Firsts Ch. 03

As I was drifting off, I felt him pull out of me, and then he gently rolled me so he was on his back and I was lying on him. He wrapped his arm around me and murmured into my hair, "I hope I wasn't too rough,"

"Mmmmmm," I murmured back, still unable to perform simple speech. I felt his laugh rumble through by body.

"I'll take that as a no then," I nuzzled his neck as answer.

Just before the dark void of sleep claimed me, I heard him mutter, "Thank you, Babe."

Warmth. The soft glow of early morning sunlight behind closed eyelids. The fading smell of sweat and sex. Soft breath on my neck. All these sensations slowly filtered through my mind as the fuzziness of sleep retreated from my head.

I stretched leisurely, my muscles pleasantly stiff.

A twinge between my legs and the slight shifting of the body cocooning mine snapped me wide-awake, reminding me of the night before.

I slowly turned my head to find Gabriel still fast asleep. Good. Sliding out slowly from his arms and landing ungracefully but silently on the floor, I thanked my lucky stars that I had been the first to wake.

God I am such an idiot.It wasn't that I regretted the prior night's activities, definitely not. It was that in all my advance planning for losing my virginity, I had never thought what would happen the morning after.

Should I leave before he wakes? Should I wait? Should I shower?

I began to pick my clothes up from around the room, deciding that what ever happened, I wanted to be clothed. Pulling them quickly on, I nearly fell over as I tried putting both legs down the same leg of my jeans. Landing in a very ungraceful heap on the floor for the second time that morning, I realised it was time to face facts.

I was never going to get enough of Gabriel. One time hadn't gotten him out of my head; it had only made things worse because now Iknewhow good sex could be with him. But I was determined not to become one of his fuck-buddy groupies. I wantedrealrelationships, and that was the one thing hedidn'twant from women.

Deciding to play the grown-up this time, I made my way to the open-plan kitchen and put the coffee on, then went through to his bathroom to brush my teeth and tie back my hair.

As I walked back into the kitchen, I found him looking around his apartment, bleary-eyed, rubbing the sleep from his face.

"Hi," I said quietly, pouring him a cup of java before pouring myself a glass of water.

"Hi," he replied, taking the mug I offered him. "I thought you might have left. Not that you have to go," he added in a rush, "It's just that you weren't there when I woke up and..." he shrugged, ducking his head and sipping his drink.

"I've gotta go soon. Work." I shrugged, leaning against the counter. "I figured I should wait 'till you woke up though, 'cause dashing out in the middle of the night is just sotacky," I added, smirking at him, knowing he'd done it on more than one occasion.

"Funny," he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as I laughed.

"Listen, are we...okay?" I asked. "Last night was great, and I don't want thing to be awkward or anything. I really appreciate what you did for me," I took a deep breath waiting for his reaction.

He flashed his lady-killer smile, "Glad I could help. If you ever have any other...problemsyou want my help with, just let me know, hmm? Nice tattoo by the way, I meant to ask what it was last night but..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I got it a while back. It's a thunderbird. I got it to, you know, remember my mom," My mom's family had been Lakota originally, and instead of telling us fairytales at bedtime, she used to tell us different myths. Gabriel knew my favourite had always been that ofWakinyan, the thunderbird.

"You leaving just now?" he asked after a moment of sad silence as we remembered her.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I gotta get home to change. See you on Sunday?" I asked as we walked to the door. Gabriel's mom had been making Sunday dinner for us all since our aunt died.

"Yeah," he said smiling. "Got any requests for her?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes at him. Mrs. Demachi let us all take turns choosing what we'd have for dinner. "What do you think? It's your pick this time though."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. "Thanks Kes," he said after a moment, pulling back and smiling genuinely at me.

Flushed, I smiled back, "No, thank you." I pulled his head down, giving him a soft, not-quite-chaste kiss before pulling back and opening the door. "Bye, Gabriel," I said, stepping out of his apartment.

"Bye, Babe," he replied softly.

I walked down the hall to the stairwell door, not looking back even though I could feel his eyes on me the whole way.

I thought things had gone well with Gabriel, I thought we had parted on good terms. I was wrong.

