by clarissaj1982
"Robert, but everyone calls me Robert." Did you mean to say Robby or Bob because this dialog seems redundant.
Technically, your writing is very good and thankfully devoid of the illiteracy rampant in many other stories here. I liked the early touch of humor when he says his name is Robert and everyone just calls him Robert. I would correct the numbers. If they're under 100, you need to write them out.
Other than that, the sex seems very rushed and lacking in details - description and emotions - that would make it sexier and more erotic. This is the first time this teenager has been with an older man - a MUCH older man, yet she behaves like an experienced hooker. Wouldn't she be at least a little nervous, hesitant, unsure? Anything? I kind of doubt she'd be taking note that his "boner" is "about 6 (SIX) inches long." We just get that he did this and she did that, and nothing of how she felt about any of it.
You have talent as a writer but this could be so much better!