All Comments on 'Fight Night'

KICK HER ASS OUT

First of all, this is a non-consent story. The wife is initially drugged and raped. Secondly, how old is the wife, 20, or just turned 19? Thirdly, this is not a story, just a random scene of pedestrian non-consensual sex. What motivated these married men to behave in this despicable way? What were the wife's feelings? Where's the confrontation? The aftermath consists of the husband going to a bar, confiding in a female bartender who offers him a sympathy fuck, and deciding without even talking to his wife 'that's it, divorce' - the end. By all means try again, but only when you have a story to tell!

Maybe you have to work a bit on the reactions of the husband. Next time try to describe more action and maybe made the wife do more comments about cock size and all..

as i said nice first time, you have only to work a bit more on the atmosphere.

Both the husband and the wife were drugged at the neighbors house. So why should the husband's anger be turned on his wife and not his neighbor? I don't get it.

He gave her a chance to tell him about it (like a normal person would do if they were raped) but she didnt & then she went back for more the next day. At least thats the way I read it.

Lusty, all told the story lacks quite a few vital elements that make a story a story. The plot is lacking, the language is simplistic and error prone.

Honestly, since this is wank material and little more I'd forgive the plot, but the language. The language I would not.

Could have been more erotic.....you should have entered the possibility that as she was getting drunk she was a bit confused about possibly beginning her ovulating period that morning with all these barebacked strange cocks slipping into her.

The guy does nothing but run away, but states "there was nothing [he] could do about it." Huh? No confrontation with her nor the neighbor, just waiting for her to say something.

She is 20 yrs. Old

Mindy just turned 19

Mindy

Mindy

Mandy

Mandy

Mistakes like this show a lack of caring and effort. Re-read your work before submitting it.

Constructively, not much else to say except take pride in what you write - in your effort and in your theme. If you do, the theme will change and the writting will improve!!

Believeability is key, reality is key, flow and setting is important, proofreading is critical - "speel" check won't catch the wrong word spelled right, etc. Take your time - do it right and know your audience.

Your husband wasn't believeable and his & her closing words and actions weren't erotic or sensual just ridiculasly stupid when compared to life's realities where there is reasonable consequence for what you described. You can do better!

Not worth even criticizing!

I can honestly say your story didn't make my dick hard. But it did make me smile. Both places. You are funny! Don't pay any attention to the know nothing do nothing fuck nothing toilet bowl cleaners. Smooch.

like most said, poor attention to detail. a bit short, etc. but really, who the fuck are they anyhow eh? If you made sarahh smile, you did ok. just work on the details. for me, the wimp husband thing doesnt work. I dont mind some femdom stuff so long as the guy turns it around as well. so, he did find another woman etc.. id have done something though to the shitasses that started it by drugging the guy. Do that as a follow up eh? keep trying and forget the wrist fuckers.

Jeff

I have an 11 inch cock thats very fat. I love to do this all the time. I have fucked 7 married ladys wet pussy whom hubbys cock was way to small. So ladys look me up and story man keep writing the truth.

Dude, you gotta come up with another way to describe a large penis. In a relatively short story, you used "big fat cock" 6 times.

LOL. Innocent wife turns slut at sight of big cock.

Enjoyed it- except for the very end.

I am not a big fan of total breakup stories.

The kind of ending I like would have him staying with her and raisiing as his own the lovechild she gives birth to from those liasons.

I enjoyed it but feel it needs more. Maybe two or three more parts with a confrontation at some point. Maybe an insight as to why she can't say no. Maybe some revenge if she won't stop like putting her to work as a whore.

Jim

I am happy to see such realizm and creativity mixed into such and amazingly written story! Keep it up!!!

I am relieved to see such marvelous writing & epic storytelling. Only one problem, I'm still hungry!!!

I can't stand it. Please write a sequel to fight night. I need to know what he is going to do. If she is going to confess.

is a pair of balls. Dumb shit let's his innocent wife be the toy of three perv older guys who give her date rape drugs. The next day I would have called the police had her checked to see if any date rape drug was in her system then I would have pressed charges for rape. After they were out on bail I would have found every one of them and fucked their asses with a broom stick..That way they would be broken in when they went to prison..but of course I got a pair of balls unlike dumbshit.

The comment about the details is correct. Is she 19 or 20? Is her name Mindy or Mandy? At least one sentence is missing a verb. Now I suppose some will say, "who cares, it's hot!" And it is kind of hot but aside from the grammatical and other errors, it could have used some more build-up in the beginning, during the action, including what was going on in the minds of her ravishers (even if only overheard by her helpless hubby), plus afterwards, i.e., it was a tad brief.

As for the regular complaints about ball-less, wimpy cuckhold husbands, well he is only 20 or so and might be excused for taking time to think it over. On the other hand, how a sweet, innocent becomes a slut overnight and stays that way without remorse though sober is hard to swallow (pun intended).

This story is dumber than Glenn Beck.

1* garbage

You have so very much potential here. This is a great plot, but you did a very poor job in writing it. I hope someone else can take this plot and do something worthwhile with it.

Had to see if this was as bad as your other story I had read. I wonder no more. Your so called writing is not for anyone with more than one brain cell. Never again.

Rubbish again ,,another come here Bitch story,as if a normal wife with put up being called bitch and again huige cocks no one has normal cocks anymore ,,if you want to be believed then keep it real

Utter crap. The usual "big cocks enable her to get over being raped" story drivel.

"They put something in my drink" and he doesn't even think of getting tested?

The ingredients list on a tin of peas has a more cohesive plot!