All Comments on 'Fated Love Ch. 00'

Please, find yourself an editor who knows english well -- while I understood the general idea of what you were saying (most of the time), you kept switching tenses, had instances of incorrect (though similar-sounding) words, and the flow of your sentences made it difficult to read.

I do not fault your story at all, but the ability to communicate it clearly to your readers is an area that you appear to need help in.

Please, do not let your readership suffer because of a communication barrier -- even if it takes longer to get your story finished, the end result will be well worth it.

There were so many characters, I could not get the story very well, the rapes should have made the fox watching better and the story is mangled not at least by the changing of the tenses. You need to think this through much better. As reader I was not able to follow everything, sorry.

Somewhat hard to understand the dialogue between the characters. Couldn't tell who was saying what.

I was disappointed Alex was kidnapped a second time. I'm guessing he didn't have anyone watching Cynthia and he should've had a guard or two with him when he went to change Annie's diaper.

I really like it but...hard to read...hurt my heart you know

Fuck me! That was appallingly painful to read. Don't post any more unless you have an editor with good grasp on the English language.

Your story NEEDS an editor. Sorry for being totally confused.

Like it just need some polish

Not a bad story but that was a bit hard to read and really confusing

It was hard to follow and jumped around too much with no warning.

I think with an editor and some serious polishing this could turn out to be a

Nice read