Very nice. I did notice one small typo at the end there, when the male character was referred to as "Darren" so you should submit that edit ASAP, but otherwise, it was a great story and a beautfiul visual.
I'm not opposed to blondes or brunettes, but I really have a thing for redheads. Other than that just ask away. Just because it's not listed doesn't mean I'm not into it.