Entertaining at Large Ch. 12

'Well I really don't know.'

'Main thing is you'll be up there together. Drives 'em wild two birds at the same time. Just think of all those fit lads with raging hard-ons 'cos of what you're doing. Be a busy shift at the old launderette the next day, I can tell you.'

They're both giggling again. Looking at each other asking "shall we" with their eyes. I take my hand off Charlene's love bag and give her a little shove under the arse. She's up on her feet in a second. Another little pat and Sadie's up too.

'First thing. I'd get those tights off if I were you. Difficult to do it while you're dancing like. That's why most of the girls do stockings and whatnots.'

Charlene's only hoisted her skirt right in front of my nose. Thumbs tugging her nylons down. Bit of a belly on her, but that's no problem. Sadie's a bit slower. Turns her back on me like she's shy. She's wearing one of those thong things. Right shaggers knickers those. Little tufts of blonde pubes sticking out at the sides. I can feel the love stick uncoiling. Going to be a good night after all. Rub the old hands together as I get up. Got to make sure they're nice and warm. Nothing like cold hands for spoiling a moment.

'OK. I'll just get this track back to the beginning. Hold on, hold on. Got to make the announcement.'

Charlene's already shaking her bum about. She's gagging for it. I put on my announcement voice.

'"We're in for a real treat tonight, boys. Two stunning first timers" - wait for the whistles and the cheers to go down a bit - "And even better, they're going on together" - more cheering - "All the way from Paris, France Madamoiselle Sadie and her best friend Madamoiselle Charlene".'

I press the start button and the music's away. They just stand there looking at each other giggling some more and looking shy.

'Main thing at the start is eye-contact with the audience. And smile. You're glad to be here and can't wait to show 'em your goodies. That's good Sadie.'

She looks like she's about to throw up.

'And you Charlene, Nice, very nice. Now do the strut. That stage is yours, you own it. One foot in front of the other. That's right. Makes your hips jut out. Heads up, keep smiling, keep looking at me.'

They bump Into each other a few times but after a minute or so they get it and I start getting harder.

'Now start teasing them a bit. Sadie you stop at your side and just start tugging up the hem of your dress. Good, that's it. Charlene you lift your skirt up. Not that far you naughty girl, you're supposed to be teasing, not visiting the lady doctor.'

Sadie bursts out laughing and Charlene goes bright red.

'Smooth your hands down over those lovely breasts. Let the lads know what a treat they're in for. Great Sadie. That's the way Charlene.'

They're getting into it now, time to start getting them out of those clothes.

'Right Charlene. Face front. You Sadie, back to me, start undoing her buttons. That's the way. Very nice.'

Always makes me smile. Once you've got 'em going they do whatever you tell them to. Ask Charlene to hoist up the old dress a bit so we can all see Sadie's fanny while she works and she's doing it without a murmur. Don't have to tell Sadie to get stuck into playing with Charlene's nipples. But I'd bet a pound to a penny that if their husbands told them to get tea on the table there'd be all hell to pay.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in equal whatsits. Never have tasted pussy juice if I wasn't. And paying women less than men. What's that all about? But since they've all started reading those mucky books they'll do any old thing as long as you tell them firmly enough.

And people say it was better in the old days. Bollocks. Blokes never lifting a finger round the house. Well OK. My old man never did owt but sit on his arse and read the racing pages when he was home. Mum never made a murmur. Bet if he'd asked her, nice like, to suck him off though it'd've been straight down the divorce courts. Nowadays you can fuck 'em up the tush when they've had a few. No problem. But ask for a bit of help ironing a shirt and its watch out Romeo.

Same with this. Old days and you'd have had to coax them out of every stitch. Jack was a master at it. Dying art now. No real need for it. Charlene's out of her blouse and skirt without me hardly asking. And after that tricky moment with the zip old Sadie's parading around in her knickers like she was born to it. No bra, saucy minx.

'Brilliant knockers, Sadie. That's the way, shove 'em out. Let everyone have a good look.'

Right too. They're like torpedoes. Sticking straight out from her chest with pointed nipples at the end. Kind you just love to suck. Just like Charlene's doing now. Suppose that settles one question. Wonder what size they are? Sadie "B", Charlene "D", maybe even "DD", that'd be my guess. Used to be just 36-24-36. Knew where you were. Still, got to move with the times.

'OK girls. Decision time.'

They both stop stock still and stare at me. Confused like.

