FAWC 1: Curse of "The Bitch"

"May I help you?" she asked. Her voice conveyed the same distaste as her demeanor.

"Yes. Can you direct me to Florina Neasceu?"

She got a funny look on her face and then called someone to the front desk. A few minutes later a guy in blue scrubs came down and the receptionist pointed at me.

"I'm Daniel one of the orderlies here. You asked to see Florina?"

"Yes I did. I believe she can help me with a problem I'm having."

He looked puzzled but then gestured for me to follow him. He led me down a long hallway to a room. "She's over in that far corner," Daniel told me as he pointed.

I crossed the room that was full of drooling senior citizens. By the smell most of them were soiled. I wondered at the fact that they had just sent me in here without cleaning anyone up.

I got to the corner the guy had pointed to and found a woman that looked as if she had been mummified already. "The Bitch" stared blankly at the wall and didn't even notice that I was there. I moved closer and in front of her. If she saw me she gave no indication.

"Florina? Allow me to introduce myself. I am Chris Frost, but you might know me as DirtyCharlz." I watched for any glimmer of recognition but saw none. I leaned in closer, "Look. I don't know if you are in there, but I am not a sinner. I write stories, and quite a few people seem to like them. There is a man in California who lives for the stories I write. Your curse failed! I escaped town alive, and I'll be out of Connecticut by morning. So take your curse off. I beat you!"

There wasn't even a sign that she knew she was alive, let alone that I was speaking to her. I got up and returned to Daniel. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he said.

"Is the whole catatonic thing an act of hers or did she just get that way?"

"She's been lie that since I started work here in 1998," he said. "We roll her there every morning, she get gets antsy if we put her anywhere else."

"Then how does she send nasty e-mails to people?"

He looked puzzled again so I told him about the e-mails and how my friend had traced them to her. Suddenly a light went on in his head and he said, "Follow me."

We rode an elevator to a series of locked hallways. We got to a door and Daniel opened a small window in the door. "Come here Edna," he said through the window.

"Fuck you sinner!" came the reply from the other side of the door.

He looked at me with a half assed grin, "Meet Edna Chase; Happy Hill's scariest resident." He looked into the window as far as he could and said, "Edna, there's someone here to meet you."

From the other side I heard a loud female voice say "No way sinner! And whoever is with you is a sinner too! You need to repent sinners."

"Crazy bitch," he said under his breath. "Edna, did you make an e-mail account for Florina?"

"She's a sinner! You're a sinner. Repent! Repent God damn you! Fucking repent now for my lord is coming to smite your faggot ass!"

He closed the window and called another guy over. "Tell Dr. Mortimer that Edna's been on the computers again sending e-mail. He needs to up her meds." The other guy nodded his head and Daniel led me back out to the lobby.

He told me about Edna sneaking into offices and sending e-mail to people. "We try to keep her away from computers, but sometimes she slips by and uses one or lifts someone's smartphone. She really likes going onto erotic fiction sites and leaving anonymous nasty comments about the stories on them. We'll see to it that you don't receive any more from her."

I went out of the building and felt stupid that I had ever thought I was cursed. I walked down the street to my hotel and made my plans to get on with my life. I wasn't sure if DirtyCharlz would write any more stories. If he did, the protagonist wasn't going to fuck any married women, you know; just in case.

Epilogue

It's been almost a year since I fled my hometown. I have relocated three times just to be sure that I wasn't being tracked. After meeting "The Bitch" in Connecticut, I settled in Virginia for a short while. Then I spent a few months in Tennessee. I finally settled in Reno Nevada. I found a guy who would help me get my plumber's certifications and license as well as a great job. I work for him when I'm not in school, and he lets me have a company truck to drive since I don't have my own car just yet.

I have talked to Eric and Homer a few times. The first time was right before I moved from Virginia. I rode a bus to Pittsburg and called Eric. He filled me in on the happenings since I left, and then I rented a car and drove to Philadelphia and called Homer.

The next time I called was when I was moving from Tennessee. I flew to Miami and called Eric. The news he gave me made me realize I didn't have to run anymore. I told him I'd get ahold of him when I had settled in to my new place.

Now that I am in Reno I talk to him quite often. He and his girlfriend are going to fly out to see me at Thanksgiving. I talk to Homer quite often too. He's afraid of travel so if I want to see him I'll have to go back to Colorado.

So what happened to all of the people in Colorado? Sherriff Dale got his ass fired, divorced and arrested in the span of a week. It seems that Homer had told my story to a chat buddy of his that just happened to work for the FBI.

When the county commissioners heard of the pending investigation they fired him to limit the county's exposure. Denise was also let go for inappropriate behavior. Elise managed to throw some salt on Dale's wounds by filing for divorce. He was served as he walked out of the commissioners' conference room after being fired. She told him that she had met somebody and wanted to divorce rather than carry on an affair. I was happy that she'd found someone else. She deserves to be happy.

My insurance company investigated the burning of my house. When it was discovered to be arson, the Colorado Bureau of Investigation was called in. Within three days they had arrested nine of the twelve men who chased me all over the town that day. The other three later turned themselves in and turned state's evidence. Denise also testified against the Sherriff and his make shift posse. None of them will be out of prison for at least a decade.

It also came out that the whole thing started because Jennifer's husband didn't trust her. He'd had cameras all over his house so he got all of the ladies' planning and a lot of video from that night. He copped a plea bargain for inciting a riot. None of the husbands divorced the ladies, but Janet's hubby was heard to ask for the video.

I got a nice settlement from my insurance company for my house, and a nicer one from the county, but nobody ever found my car. Nobody seemed to know what happened to it. I began looking all over to see if I could find another like it, but so far I've had no luck.

Tonight my boss called me into his office. "Chris, I hate to do this, but I can't let you keep that company truck anymore. The insurance company had a fit and threatened to cancel my policy. I'm sorry, but here's a few bucks for a cab. We'll see about finding you some transportation tomorrow."

Somehow he didn't see all that upset. I took the money and went outside to walk to the bus stop. I figured I could stretch the money more by riding the bus. As I turned to walk up the side walk someone whistled behind me. I turned to see a turquoise 1967 Cadillac ElDorado parked at the curb. It was a spitting image of my car. I stare for a moment until I realize there's also a woman standing there in a pimp hat and carrying a pimp cane. She was also wearing a faux-fur coat.

"Whoa..er um.. What the fuck?"

"Come on Chris. Is that anyway to talk to an old friend?"

"Eric told me where you were. I got your car and had it fixed up for you, and I figured I'd deliver it and your other prize from home."

I couldn't believe it. My car was here, all in one piece. I looked at the woman in the pimp hat and asked, "So what is my other prize?"

"It's me silly," She opened the coat to show me that there was only a small pair of panties on underneath. "You are all I have thought about this past year. I have waited for countless nights to hear word of you. You did a fine job of staying hidden. I even hired a PI to find you. I just had to see you again, plus, you owe me!"

"I owe you?"

"Yes, you were supposed to meet me at the library. You never showed up so I never got to have the talk with you that I had planned."

"I do have a pretty good excuse for standing you up. You see, there were these guys, and they had these guns, and they..."

I didn't finish my excuse because at that point Elise grabbed my face and kissed me like she was starving. We were still kissing when my boss came out and said. "Damn, when you find transportation you find transportation. You can give me the ten bucks back tomorrow, or next week. I've already given you the rest of the week off. But lady, I do need him back in one piece next week."

"We'll share him," she said. "I guess you can have his days if I can have him the rest of the time."

. Maybe it's time for DirtyCharlz to start writing romance stories. I think I'll have plenty of inspiration. I might even have the time, who knows.