For What Its Worth

But this young Donna, with her fluttering speech and love of the most God awful sprays of flowers and dancing blue eyes was affecting him. He was feeling something that he had not thought he would ever feel. It was emotion, he knew that, but which one? It had been over twenty years since he had stood in an alley and turned into an automaton. But Donna Caldwell was reaching inside him and flicking all the switches back on, whether she knew it or not.

She was innocent, he knew that, but he also knew that she was not naïve even though she preferred to think the best of someone rather than the worst. She was like a kitten, but she had lioness claws when required, as seen when she dealt with a shifty window cleaner who had tried to fob her off with a sub-standard job.

As he lay there, the realisation hit him that he was seeing her as a human being. For so long his credo had been that the world held one real person, him. Everyone else was just scenery. Even though neither had pried, he knew lots about her.

Granddad was poorly again. Her brother Mark had finally joined the army, Tiddles the cat had passed away (what an emotional day that had been), and that Robbie Williams was a hunk. A little thought furnished him with all sorts of inconsequential about the invited intruder in his calm and ordered existence.

Yes it had its bonuses. She kept good house for him, apart from the flowers and she kept him smart and well fed. She way she hummed to herself as she ironed his shirts in the kitchen or pulled a stray thread from his lapel. An involuntary shiver ran through him as he felt once again her light touch of her fingers brushing his chin as she straightened his tie that time.

He had also nearly fluffed his last job. Ending a pretty young woman who was unfortunate enough to know too much about a certain Captain of Industry and stupid enough to try and capitalise on it. She had looked enough like Donna for Grey to miss the kill and only wound her with his first shot. He had to finish her with a second, and that had both annoyed and frightened him. It was something that had never happened before. It was a mistake. And in his line of business, mistakes got you dead.

Donna was bad news and the only thing to do was to sack her. Get her out of his life so he could return to perfect, cold solitude.

Decision made, he turned over to sleep, but sleep was to elude him for the rest of the night.

++++++++++

The crosshair slowly zeroed in on the target as Grey moved in for the killing shot. His arms never wavered as the head and shoulders of a middle aged man filled his sights. Biceps bulged slightly as his finger began to squeeze the trigger.

++++++++++

It was mid morning of the next day, and Grey was still pondering what to do about Donna. As she bustled about, wearing her usual sweat top and jeans, she was aware that there was something wrong. Finally, she could stand it no more.

She stopped polishing and turned towards Grey, "Mr Grey. Is there something wrong?"

Grey found himself unable to look her in the eye. He was a man with no emotion, he prided himself on his iron will and total control. He had administered brutal beatings in the past, rubbed shoulders with some of the most dangerous men in the world and felt more at ease than he did now. He had lost track of the number of people he had killed, but he could not look this beautiful young girl in the eye and tell her she was fired.

Donna stood waiting, "Mr Grey? If I've done something, please tell me."

He rubbed his eyes wearily with one hand and then said, "Sit down please Donna."

She was a little worried now. He never addressed her as anything other than Miss Caldwell. She had been uncertain for a time as to whether he actually knew her first name at all.

She sat. And still she waited, watching her employer as he gathered his thoughts.

Grey blew out heavily and then said, "I'm sorry Donna. I have to let you go."

Thunderstruck, her eyes opened wide and her mouth fell open. She had not been expecting this! As far as she had been previously aware, Mt Grey had been very satisfied with her work. She began to sort through her memories of her time here... Had it really been ten months? But she could not find a single thing that could be the cause of her sacking. In her heart, she was aware that he put up with her penchant for loud blooms and did not care for them himself, but that was the only gripe between them.

Tears began to well up as she whispered, "What did I do Mr Grey?"

Grey finally looked up and faced her. He steeled himself with all the self control at his disposal and answered, "Donna... It's not you. Believe me, you have done nothing wrong... It's me."

"I don't understand."

Rubbing his temples, he watched as Donna wrung the duster constantly in her hands. He started to speak, stopped and then started again, "You have to understand... I... I have not had what you might call a pleasant life. My life has been hard and to survive I had to be hard as well." He paused to see if he was communicating well, but Donna's brow was creased in confusion.