'This is when you take the goods on a tour round the bar if you fancy it. Up to you, but if you want bigger tips.'

Bless 'em. They're both looking at me like I want to shove them out the door. Got to laugh.

'No, no. As part of the show you silly mares. You'll have seen the others do it. Get some lucky punter to give you a hand down from the stage, then a quick strut through the crowd giving it a bit of the old chat. Plenty of eye contact and lots of smiles.'

Susan's great at it. All the lads say so. Leaves every one of them thinking she's got the hots just for them. These two'd be on their backs with a queue to shaft them if they tried it. Prints of the beer mats on their bums by the time they'd finished.

'Come on give it a try. I know it's just me but use your imagination.'

Get them running their hands across my shoulders Odd kiss on the cheeks, that's the way.

'Word of warning. If you walk round with your tits out like that Sadie they're going to get grabbed.'

Reach out and cup the nearest one. She's pushing her chest against me. Might as well take a bite if it's on offer.

'Kiss the old fellas' bald patches. Punter's got glasses, take them off them and rub them over your snatch before putting 'em back skew-whiff. Only sit on the old ones' laps though. Young 'uns'll have their fingers inside before you can say Jack Robinson. If you fancy them, rub your tits on their faces. Give ' em something to talk about at work.'

Charlene's a quick learner. She's straight over. She'll do alright down here. They like a trier. Good job I shaved. Old man'd be thinking she'd been sand papering them otherwise. Give Sadie a nice grin. She's giving it a go, but there's no danger of bruising from those. Pat the old knee, give her something to think about.

'Main thing. When you sit on them. Make sure you tell them how big they are. Whisper it. Guaranteed at least a fiver in the pot afterwards. Absolute certainty.'

She's giving it a try. Goes down like she's settling in an armchair, then up like she's sat on a drawing pin. Look on her face. Same every time.

'Fucking hell, it's huge.'

'No need to go overboard love. You're never going to get more than a tenner.'

She's staring in my face as she lowers herself down again. Like she's dipping her bum in a bath that's just a bit too hot.

'Come and feel this Charlie. What you got down there?'

Looks at me like I'm hiding the salami we use in the sandwiches. Cheeky cow. Sticking her hand under her bum giving it a bit of a squeeze to check it's real. Charlene slides hers under as well and lets out a little cry. Like that.

Time was, that'd be it. Show over, run down the curtain. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Nowadays I'm much more whadjacallit - customer orientated. That's right. They should give me an award. Course they want to try the old todger out, course they're going to get the chance and of course they'll be back for more. But what about the poor old punters then? They'd not get the chance to see this pair at it on stage. Not even the remotest hope of a hand job in the Ladies afterwards. No, got to keep it professional. For a bit anyway.

'OK girls, that's enough. One round of the pub and then it's back up there for the finale. There'll be a hundred hard-ons out there and you won't have time to test them all.'

They're back to giggling as I prise them off the love stick and push them towards the space that's supposed to be the stage. They're all flushed and breathing heavy. Looking at each other and looking at me like "what do we do next?". Track's change on the CD. This one's a bit slower. Better.

'Last bit's easy. Just take it slow. Everyone likes a bit of girl-on-girl. Push your boxes together. Bit of stroking, maybe the odd kiss, you know smoochy. Take the other one's kit off nice and slow.'

Might as well have been talking to myself. Those two are all over each other. Look like they're practising mouth-to-mouth. Now Charlene's almost swallowing Sadie's knockers whole. Give her chance to get your bra off darling. Don't worry, we've got all night.

That's another thing about girls today. They love a bit of snatch. Can't bloody wait to get in each other's pants. Getting two girls upstairs to listen to your latest Zappa album used to be a job in itself. Once there you'd be hard on to get them both going. Mostly they'd want one at a time. Best scenario you'd be fingering one whist slipping it to the other. If they did warm up at all it was all "sorry" or "keep your hands to yourself" when they touched.

Now you've got to prise them apart with a crowbar. It's like they're just using you as an excuse. Not that I don't like to watch. I mean they know what they're doing don't they? Both got the same equipment. Stands to reason. Good way to pick up tips too. I never knew when was the right time to slip a finger up a woman's arsehole until that night Mandy, Mary and me had a few too many and things got a bit frisky. Always got to be willing to learn new things, that's the key to a happy life.

