For Friendship or Love?

"I didn't know if you wanted me to, now that the project is over."

"Don't be ridiculous. We're friends now. Besides, I'm sure Sara would find a way to torture me if you didn't come by every so often. Why don't you go in there and pick a CD to listen to while we play and I'll get some snacks and drinks. She'll come back if one of us doesn't get in there soon."

I had an exuberant smile the whole way to the bedroom, knowing Andy wants me at least as a friend, my first. When Andy walked in, Sara and I were sitting on the floor talking about Monday.

"Vivaldi's Four Seasons, good choice Becky. Sara, mom called. You're stuck with me until seven today."

Andy sat down and passed out the snacks and we began to play. The hours passing felt like minutes. We ate chips, drank Kool-Aid, and teased each other. At one point, I was laughing so hard my side was hurting while tears streamed from my eyes like a faucet on full blast. Suddenly, Sara's mood changed and her eyes fixated on something behind Andy and me. It was Carrie. Andy and Sara both got up. Carrie had Sara programmed to go to her room. Andy was getting up to embrace Carrie. I was frozen.

"No Sara, you should stay so you what a slut and a whore act like. You don't want to act like that when you grow up." She finished by pointing at me.

"Carrie, don't use that language in front of her."

"I can say whatever I want. You texted me saying you have to delay our date an hour. I come over early to surprise you and find you in your room with the fucking robot. Candy land is not history Andrew!"

"Sara, I want you go to your room." When she left, Andy continued. "I texted you because my mom called and said she was running late. Becky is only here because after we finished the project, Sara asked her to play a game, and we did. I'll say it again. Don't use that language in front of Sara."

I interrupted. "I'm sorry Andy. Just let me get my things and I'll leave."

"Alright, I'll call you after I clear the game on Monday with mom."

"You're seeing her Monday too!"

"She's bringing Sara to watch me play, something you won't do. We're just friends."

"Carrie looked at me as I was getting up. "I hope that mark I gave you is permanent a reminder for you to know who you're fucking with!"

When I got up I realized I was here until this was over. Both of them were blocking the door.

"Wait, you hit Becky?"

"What, are you taking the robots side now? I thought I was your girlfriend."

"You are, but why did..."

"If I'm your girlfriend you never have should have let this bitch in your life. Seriously, I can't believe you. After a week of doing history, you're friends with this cunt!"

"Carrie, you need to respect this. I don't tell you who to be friends with. I don't call Tina names even though she's been down on half the football team. You also need to stop using profanity right now. Sara is in her room just ten feet away."

"I thought I meant more to you. I see I was wrong. I can't believe your giving up all this for that! I hope your dick don't short circuit when you try to fuck her. As for you, robot bitch, hell is coming."

With that, she was gone. Andy stood in shock. I grabbed Andy's arm and guided him to his bed. I sat there holding him and started to cry. I saw Sara peeking in from the doorway with concern for her brother written all over her face, unsure of what to do. I waved her to come to come in. She ran in and latched onto the first body part of her brothers' body she could, his leg.

"I love you big brother. Thank you for protecting me."

Andy mumbled. "I love you too."

It's funny about time. We played games for three hours and it felt like three minutes. Sara and I now comforted Andy for a half hour and it felt like an eternity. From the hall we heard Ms. Sullivan's voice, but none of us moved.

"Andy! I thought I told you not to have any girls in your room when I'm, oh, Andy, what happened?"

"He and Carrie broke up Ms. Sullivan, about a half hour ago. Ms. Sullivan moved the group into the living room and made dinner. As we ate, the TV was on but no one was really watching it. We all were doing our best to console Andy. Carrie was Andy's first in everything, and though she was mean to me, Andy really loved her. Ten o'clock hit and I had to go. I gave Andy a hug.

"I got an idea. Let me take you out tomorrow Andy?"

Ms. Sullivan responded. "That sounds like a great idea."

"I don't know." Andy mumbled.

"Now that your mom thinks it's great, you don't have a choice. I'll see you tomorrow."

That night I thought about what Carrie said and she was right. Why didn't Andy tell her he wasn't going to associate with me anymore or just tell me to get lost? Carrie was Andy's girlfriend for two years and he let her go because he wanted to be friends with me after only a week. Her body was perfect; blonde to my brown, perky and athletic to my shy and awkward, she even had at least a cup larger breast size. Andy chose me. I will love him forever for it.

The next day, I arrived to pick up Andy at nine o'clock in the morning. Ms. Sullivan answered the door.

