All Comments on 'Emily's Fear'

KEEP WRITING HOT NASTY SEX!!!

Or were they? This is effective wording and good foreshadowing. This story was a short and sweet, kinky piece of work. I however, found it a little too clique. I admit, I am a romantic at heart who also fantasizes about my dark prince claiming me for all eternity, but your story lacked love's magic and sparkle. You made his intent romantic and created a typcial lonely, (but beautiful), damsel in distress. The possibility was all there, but your story was too sudden. The pace was too fast, and I personally, do not believe one submits to eternity in one night, after a short conversation. I don't mean to spoil the mood, but she sounds altogether desperate, and your guy is stark raving mad. I feel as if your story was only going through the motions, and it lacked passion. She reminds me of a nervous fragile girl, (not to mention she's a virgin), and he's a guy who is too damn horny for his own good. I mean he basically persuaded her into this. She gave in hopes of some love in return. If you really wanted their love to be so strong that in one night they are united, then couldn't she have expressed any emotion other than fear, nervousness or anxiety? She didn't even see him!!!! It was pitch black and she doesn't even know how he looks like! If you do want him to pressure her into submission and a future, then at least have his voice lull her, and have him gaze into her eyes. Basically if you want romance, you need a bit more juicy info and more mushiness. This story went like this, girl meets stalker vampire in scary darkness, OMG! sex! I thought you'd never ask me!!! Future, man, this is the best I'm gonna get! Him: Yes, I have captured the lonely virgin and freed her from her mudane life! Applaud my manliness, and penis! Sorry, but like the comment below suggests, this story is about sex. Yes they do "love" each other, but its too short to really get into detail about that, so the sex is emphasized to a point where its all about him overtaking her. Geez whats his hurry!! We can read! We can handle a longer story! This time put thought into it! I still think its sweet, but thats my own loneliness speaking. I hope my inner bitch proved some points about your story to you. Its needs to be longer, and have some more Love in it!

thank you so much for this story. it takes me back to when i was younger and i needed that kind of memory now. thanks and please write more.