Daydreaming. That happens more as you get older. Bane of my life. I mean, it's nice watching a good old fashioned sixty-nine but how the bloody hell they got there I've completely missed. Charlene's bra's hanging off the lights too. How did that happen? And I'm going to get another strangulated hernia if I don't get my cock out soon.

'Any chance one of you girls can give me a chance with this belt? It seems to be stuck.'

The old lines are the best lines. Two hours ago they'd have slapped my face if I'd said that. Now Sadie's looked up from between Charlene's legs like she's heard an ice cream van in the middle of a desert. Charlene's pushing her off like she suddenly tastes of marmite. It's like a scene from a blooming zombie flick. And I'm the fresh meat.

'OK, OK. No need to fight. There's plenty for both of you.'

Definitely going to take the diet more seriously. Start tomorrow. Even I'm finding it a job to hold up my fat so they can both get their hands in. First sight of the mighty weapon stops 'em dead. Happens every time. Can't tell if they're dreaming or having a nightmare. Always good for a laugh.

'Come on then Sadie, love. You're the expert cock sucker. Get your laughing gear round that.'

Pull him all the way out with one hand and grab Charlene by that long brown hair with the other. 'Bout time I had a good go at those tits. She likes that, doesn't she? Give it another tug. Makes her stick her chest out more. Stops her swinging about as well. She could have someone's eye out with those.

'Bit different from sucking off the football team after netball practice, eh Sadie?'

Give the girl her due though, she's giving it a good go. Eyes watering, gob open as far as she can stretch it and she's still only getting the head in. Little twitch of the hips and she's gagging already. Still manages a bit of a snort though before coming up for air. Got a grin on her like she's broken a world record.

'Cor George. That'll never go in.'

She stroking me with both hands like she's rolling out plasticine.

''Course it will lovely. You just get it nice and wet then feel in my pocket for the johnnies.'

Can see why her bloke comes so fast. That tongue's like velvet. Reminds me of my old seventies loon pants. Pull Charlene down by her hair. This one's a job for two. She's a bit more of a gobbler. Still, takes all sorts. Doing a good job of lubricating the nadgers. Lie back she might even give the old bottom a good licking. This is where looking after yourself proper pays off. Good wash in the shower every day - front and back, clean pants in the morning and that damp, scented toilet paper when you've been. Be prepared. Good old Boy Scout motto. Should have paid more attention to me knots. Lot of lasses like getting tied up these days as well. Can't see the point myself. The old boy who ran the troop never told us there were other uses for the sheep shank or the running bowline. Would've perked an interest as they say.

Daydreaming again. Two of them are laughing in a sort of unbelieving way whilst they play with the condom. They're only trying to snog with my cock in between them. Give Charlene's arse a quick tap to get her attention. Yes, you'll be getting more of that in a bit.

'Get the overcoat on and hop on Sadie darling. It's getting a bit cold.'

Starts 'em off again. Giggle for England these two. Smoothing and tugging to get the snags out as they tug the rubber down. Nice and comfy like, that's the way. Sadie takes a deep breath before trying to cock her leg over me. Ends up standing. Could've told her that. Nice wide benches these. Must make sure Mandy keeps them when she has this bit done up.

She's lovely and warm inside. Balances the old apple at the end of the stick on her hole before letting it inside. She's making little "ah, ah, ah" noises as she slides down an inch at a time. Sounds like she's having a splinter taken out. He mate's all "ooh" sounds like you do when a nipper's hurt themselves. Can't help opening her eyes wide as she watches the rod disappear. Just stick my finger over that little butthole winking at me. She'll be concentrating on other things. There you go, gasping like a grounded fish but a grip like a bulldog clip. God she's tight. Both holes. Need to get her moving or I'll lose circulation in my knob. Good shove that should do it. And we're away, works every time. Sadie's sliding away like on a bucking bronco machine set at "slow". Charlene's grinning at her.

'Come and sit on my face would you Charlene? I'm a bit parched and I think a few dribbles from your sopping pussy will just hit the spot.'

This is the life. Charlene's going at it like a thing possessed. Scraping her clit on my chin and that big round arse almost breaking my nose as she bounces. Those fat thighs round my head remind me of when I'd hide under the pillow as a little 'un. Scared of the dark. Took me years until I realised the noises I was frightened of was only my mum and dad banging.

