woman whom I saw fucking herself.

You sat silent for some time, across from me; I could still feel your eyes upon me along with the soft breeze that wafted across the balcony. All I could do was swing on the seat and stare at the plate like a schoolchild that had been caught and could only stare at his feet.

"Matt." You repeated it again when I didn't answer. "Matt, look at me." Your voice had the ring of a command not a request.

I lifted my gaze from the floor up to you, sitting opposite in your Black blouse, a few buttons undone showing the top of what I knew was a deep and inviting cleavage, your grey tailored trousers gave you a professional yet casual air. Your unruly, but so sexy, light, not golden, blonde curls cascading down each side of your face made you look relaxed and confident. After a final long drag on your cigarette you leant forward, for maybe a little too long, looking at me from the tops of your eyes as you blew a long stream of smoke into the air. Your eyes flitted from the smouldering embers in the ashtray to look directly into mine.

"Right...." you said. I waited. "You've seen me er... masturbate," you went on adding quite calmly and matter of factly. "I was angry with you, but now I'm not. I was angry because I felt you had invaded my privacy. However, it's not your fault I left my bedroom and bathroom doors open, so I have to take some responsibility." You paused for a moment breaking eye contact as if you were searching for words. "You don't have to worry about me telling your parents." The bells and trumpets that sounded in my brain, I was free, off the hook!!!!! "But!" the sharpness you said that with brought me back very quickly. "You have now to be an adult about this, this has to be between us and no-one, and I mean no-one else! You understand?"

All I could do was nod; you seemed to be handling this lot easier than me.

"So, I won't tell and neither will you, ok?"

I reaffirmed my nod "Yes aunt... sorry, Cat".

I was tongue tied, I felt like whatever I said would be wrong, I felt wherever I looked would be wrong. But with you sat directly in front of me, slightly bent forward, your shirt gaping open, I couldn't help but steal glances down its front. I saw the inviting, smooth creamy skin, leading to what I had already seen to be large sensitive nipples, the wisps of black edging of your bra, just like the one I had seen on the floor in your bedroom. The part of my mind that I couldn't control wondered if your nipples were affected by the breeze, were they again like those grapes?

I knew you caught me looking again, but hey, if you weren't going to tell my Mum and Dad about me spying on you, I guess I was a bit safer copping a view of the top of your tits. It suddenly struck me that if you knew, and I was sure you did, that I was watching, why didn't you move? I didn't care that you didn't as that would have been more humiliating, it would have been another show of me being caught. But this way I could take little looks. What was more embarrassing was the ever increasing bulge in my jeans, my cock was becoming erect and there was nothing I could do about it. To get away would have meant standing up with the bulge cock directly in your eye line.

I wondered how I would answer you if you asked "So Matt, what did you do whilst I masturbated?" How would I answer that? I again got the feeling of wishing I could be swallowed into a big hole, though this time without the threat of humiliation at home.

You sat pensive, silent and thoughtful. I knew we weren't finished here so the tension was palpable.

****

I had never felt such a confused sexual tension. I had never experienced such a complicated, sex-charged atmosphere between a man and me. In part, it was a little like being near to losing my virginity; innocence combined with wantonness. Yet on the other hand, it was like contemplating the most extreme sex possible.

I was the senior, the mature one, the experienced woman. You were the boy, the inexperienced virgin who had only ever seen one naked woman, me, your aunty, your blood relative. I should have been able to control and direct the situation, manipulate and cajole you to my line of thinking. I should have been able to put an end to this situation, to have nipped it in the bud, before it had grown out of all proportion. But, I hadn't. I had let it escalate and develop, build and grow into what was now a fucking great trauma. Bollocks.

What should have been a simple childish prank, an almost innocent peeping tom incident that could have so easily been brushed under the carpet, had got out of control. Instead of maintaining my adult demeanour and ignoring all the ancillary aspects, I had got myself, somehow, emotionally and sexually involved. Yes, I had to admit it. I had to own up to that fact. I had to take on board that the idea of you seeing me naked, of you watching me masturbate, far from disgusting me, as presumably it should, excited me. Yes, I was turned on by the fact that my eighteen-year-old nephew had seen his aunty finger fucking herself as she lay on the floor of her bathroom. What the fuck was happening to me?

"Have another fag," I said smiling as I took two from the pack and leaned forward to hand one to you. I lit mine, forgetting about you as I thought that I would have to get another pack soon.

"May I, Cat?" You asked.

"Oh yes, sorry" I said again leaning forward offering the lighter to you.

I glanced up and caught your gaze. Your eyes were exactly where most men's would be in such a position; staring right down my blouse at my tits in the black bra.

My entire body seemed to shudder and my mind almost went into a non-compute mode when the realisation hit me that I liked that. That I enjoyed you looking. That yes, I was getting turned on by my nephew ogling me. Jesus this was worse than those times with Janis.

I poured us more wine.

"Not much for me Cat, I'm not used to it," you wisely said as I took a large swig from my glass.

You were still seated on the daft swing, that I there and then decided to e-bay tomorrow. I was perched on the corner of the four feet square, low patio table. I was just a few feet from you, but my seat was lower than yours. Inevitably, as I moved, sipping my wine, taking a drag of my cigarette or slipping one of the large, red grapes into my mouth, the blouse gaped and, just as inevitably, you looked down it.

We had gone through the 'neither must tell anyone' bit and had been silent for some time. There wasn't that much to say really, I mean I could hardly ask. "Did you enjoy the show?" or "Did you like the first naked female body you have seen" or "Do you think I have got nice tits?" Even though, fucking annoyingly for I just couldn't understand my motivation or what was happening to me, they were the questions I wanted to ask.

"So Matt, I guess I am being your fun aunt aren't I?" I smiled.

"Yes," you replied hesitantly, almost stammering.

Your voice sounded thick and strained. I looked up. You had moved a little, you had your legs wide open and were leaning back. I had caught you adjusting your position. Immediately I knew why. You had an erection. And conflictingly traumatically to me, that made me feel good, but also bad.

Our eyes met again. I looked caringly at you and smiled as you became flustered. You knew that I knew you were hard. We both knew it. It was like a massive question mark between us. It had to be confronted. I smiled, you attempted to smile back, but it didn't work. You looked as if you were about to cry. I meaningfully looked you in the eye then ran my gaze downwards and then slowly back up again to hold your gaze. You stammered something, probably "Sorry" but it was so choked and quiet I couldn't tell for sure.

I felt so sorry for you. Finding your way in the jungle of sexual discovery is so difficult. More so, I guess for a kid of your age with any older woman, let alone his mother's sister, his aunty. I leaned forward not caring or bothering that the blouse now gaped even further. I put my hand on your knee in an effort to console you as I saw the tears in your eye. I softly rubbed your knee.

"It doesn't matter Matt, it's perfectly ok," I whispered.

****