All Comments on 'Donna Gets Fooled Again'

Does he really want a slut for a wife? UGH!

changes viewpoint in mid-paragraph, or worse, mid-sentence. Ditto grammar errors. Good premise, and hot (errors not withstanding).

Anonymous #1. Fair criticism. I attempted to find an editor. After 10 or so attempts with no response, I gave up. The story was written to be read to one another, and that is the reason for the changes in perspective. It was much more fun to hear my wife read the story with her name in it describing how she enjoyed sex with Laura in first person. No doubt a little help from an editor would have helped me keep things straight.

Anonymous # 2... you're an idiot.. This is a fantasy. If you had a wife or a girlfriend you would understand.

Isn't this more of a Fetish thing? Two couples, who happen to be married, but the marriage does not appear to be part of the kink. And I admit, I don't even get the kink. They want to watch some Lesbian action, but they want one wife to think its just happened by accident? Since I obviously miss whatever is supposed to be exciting or erotic about this story I won't comment on its success or failure. But it looked like everybody was consensual and respectful and OK with what happened. So if it was good for them, then, good for them. I thought the whole thing was kind of childish and boring.

I was confused as to who was telling the story. The action was very well discribed, & very hot. But the back & forth between the women, & then that Bill guy, had me not understanding what was going on, & who was doing who(?).

It's simple... read the intro. It's not a regular story. It was written for a couple to read back and forth. Some people will like that, and some won't. It won't be for everybody, but if your significant other is up for it, try my idea. You might like it. Not every story is entertaining to everybody. For instance I don't like or understand wife revenge stories where an ex-wife gets her due, but they regularly get rated highly. Thanks for reading and thank your for your input. Next story I write won't be as confusing. Maybe I should rewrite this story from a single perspective to give readers a choice.

You went for something original. A for effort. Execution, eh. Don't stop. How do you get 'there,' if you don't attempt?

Nothing quite as as sad as a dumb whore, and this one fits the definition.