I can feel Sadie's' hands near my ankles as she grabs herself a bit of support but I can't see a thing. Visibility nil. If I do get the odd glimpse forwards the view is blocked by Charlene's big swingers. Nice sight. Sadie's only using the top eight or nine inches though I can feel it with my finger in her bum as it slides in and out. Had a short one faint on me once when I went all the way in. Learned my lesson. Screwing an unconscious bird's no fun at all. Concentrate on trying to get my tongue in Charlene's crack as it passes back and forth on its merry way.

Funny how they all make different noises when you're fucking them. Big gobby lass'll be all little whimpers and stuff once you've got 'er speared; wouldn't-say-boo-to-a-goose bird'll scream fit to have the neighbours banging on the walls. Not that I can hear much with these ear muffs on. Just little bursts of crying from Charlene and some very naughty words coming out of little Sadie. Must be cumming. Girls back at that old semi would wash her mouth out with a bar of carbolic if they could hear her.

Feels like Charlene's popping too. Either that or she's trying to suffocate me with her twat. Pushing down against my teeth. She's only got my whole bloody nose inside her. No points for the dismount Sadie. She's sort of half lifted her leg then fallen off sideways. Good job I lifted my knee. Gives her something to grab onto to break her fall. Daylight. Mother, I can see. Athletic for a big girl. Almost had me in the gob with her knee when she leapt to see that her mate's OK. Big buttocks sticking up in the air as she bends over. I can see everything, juices shining on her leg. Lips all fat and quivering, just saying hello. I should take up ventriloquism that'd be good for a laugh. Give her a bit of a slap to get her attention.

'Ow. That was my bum.'

'Wasn't me, it was 'im.'

The old man's still quivering from being yanked sideways as I point to him. Sadie's flat out on the carpet. Hair all sweaty. Holding herself like she's trying to keep all the feelings inside. Either that or she's dying for a piss. Give Charlene another little hand-kiss.

'Come on you. Get yourself over that table. You can join in when you feel up to it, half-pint.'

Another tap to get her to keep still. I do like the sound she makes and the way it all wobbles. Few adjustments to the old rubber sock. Better get in her before she starts shaking it all about again. How they expect you to keep your aim when they're moving the target is beyond me. There you go. Got her. Now nice and slow, slowly. Bullseye. All the way in and she's sobbing already. Pushing at the table trying to get herself up. Top marks for trying, but one-two-three and she's down again. Always like a steady rhythm me. Three slow, one good shove so it's all the way in. For those that can take it that is.

She's game this one. Makes all those little grunting noises as I push and a shout when she gets the big one. Grab her hair and pull her up, get my own back for her attempts at amateur dentistry. That's the way sweetheart, you'll not be getting this at home, that I can guarantee. She's not as tight as her mate, I mean they're all tight. Stands to reason. But this is slipping in and out like she's got fuel injection. Very nice, very nice indeed. Yank her hair every now and then, slap on the arse to keep her keen. This is the life.

Never really understood those that brag about keeping it up for hours on end. I mean, what's the point? I've never had any complaints. Once I've fucked them they stay fucked. Too right. I suppose it's 'cos I started before there was porn on the internet. All those blokes on steroids for their muscles and viagra for their cocks makes everything look like a marathon. Then again, maybe it's me starting with quickies; girls worried about parents coming home from work, lasses fretting about their men coming looking for them - or just being seen up against a wall behind a pub; and all those strippers fitting you in before they go to their next gig. Maybe I should have asked them what they thought? Way I see it though, they don't want to be sore for a week and I don't want to give myself a heart attack. Stands to reason. Sadie's flat on her back in the corner and Charlene's losing it, barely get her tits off the table without my help and the language's definitely getting more Public Bar.

Hello. Hold the front page. Sadie's back in the game. Didn't see her move. Must've crawled. Still can't see her. Maybe if I cut out all that fruit Mandy makes me eat? But I'd recognise that tongue anywhere. Unforgettable. Licking off the balls, swallowing the juices coming out of Charlene. Champion. That's me done for then. I'd give it about six. Up the tempo - was that a scream? - and...four, five, six... Geronimo. Thank you and goodnight.

Always liked afterwards. Everything seems to go slower. This is good. Sadie getting back into her panties and dress. Asks me polite like to zip her up. Keeps brushing wet strands of hair out of her eyes. She's had a good work out. Charlene almost getting me going again up on tiptoes, standing on a chair, to unhook her bra from the lights. Both of them giving me a bit of a snog and a cuddle.