All Comments on 'Foliage of the Mind Ch. 01'

I really enjoyed the unusual way this was written. The imagery was very strong and really made the story flow. My only problem? I'm left wanting the rest of the story!

All I have to say is, B cup breasts?!?! What a sissy! ;o)

I like some of the visuals but it is too short and not involved enough. Revise and expand.

I really liked the story. You had some really great visuals going like the old voice and her loving cup... yeah, I really like those images.

I wrote a few story's long ago and I remember something that they (editors) offered to me that helped with the flow of the story: When there is a change in the story like when the narrator speaks perhaps bolding or italics? That way the reader can visually see a change in the way the story is moving...

I like mystery endings so that was nice... However, V? If you are going to write a story, you can go on and finish out her name... the reader may know who you are speaking of but there again if English is a second language to a reader they might not get what the "V" is representing. We have lots of readers with other languages as their first. :)

You are off to a wonderful start. I like your thoughts... very sensual and mystic.

I really enjoyed reading this story and can't wait for it to continue. It made me want to be "lisa". Made me wonder if guys like this actually exist.

Excellent (and interesting) use of POV, great imagery, too. *applauds* Please finish!!! :D