"Hello Becky. Come on in. I wasn't expecting you this early."

"I have a whole day planned."

"I'll go wake him up and tell him you are here."

"Okay." I went into the living room where Sara was up watching cartoons.

"Becky!" She ran over and hugged me. "Where's your bag?"

"That's only for school. Today is about not letting your brother mope around all day."

"You'll take good care of him won't you?"

"I'm going to do my best. Did you ask your mom about Monday?"

"I forgot. I'll be right back." Like she was boomerang, Sara darted down the hall and came right back near me so fast Usain Bolt would've been jealous. "She said it was alright."

"Hey Becky, kind of early don't you, whoa, you look different. I mean you look good, not that you look bad normally. I mean, I don't know what I mean. Where are we going today?"

I take school seriously. I view it as a stepping stone for my future so I dress in business casual attire. On weekends, I dress like a regular teenager. Since I don't go to any of the popular hangouts, no one from school ever sees me like this. Today I was wearing mid thigh length khaki shorts, a navy blue tank top that extenuated what little curves I have and showed my midriff, and a pair of sandals.

"It's a surprise."

I took him to Denny's for breakfast. Neither of us did much talking. A combination of what transpired yesterday and Andy still trying to wake up. From there, we went to the bowling alley.

"Bowling? Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, why, don't you like bowling?"

"I do. I'm actually quite good."

"I'm not, so you have nothing to worry about."

It wasn't close. The difference was like a six year old going up against Chef Ramsey in a cooking contest. In three games Andy bowled an average of 240. I bowled an average of 83. Next was miniature golf.

"Miniature golf now, you must like to get beat." He laughed.

I just smiled and went to the trunk of my car and pulled out a putter.

His laughter ceased as he responded "Okay."

It wasn't like bowling. The score was close, but I pulled out a three stroke victory. The big surprise was next. We got into the car and headed downtown on the interstate. As we got close and possible destinations were being checked off his mental checklist, he began to smile. When I pulled into Comerica Park, he got downright giddy. We hit the concession stand and found our seats. By the third inning there still was no score. He sat there intently, watching every detail of the game. I was feverishly filling out the box score and recalculating statistics with every at bat.

"You go any faster; smoke's going to come from that pen."

"I'm having fun."

"Me too. So tell me what you think of this player. He's one of my favorites."

"Just a moment." I flipped through my pages. "Sorry, but I think he's over-rated. His on base percentage is too low for my liking."

"There's more to baseball than numbers."

"Like what?"

"Leadership and experience go a long way."

"Stats don't lie, Andy."

He laughed.

The game ended with the Tigers winning 4-1. We went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner. After we ordered, Andy stared at me.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

He smiled. "I've never been with a girl who could talk baseball, make me laugh, and order something other than a salad at a restaurant. It's been an awesome day. Thank you. You're a great friend."

"It was my pleasure."

He said that word again, 'friend'. I don't expect us to start dating one day after his break up. I know I'll have to be patient. He will be worth the wait. After dinner, I dropped him off at his house. He thanked me once again and I headed home. The next day, I called him to see how he was doing. We talked for three hours. Actually it was two hours and fifty five minutes. Sara jumped in for five minutes to make sure I remembered to pick her up tomorrow so we could go to the baseball game. She made me promise four times. I lay in bed with an idiot grin on my face. Dreaming about the future and hoping Andy will be in mine. Be still my beating heart.

My alarm went off. I got up quickly. Actually I did everything this morning quickly. I was full of life, eager with anticipation, in love. I wore my normal business casual clothes, but I added something new to the ensemble. I was still wearing my dorky grin. I couldn't help it. I even tried not smiling. That lasted all of one second and made the expression on my face worse. I didn't care. I just wanted to get to school and see Andy. I arrived early, really early. I didn't know his schedule, other than lunch and fourth period; I just wondered the hallways with hope. Face after face past. I saw everyone and couldn't discern a single soul. I had interest except Andy. I was awoken from my walk on cloud nine when my feet got tangled in something and I crashed to the floor.

"Robot bitch. You need to watch where you are walking."

I looked up and saw Carrie and Tina leaving the scene laughing. I forgot I had hell to pay. I began to panic. I know this isn't over.

"Here, let me help you."

No sound sounded sweeter than Andy's voice at that moment. My panic dissipated and my euphoria returned. I looked up and gazed dreamily in his eyes as he smiled and extended his hand. I took it eagerly. As I stood up, my body only a breath away from his body, he placed his other hand securely on my hip, ensuring my balance. How did I fall again?

