All Comments on 'Flash of Sunlight'

Great writing, as usual, just a bit depressing - so I'll have to abstain from voting.

The typical last few moments of a marriage ending in divorce. The wife, the mother, the adulteress as custodial parent? How is that in the best interests of the child? She is a role model? Really? I don't think so. The bizarre outcomes of divorce in the western world with mothers painted as some kind of saints and fathers as evil selfish brutes is irrational, illogical and unintelligent. New standards need to be developed based on reason. Also, divorce needs to be removed from the hands of lawyers. It needs to be a simple process based on simple standards and executed quickly and cheaply. The huge cost of legal fees in in the interests of no one but the lawyers.

It's cheaper than a divorce, and less messier too.

Hell, do it right, and they can't prove shit about you being the one responsible.

Good perspective from the non-cheater side of the equation. With a flash story gets to the main point but leaves the reader wanting more insight into the anguish the non-cheater feels about the person he trusted the most in the world.

She does not really understand.

I wanted more. More in the history. More at the ending. However, my guess is that the author simply wanted to portray the intimate feelings experienced by a man during this brief but emotional event. He described it perfectly.

It's a five for me.

Bill1104

sad and factual... what more can be said... right on point

Didn't need anything more.

Probably one of the most accurate tellings of what happens in divorce I've read on here. One problem, you switched from third to first person midway through the story.

Love these drive by stories!

The shift of tense was so subtle, I had to go back and verify after reading the other comment that you had done it. This is a thinker.....

On the one hand, 1st person helps to convey his feelings and emotional state more directly. On the other hand, 3rd person stays will the journalistical style that has motivated this entire series. I might choose 3rd, but understand completely your subconscience ease in switching to 1st. So yeah, continuity would have been better, but at least it could be said that the writing was good enough, that many like me won't even notice it on the first read.

I have to say, I was wondering how this divorce action would be made into a news story for the ending. Just a simple weather report.....Brilliant!

"And how did YOU spend this beautiful day, Mr.Carrington?"

It was a great day for freedom, perhaps. But we all know that freedom isn't free......

Thanks, so much! Can't wait for the next!

A couple of things bother me about the settlement (and, yes, before the trolls flame me, I KNOW this is fiction, and I have NO idea how close it comes to reality) bother me.

I understand his paying half the house since he will eventually get half the value, but where is the adjustment for HIS additional housing expenses? Wouldn't a fairer way be for her to pay HIM half the current equity, and take over 100% of the house?

And since she works and presumably has health insurance and has custody, why shouldn't SHE put the kid on her health insurance? He's already paying 22%! child support, a portion of which could presumably go towards the insurance.

And I realize this is the age of "no fault" divorce, but I always thought that had more to do with the "grounds" for the divorce than the settlement. In this story it is HER actions that caused the divorce, but the only person paying a penalty is then husband, who has to leave his home, lose everyday custody of his son and take on the added expense of a new home. Heck, the KID suffers more than she does! He loses his every day father, some may say she loses her husband, but despite her protestations, she didn't lose him, she threw him away!

Very happy to see it posted.

Already working on the next one and should submit it today I am thinking (that means possibly a Saturday posting?).

As for the tense shift - it was deliberate and I tried to do it subtly. To reflect the increasing emotional state of the protagonist in line with the gradually end of the proceedings and the eventual culmination and flash of the sunlight - signalling the end of it all. But sadly, his wife (ex?) misunderstood the aftermath of the flash (as she seems to have misunderstood much of the end of this marriage) and presumed it was because he was saddened at the finality of the divorce.

Yes, but not for the reasons you think, Audrey.

Thanks again for the comments and votes.

Something happened to Flash of Muzzle (the 1st of this series) and I am working on getting it fixed and resubmitted - for those who wonder what happened to it.

-V

You can write what you want, but if your goal was to entertain anyone I think you failed. No context, we dont get to know the players in this drama, many questions left unanswered.