"You see... I am not a nice man. I have live as I do because I have to. It's all I have and it's all there is. It's who I am. And I don't expect you to understand this but it's because you are so nice that I have to let you go."

Donna was having trouble taking this in. Sacked for no real reason, where would she go? Now that Granddad had moved in there was no room at home anymore. None of her friends had the room to put her up. Her current boyfriend always came here because it was the only place they had. She was frightened and her claws silently came out. Innocent, young, but a fighter, and she wasn't going to give this up without a fight. She had to try, what else could she do?

Her tears dried and she regarded Grey coldly, "No," she said, "I don't understand... And I'm going nowhere until I do!"

"Please Donna, don't make this any harder than it already is."

"Like I said, I don't understand. Explain to me... You make me understand!"

Grey was in a quandary now. He couldn't give her his real reasons. She was a liability to him because she was affecting his view of the world, affecting his ability to murder... did he just think that? Murder. He shrugged inwardly, why not? It was true after all even if he had never applied the word to his own job before. "Sorry Miss, but I'm a professional killer and you are fucking up my head, just by being here. So piss off out of my life please, and here's your severance pay. Bye bye and have a nice life." Yeah right! That would work.

He tried another tack, "Donna. I have done some very bad things," he held up a hand, "No, I'm not going into detail, but please just trust me. Bad things I said, and bad things I meant. But you aren't like that. You are a genuinely nice person, perhaps the first one I've ever really met. And I'll be damned if I ruin that by letting you stay here with me. Because that's what would happen you know. Everything in my world has to be ordered and methodical, otherwise things could get hairy. And you being here spoils that."

"How?"

Grey stood up with clenched fists and shouted, "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND YOU'LL GET ME KILLED!"

The force of his verbal attack made Donna rock back against the back of the sofa. She flinched involuntarily and brought her hands up to her face with a startled cry.

He was horrified, not least because Donna thought he was going to hit her. But at his own loss of control. He staggered forward and diffidently touched her forearm, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Please, believe me I wasn't going to hit you."

Dropping her arms slightly to return his gaze, Donna saw something she had never seen before in his normally cold eyes. It was moisture.

He was crying.

Almost without thought, she reached up to comfort him, and whispered, "I know, I know. You just startled me is all. Come on, no harm done."

As her arms snaked around his neck, she felt his muscles twitch under his skin. He had said he loved her. That was a surprise, in all the time she had been there he had never been any more than polite and passably conversational. Even when he saw another one of her special flower pots adorning another room in the flat.

It came as a surprise to her that she was in this situation. Her employer had sacked her in one breathe, declared his love in the next and told her she would be his death in the one after that, and here she was cuddling him. Along the length of her body she could feel his pressed against her. He felt firm and toned and she could smell his expensive aftershave. She felt his arms snake round her in return and she could hear him murmuring into her shoulder the same words over and over.

"I love you and you'll get me killed."

Gently she disengaged from him and pushed back a small distance, "What did you mean, I'll get you killed."

Grey found it easier to face her now, the floodgates of control were gone and he found himself talking openly and with emotion, for the first time in his adult life.

"I said you'll get me killed and I meant it. I have a job to do. And in order to do that job, I have to be a robot. Until now, I was a robot. And then you walked into my life. With your flowers and your humming and that noise you make when you make love."

Ignoring Donna's shocked expression he continued, "I cannot afford to have this craziness in my life. So it's best that you go and never come back. Please believe me when I say that I love you. But please believe me when I say it's best that you go. It's the best for me and it's certainly best for you."

Once more, Donna found her eyes wet. She pushed back against him and held him tight.

"Oh you poor thing. You must be so lonely. I never thought about that. Oh you poor thing."

She intended to place her cheek against his, but he moved his head slightly and their lips brushed together. Donna jerked back a fraction, slightly embarrassed and looked in his face. Then she kissed him again lightly and tenderly and once more drew back to look in his eyes. As she closed in for another kiss, she felt his hands move to her upper arms and push her away forcefully.

He face was a snarl of anger and he hissed, "I see your game! I know what you're trying to do! You must really want to keep this job. Well it won't work. Pack your bags, you're leaving."