"Let me get that for you." Andy took a step back, reached down, and grabbed my bag. "I'll carry it for you. Where's your first class?"

I looked around and disappointedly realized we were only twenty feet away. "Mr. Walton's class, right there."

"I think I can make it that far." He put his arm around my shoulder. "I got to find a new place to sit for lunch. Do you have an idea with whom I should sit with?"

"You can sit next to me!" I said too excitedly and without hesitation.

"Awesome, I'll see you at lunch." He handed my bag to me and walked away.

I watched him until the sea of people consumed him, my heart all a flutter. I ate breakfast only an hour ago and I was already ready for lunch. I could not for the life of me tell you what discussed in my physics, calculus, and Spanish classes that morning. I think I had a test in one of them. Finally it was time for the class I was waiting for all day, lunch. I'm sure I arrived to the cafeteria with enough speed to qualify for the Boston marathon. I grabbed my lunch, sat at my normal seat, and waited, expectantly. When I saw Andy in line, my excitement grew exponentially.

"Oops."

I turned to where that word came from and was greeted with a tray of food on my chest. As I looked down at the mess of spaghetti on my shirt and began to cry.

Carrie leaned in and whispered. "This is just the beginning whore."

Andy arrived at the table at that moment. "Carrie, why?"

"I didn't mean to. I tripped over this dumb bag she leaves on the floor. She should be careful where she keeps it. Since it is her fault, I'm taking this."

She grabbed my lunch tray and began to walk away. Andy started after her, a fire in his eyes I never saw before.

"Andy, no."

"But..." He stopped, now seeing I needed him more than my lunch. He sat next to me and put his arm on my shoulder. "It'll be okay." He let me cry for a minute longer before changing the subject. "Sara is really looking forward to today. It took mom about an hour to get her to bed last night."

I chuckled through my tears. "I can't wait to see you play too."

"She wants to see me play, of course, but she's really excited about hanging out with you."

The rest of lunch was pleasant. I cleaned myself up, or at least I tried to, and Andy shared his lunch with me. We deliberated the trial we were to have in our next class briefly, and then went on to a plethora of inconsequential nothings. We laughed like hyenas and received plenty of awkward stares from the tables surrounding us. The bell rang. During our fourth period trial, the laughing attack returned during one of our cross examinations. Despite the outburst, we won the case and got an A.

After school, I headed to my car. A pair of scissors was sticking into my drivers' side front tire. I didn't need to see the incident. I knew who did it. Luckily my dad is anal and a stickler for details. If he bought me something, he was damn sure it was going to last. He taught me where the transmission fluid went, how to check the oil, and, of course, how to change a tire. I had the car jacked up; lug nut off, and was putting the spare on when I heard someone approaching.

"Aw, the cunt has car trouble."

I'm glad she kept walking. I was already late to pick up Sara and if Carrie would've tried to get physical or even say just one more word, I'm afraid I would've decked her with my four way wrench. I'm not a violent person, but I was nearing my breaking point for the day. I may not have stopped and I would've hated calling an ambulance for her.

I was only fifteen minutes late. As I pulled up to her school, Sara had a depressed look on her face as she was kicking rocks in the schoolyard. I got out of the car, she finally saw me. Her face brightened. She ran up to me and gave me a hug.

"Sara, why did you look so sad a moment ago?"

"I thought you forgot about me."

"Sorry I was late. I had a flat tire. I would never forget about you."

"It reminded me of when Carrie was supposed to pick me up."

"What happened?"

"She never came and the school had to call my mom from work to come get me. I don't think she liked me very much."

"Well I like you a whole bunch. What do you say we stop at the store to get some snacks for the game?"

"Okay!"

We arrived at the game just in time for the first pitch. It felt odd being at a game and not crunching numbers, but I was over protectively watching Sara and glancing at Andy every chance I could. Sara was loud. I'm surprised she wasn't hoarse by the third inning. She was yelling all kinds of encouragement, anything and everything that came to mind.

"Go Andy! Andy's the best player! Andy's the best brother! Hit a homerun Andy!"

When she said that last one, he did hit a homerun. She screamed louder. At first the team harassed Andy about it, but then they got into it. By the seventh inning, it was 10-1. Sara suddenly stopped and stared at me.

"Becky?"

"Yes."

"Thanks for bringing me today."