*****

You told just enough of the story and let our minds fill in the blanks. Good read.

Great flash scene! Loved the emotional play 👍🏻

As much as I like flash stories, this one just doesn't seem like a whole story.

Sounds more like a middle chapter; end of one story or, beginning of the next.

Very cut & dry when dealing w/this close of a divorce.

Just alittle background to characters/story might help more. Too many questions when seeing such a short snippet of a bigger story about damaged/hurting people.

Feels a little incomplete.

almost like my divorce with a little less hate.

...he will be tied to the whore until he is of age. Then, for the rest of his life if he has anything to do with his son, he'll have to see the cheating cunt.

I love it when you leave the rest of the story to our imagination. 5*

Huh, weird, this I've is receiving a full half point lower average score than the snuff porn one did. Wonder why? Couldn't be as simple as the average reader in this section being a sad, pathetic misogynist with violent fantasies who can only get it up when reading graphic descriptions of a woman dying.

A Consequence story. Generaly a true BTB story is much better than a Consequence story. For a new Literotica reader I recommend in Loving Wives Vulcez "How Are You?" or Longhorn_07 "Fool Me Once" and Francis Macomber "Honey Trap" or "The Six O'Clock News Slot" to understand the different. The new readers could learn what is the different between a BTB and Consequence story AND WHY BTB STORY IS MUCH BETTER!

Yes the Consequence story is a simple tragic murder, violance or simple divorce and no positive redemption. The murder is tragedy and NOT BTB! The good BTB story gives such feelings that character is or becomes better state as the cheater spouse and her/his lover(s). I can not write into my comment what I felt when I read Vulcez's fantastic BTB story "How Are You?".

When I have a little sad I open my E-Book on the bus from or to my job I am in better mood. I read this story about 60-70 times................

at last. he should make sure when his son gets older that he knows his mother was the one that cheated. trust me, when your kid gets older he will want to know why his world got fucked up.

if I were king of the world, this would be required reading when picking up license to wed. When BTBers gnash their teeth at a RAAC story ... well in the real world, this is the probable outcome for not able to forgive. Some choose the devil and Sun the deep blue sea. And the bittersweet beat goes on ad infinitum.

I love a good flash.

Story of this kind is better than murder consequence story, although such stories can be justified for some cheating sluts wives. It is not wrong of man to kill slut woman, but such stories lead to sad consequence tales! Better to live with better, newer, younger woman after rather than killing her. If the new woman is young enough, those before 16 are proven by science to be less likely cheaters! This is a fact that censors of Laurel will not allow me to publish in my stories because I am denounced for promoting good, Christian marriages and proper consequence tales!!

If a story like your muzzled one is written with the man having happy consequences after the murder then it is a good story, and would be better than story like this without death or without happy consequences for the cheated on husband. Panty stories like the one though don't make sense, as it is well known science fact that women are cheaters, not men! That is why some men must kill them women in real life....................

He can now find a real woman to be his partner, his mate. And he can use that opportunity not only to heal his life but to also teach his child that mistakes can be corrected, even when it involves much time and pain. But he will carry some remnant of this previous relationship, and he will strive in vain if he thinks she will cease to be a part of his life, for the rest of his life. Too bad the bitch didn't think of what she was risking before she actually threw it away.

And who knows? Now he can start over. And who's to say it will never include his former wife? This is a flash story, not the end of the story.

For the read.

Can i get back the 53 seconds I wasted reading thus?

gee i wonder if thats a character flaw.....?..

almost no emotions, and nothing to identify them as people.

"You know I didn't want this."

Then why did you fucking cheat?

no rating

Served its purpose. High marks.