I had called up Ben that same morning, told him I'd sorted out things between Gabriel and I (although I hadn't told him the details) and we had decided to give 'us' another go, taking things slowly. He'd heard of a party nearby that night, it sounded like fun, and since it was our first date (sort of), I decided to dress up.

I wore my best pair of black jeans, a tight black spaghetti-strap tank with a red off-the-shoulder fishnet top, and classic red Converse All-Stars. My hair way straightened and hanging loose, and I had put on a little black eyeliner and red tinted lip-balm. My dressing up didn't go un-noticed, because Ben was speechless, and couldn't keep his eyes off me. Which was a little scary, 'cause he was driving.

We got to the party, and I was sure it was going to be a great night. The music was great, the atmosphere was great and Ben was great. We danced, laughed, chatted to friends (mostly his, but I didn't mind). As we were spinning off the dance floor laughing, we bumped into a large, immoveable object. Gabriel. Who was currently staring daggers at us.

"Uh, hi. Ben, this is Gabriel Demachi," I said, shooting Ben an apologetic smile, "Gabriel, this is Ben Shultz,"

"Nice to meet you Gabriel," Ben said. He was being friendly, although I could tell he was slightly uncomfortable. "So, I hear you've know Kes since she was a kid," He continued in Gabriel's silence, trying to make polite conversation.

"Yeah, Kes and me arerealclose," Gabriel replied, still staring at me. "So, how long have you been with this..." he glanced at Ben, "...boy?" he asked derisively.

"Gabriel!" I hissed, having no clue what was wrong with him. Ben was still trying to be polite, although I could see he was fuming.

"We've been together for a month or two, on and off," he replied for me, lifting his chin a little.

"Hmm, I guess you were 'off' when Kes came round last night, begging me to fuck her huh? She's not the kind of girl who'd cheat on a guy," Gabriel causally remarked, his voice full of obviously false friendliness. "Though if I'd known she had aboyfriend, I have told herhe's the one that shoulda popped her cherry," he continued, being deliberately crude.

Ben clenched his fists, obviously trying not to take a swing at Gabriel, then turned away, walking briskly towards his car.

"Youbastard!" I screamed at Gabriel, not caring who heard, before turning to follow Ben.

"Ben, please wait! Ben!" I shouted, running towards him in the parking lot. He whirled suddenly to face me, his face full of barely-leashed anger.

"Shut up, Kes! Just shut the fuck up! How could you give that, that,jerkyour virginity! How could you be in love with someone like him?!"

Stunned, I could only stutter for a moment before I protested, "I'm not in love with Gabriel! I..."

"Whatever, Kes," he cut me off, "I can't be around that guy and I...I don't trust you. You lied to me about him. It's over Kes," He turned and got into his car, driving away as I could only stare.

After a minor brake-down, which ruined my eyeliner, I pulled myself together and decided to go home. The only problem was that Ben had driven us here and the only person I knew at the party washim. I couldn't call my brothers, because I'd have to explain what happened, and I was only a fifteen-minute walk back home, so I decided to hoof it.

My plan worked until I walked past one of the dimly lit liquor stores and bunch of rough looking guys started hassling me. "Hey,chica! Lookin' for a good time?" One of them asked, draping his prison-tattooed arm over my shoulders.

"Fuck off," I replied, shrugging him off, my already frayed temper breaking. I felt him grab my arm roughly, and was about to swing at him when a smooth voice stopped us both in our tracks.

"Back of Hector, she's a friend," the voice warned.

"She's one'a yours? Sorry man, I didn't recognise her," 'Hector' laughed letting go of her arm.

"Yeah, it's okay, I can barely keep track of them myself!" he answered, smirking and laughing back.

Before I could protest, he grabbed me by the back of by neck, and kissed me. I was so shocked that I stood frozen as her whispered in my ear, "Just play along. You donotwant to mess with these guys," I nodded, and slipped my arms around him, playing the part.

"Walk me home, baby? I'll make it worth your while," I purred.

He smiled, slipping an arm around my waist as he said good-bye to the 'fellas'.

We continued to hold each other until we got around the corner and I swiftly untangled my self.

"Thanks Rico, I can take it from here," I said slightly uncomfortable being alone with the legendary Rico.

"It's okay Kes, I'll walk ya home. And I'll be on my best behaviour, although if you still want to 'make it worth my while,' I won't complain," he said, grinning.