"You're welcome."

"Becky?"

"Yeah."

"Will you be my brothers' new girlfriend?"

"What?"

"He doesn't have one now. You can be it."

"That is up to Andy and I'm not sure he is ready for a girlfriend just yet."

"Okay." She said deflated. "Will you still come over and play with me?"

"I promise."

She smiled, turned her head back to the game, and began cheering with a renewed vigor. After the game and the coach's congratulatory speech, Andy approached a man near his dugout and handed him an envelope and shook his hand. They spoke for a couple minutes before Andy turned and walked towards us.

"I think you can go congratulate him now, Sara."

She didn't hesitate. She sprinted as fast as she could and jumped into his arms.

"You played great!"

"You cheered great."

"You hit a homerun when I told you to."

"I did. It was fantastic idea you had. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Can we go to McDonalds with Becky again?"

"We can if she wants to."

"I'll come, sure."

I followed them to McDonalds. We got there just in time. Right when we sat down a youth soccer team filled the lobby. Conversation was casual teasing between the three of us until Sara stopped and had an intense look about her face.

"Andy, did I ever tell you, you are the bestest brother in the world?"

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Can Becky be your new girlfriend?" I coughed up a fry. "You don't have one and she's nice." My eyes went wide. "She can also help you with your math too." At this point, I swear my jaw hit the floor and my tongue rolled down the street like I was in a Warner Brothers cartoon.

"Sara, I'm not ready to be in a relationship. You're right, she is really nice. She is also my second best friend besides you. Everyone else I thought was my friend went and asked Carrie out on a date when they found out we broke up. I have learned relationships may not last. I can't give up what we have right now."

"Okay, but she doesn't have to be second. We can both be your best friend. I will share."

"You got it Sara."

I picked my jaw up off the floor and took a drink. Desperately trying to change the subject so he wouldn't see the hurt in me, I asked. "Who was that man you talked to after your game?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. Sara. Becky convinced me on which college to attend."

"She did?"

"Yeah, I did?"

"Yes you did." I'm going to attend the University of Michigan with my best friend."

Sara clapped and I smiled, hoping he won't see the hurt I still felt a moment ago.

After dinner, I went home and cried into my pillow until I fell asleep. The alarm went off. I turned it off and laid there motionless, depleted of all energy. Total contrast to how I felt yesterday morning before. I had to figure this out. I slapped myself in the head, duh. Of course he doesn't want a girlfriend after just three days. If I would've told him no, he would have no one. Of course he wants to keep what we have now. In being his best friend, I'll show him how my support will never waver. He can count on me. When he's prepared, I'll be ready. Time will tell him everything. I need to be patient.

For the next week, Andy and I grew closer, as friends. Carrie didn't do anything to me if he was there. Places I knew she would be I'd wait for Andy to take me in. Only when I was alone was Carrie her devilish self. On Friday, I was studying in the library. She never went in there so I thought I was safe. I was wrong. I was on my laptop typing up an English paper. She came from behind and emptied a 32oz bottle of water on me and my laptop. I was pissed and my laptop was ruined.

"Looks like I short circuited you and your computer." She laughed and started walking away.

I lunged at her. Mr. Peterson, the school principal, caught me and brought Carrie and I to his office where he spoke to us individually. I was first. He saw everything and understood my anger but told me I had to control it. He gave me a warning. Carrie got suspended for three days. By the time she came back, my laptop, which was under warranty, was fixed and Carrie had a new boyfriend, Eric, who was Andy's old best friend. The feud between Carrie and I was over, with the exception of the occasional under our breath comments in passing.

For the next month, everyone thought Andy and I were dating, except us. Girls I'm sure would have tried for Andy if they knew we weren't. As for me, I'm positive no one wanted to date the robot. The notion was cemented when we were going to prom together, even to his mom and my parents. We were the cutest couple, at least that's what they said during the half hour of pictures we had to endure. I wore a pink strapless evening gown and used a push up bra that I started at my ankles to get the most out of my frame. Andy was absolutely breathtaking in his tuxedo. We danced the night away. The DJ played mostly fast paced songs and the lack of coordination coursed through our veins. It looked more like we were having seizures rather than dancing. When we weren't dancing, we would talk and laugh. The evening was becoming magical. After another song we had to spasm through, we agreed we'd dance one more song before taking another break. We went to dance again when the song "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain began to play. I looked around for an exit strategy when Andy put his hand to my cheek and turned my head toward him.