Wife cheats! Husband Gets Taken in Most States! A Lot of Women are Smiling. Not as Many as They Think! Men cheat! They are No Better! I Loved the Honesty!

and something i cannot do despite efforts, telling a story succinctly.

looking forward to more...

flash point... flash back... flash in the pan...

keep them coming,

RogueAlan

a family more than a messy, selfish divorce. When one spouse drags things out trying to force the victimized one to stay with them and accept their infidelity, it is not out of love it is the same thing that caused the cheating, selfishness. The thing that is worse than the dissolution of the marital vows is the time it takes to orchestrate an affair, which is time stolen from the spouse or the kids. And in this world time is the one commodity we never seem to have enough of.

On top of the two years she dragged out the divorce. If he'd killed her when he found out he probably would have been out of prison in less than 14 years.

As far as her paying 50% of the mortgage and utilities, since she’s going to get 50% of the proceeds, plus be able to live there for 12 years while he has to pay rent or mortgage on a new home for himself. Hell, she should have to pay half of THAT, or have it deducted from her share of the house sale.

Child support 22% of his net income?! Seems kind of high since it presumably represents only half of the kid’s expenses since the mother presumably spends some of HER money on raising her child!

Getting back to the house, I have NO idea how it works in the real world, but most of the stories here have the ex-husband paying the whole mortgage, paying for his OWN housing, then only gets half the proceeds from the sale of the house. That hardly seems fair (I know, I know, it AIN'T fair!). It seems to me, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, that his housing expenses and his mortgage payments should be deducted from her share of the sale of the house.

I was just reading the comments and saw I was basically repeating myself from last June!

Dope slaps for me!

...it's the only way to be.

No drama for your mama. No surprises. Just another smuck getting screwed. Not very interesting.

MEN DO NOT EXPECT JUSTICE FROM A DIVORCE COURT OR FROM FAMILY COURTS. WOMEN ALWAYS WALK IN KNOWING THAT THEY'LL WALK OUT THE GUARANTEED WINNER.

THE WORD "JUSTICE" SHOULD BE STRICKEN FROM THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING AND FROM THE TITLE OF THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO'S SITTING ON THE BENCH.

ALL THAT SHIT WAS INCORPORATED INTO THIS DEPRESSING PIECE. THE AUTHOR WANTS YOU TO IMAGINE ACTUALLY LIVING THROUGH IT.

5 STARS

.... AND FUCK THE CRIMINAL MOTHERFUCKERS WHO'VE CORRUPTED OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM AND ALL THOSE WHO INTENTIONALLY 'FAIL', REFUSE OR AVOID DOING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO CORRECT IT.

but then you have to learn and work around the law. in my case i did everything that was required but I attacked before hand. I sold everything before filing. Also just like the thing where most women quit or get a lower paying job before they file. Well it works the same for men to. You have to bring 3 months worth of paycheck stubs. By the court date I was working for 2 times less then when we were together. My child support showed it.

listen to this man

I didn't know she was your wife. But I did eat some pineapple....I know you tasted it in that kiss she gave you.

Have no personal.knowledge, but probably true to life.

just clinical data

he should have planned before dumping her ass. Sell shit off before filing and you'll save more

Hoping to suspend reality and actually have story with a ray of hope not sunshine.

jtwheels

Excellent 5***** story!

Stories with revenge and no pain of loss just aren't real. Divorce is pain, pure and simple. This captured the moment as perfectly as I've seen written. You just don't turn off love all that easily, even when you know you need to leave. Great job!

And while the great big boys who whine like little kids about this, the world goes on and many fathers are getting the better end of the deal.

And before you cry anymore, many fathers, like many mothers, dont want to be the responsible parents 24/7.

Yes true to life but not for everyone any more.

Would've been a better story if that sunlight turned into a beam of pure retribution from above and burned the cheating whore to a blackened, smouldering crisp right in front of them all.

Quite a bit of emotion in a flash story. Having sat at the same type of table and endured the same type of crap, I’d say you nailed it.

Sorry I missed something. I couldn’t get the point of this story.

I will move on to some of this authors other stories but the 3 "flash" stories have one very important thing on common, no point.