I just glared at him.

As we began to walk, I asked, "Do I want to know what they would have done if you hadn't showed up?"

"Probably not," he answered, looking at me sideways. We were silent for a while.

"Why do you hang out with them?" I blurted before I could think. He just shrugged, looking at his sneakers. More silence.

"What the hell happened to your face?" he asked as we passed a brightly lit corner store.

"What? Oh. I was...crying and my eyeliner isn't waterproof," I replied, not meeting his eyes.

He stopped, cupping my chin and making me look him in the eye as he used his pullover sleeve to get the worst of the gunk off my face. "What happened, Kesare?"

He was being so nice and his question was so solemn, his eyes so honest, that I found myself pouring out the whole sordid tale. When I was finished, I felt so much better just for telling someone.

"It sounds like he's being a real prick, but we both know Demachi's a good guy. If he tries to apologise, just give him a chance. As for the rest of it, I ain't exactly the right person to be giving relationship advice," he laughed self-depreciatively.

I gave him a weak smile and said, "Why don't you stick with one girl? I mean you seem to really care about the one you, y'know, knocked up," I asked. The rumours about him knocking up a girl a couple years ago were false, but now one of the girls that always surrounded him was sporting a telltale bump.

"Melosa?! That kid ain't mine! Is that what everyone thinks?!" he said, obviously horrified at the thought. I didn't get it, she seemed nice enough to me, she was very beautiful in a fragile, china-doll sort of way, and he always seemed attentive to her when I saw them around the neighbourhood.

I just nodded in answer to his question.

"Mel, well she was, well, she used to hang out with my brother when he was home," he said, bowing his head.

"Shit," was my only reply.

Rico's older brother Felix, the pride of the family, had been with the army in Iraq, when he was killed by a road-side bomb a couple months ago, not long after being shipped out again.

"I gotta take care of her, you know? Herpapikicked her out when he found out, and my mom doesn't want to believe that Felix would sleep with a girl outside of marriage. She calls her a slut. My brother really cared about her, and that's my little niece or nephew in there." I nodded in understanding.

"Wow, you're a gentlemen after all!" I said, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked as he grinned, leaning closer and whispering, "Yeah, but don't tell anyone. You'll ruin my rep."

As I started laughing, a fist a came out of nowhere and sent my saviour sprawling on the ground.

Rico climbed to his feet, blood running from his nose. "What the hell is wrong with you Demachi?!" Rico yelled.

"Stay the hell away from her, you bastard!" Gabriel roared back. Turning to me he said softly, "Come on Kes, I'll get you h...FUCK!"

Shit! That hurt!I thought, shaking out my stinging fist.

"You bastard! How dare you! You ruin my night, fuck things up with Ben, embarrass me and make me feel like shit and now you're punching out my friends?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I scream at him, watching as blood wells up where my punch split his lip.Yay, me!I thought, ignoring the fact that I still wanted to lick it off and kiss it better.

"He'syou friend? Since when?" Gabriel asked, disbelieving.

"Sincehesaved my ass tonight from a couple of guys who were bugging me, which, by-the-way, isyourfault because Ben ditched me after whatyousaid. He's been a better friend tonight thanyou'vebeen!" I shouted, letting it all out.

I turned to a gaping Rico and said sweetly, "Thanks you for walking me home tonight. I owe you one." Then, onlypartlyto spite Gabriel, I gave him a peck on the cheek.

As our faces were close, he whispered, "Nice shot," I winked at him while Gabriel couldn't see. Rico, shaking his head and chuckling, he turned, shoving his hands into his jean pockets, and began to walk home.

I turned to Gabriel, took a deep breath and spoke before he had a chance to say anything. "Don't. I don't want to hear it. I haven't done anything wrong and you have no right to act this way. Just stay away from me," my voice was calm and steady, and had more of an effect than yelling had.

He nodded slowly and walked away.

I walked the half-a-block to my house, going through the back door and taking the back stairs to avoid bumping into my brothers. I got to my room, grabbed my pj's and towel and walked to the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, I quickly stripped off my clothes and stepped under the scalding water. I barely noticed the heat as I let the water sluice over my body, before curling up in the corner of the stall and finally letting the tears roll down my cheeks.