All Comments on 'First Kiss Ch. 04'

Far away from these people.

Probably a good time to wrap it up, before the misogyny takes over.

Love it!

What a fantastic story! You are a terrific writer! Not at all where I expected this story to go.

I enjoyed the story very much, but the last chapter feels shallow compared to the first three. The opening scene in chapter 1 was a bit weak (mostly because there was no indication of his subsequently-revealed motivations), but the remainder of the first three chapters were very good in terms of developing the characters (particularly Chloe) and the progress of their relationship. Unfortunately, all of that seems to stall when she accepts him as her master. I can see how that development makes sense for her character, but it felt like it happened too soon both in terms of her emotional development and the development of their relationship -- her fear and uncertainty about being dependent on Max haven't been addressed and she still doesn't understand that he has genuine feelings for her.

The ridiculousness of the paper shredder incident is also a problem. No paper shredder of the type used in offices can tear a dress off a person and eat it up: the dress would have jammed the shredder before it could do more than chew up part of the skirt. It's also exceedingly unlikely that the dress would have covered the buttons because the slot where the papers are fed into the shredder is generally between the operator and the controls. (This issue may contribute to my perception that chapter 4 lacks emotional depth.)

Despite the issues, the characters are engaging and the plot is interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing how the relationship progresses and how Max grows into his commitment to Chloe.

so so...nowhere as good as the first three parts.

Will do exactly what this story says it will do. I had my shirt caught once in a shredder. Luckily I was in the Warehouse and we had freebee t-shirts back there I could change into. I was also lucky my job was such that such a shirt for me was a standard way a person in that particular job would dress until them damn uniforms came about in the late 90's.

Thanks for an enjoyable story. I just wished I could have seen a confrontation between Max and that dead beat husband of hers. Also there is a matter of Max's Father who might not like his son taking over Chloe's life. What of Chloe's daughter and her tuition and allowance. Looks like I am hitting at is I love to see more chapters of this story please.

John

Would like the faughtrt to come home and work into the relationship.