Donna shook free from his grip and bringing her arm back she slapped Grey across the face as hard as she could.

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"

Now it was her turn to be angry. She thrust him away and started pacing, as she spoke in cold angry tones, "You bastard! You thought I was going to... to... do that to keep this job! You complete bastard! Once, just once in all the time I've been here, I've seen the real you. A frightened little boy and all I did was try to help. What did you think, huh? Well? Thought I was just another little bimbo out for all she could get by dropping on her back! Well fuck you Mr High and Mighty, Robot, Cool, Calm Grey! I wanted to help you. If I'm going make a whore of myself it'll be for a damn sight more than an en-suite bathroom and £250.00 a week."

Grey reached out and grabbed her arm again, "Donna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Honestly." He had to exert real pressure to get her attention again and stop her to-ing and fro-ing.

"DONNA PLEASE! Listen to me. I was scared okay? I didn't mean to hurt you, I was scared."

She snarled back, "What of?"

His arms dropped back to his sides and he whispered, "Of me."

"What do you mean?"

"Look. I didn't call you a whore. I meant... I don't know what I meant."

Still extremely angry, but now willing to listen again, she said, "Yes you did. If I know anything about you at all, I know that you don't do anything without a reason. You were just pushing me away, I see that. You were trying to hurt me so I'd be upset and leave. Well tough tits Mr Grey, I'm going nowhere."

It was Grey's turn to goggle as a revelation was made known.

"You see, you aren't the only one in love."

His legs sagged and Grey fell back onto the sofa, "Oh this is terrible," he moaned, "This makes things ten times worse."

Donna pressed her attack, "Why? Because someone fell for you even with your aloof manner and your antiseptic life. I didn't ask to go for you like I have, it just happened okay. I don't know when and Christ knows how, because you are not exactly lovable you know, but there it is. I would say sorry about it all, but I'm not, so we'll just have to live with it won't we."

She sat down next to him on the sofa and placed her arm over his shoulders, "Look, I don't care what you do. It can't be that bad can it? I mean it's not like you're a hit man for the mafia or a drug smuggler is it?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Grey let her continue, "But one thing I do know, Mr Grey is that I love you, and now I know that you feel the same, I really don't see the problem. You do what you do out there, whatever it is. I don't care. But let me stay here with you. I know that you never do any of your business here, so this is your haven isn't it?"

She paused, "It could be our haven Mr Grey."

Finally, he felt able to look her in the yes again. And once more he was dazzled by the light that shone in them. The rapid blink that washed moisture over the orbs of pure white surrounding the delicate blue of her iris's as they contracted and expanded in the light. Her delicate eyelashes and her arching blonde eyebrows.

He kissed her.

The kiss started slowly, building in fervour and intensity as they held each other tight. As the passions grew within each of them, they, Donna and Grey released themselves to the pent up emotions that were sending them into delight together.

The kisses they shared were a revelation for Grey. As their arms wrapped around each other, Donna's lips pressed against his and he felt her soft tongue worm its way into his mouth. It was something he had never experienced before. The soft intrusion was a delight to his senses. Tentatively, he returned the favour. Gently, he used the tip of his own tongue to lightly stroke hers as she explored his mouth. He heard and felt the vibration of a moan as Donna made her enjoyment known.

Slowly, Grey let his hand slide from her shoulder, down her upper arm to her elbow. He felt her shiver under his hand. He paused a moment before carefully letting his exploring fingers slide inwards and onto her right breast. Gently he began kneading her soft mammary through the shirt. He could feel her nipple become bullet hard and Donna's breathing began to come more sharply.

As Donna wallowed in the feel of Greys, strong touch on her breast, she moved her hands up to the back of his neck and pulled his lips even harder against her own. An involuntary spasm was starting in the muscles of her chest and stomach and her breathing became difficult, but in the most pleasurable and delightful manner she could imagine.

Grey's hand slipped down from her heaving bosom and snaked it's way inside her top. And touched her bare midriff before slowly making its way back up her ribs to her breast again. When he reached it and stroked her soft tit through her lacy bra he was amazed just how hot her flesh was. It was almost like her blood was boiling.

Donna moved down his body and as one hand rubbed his thigh, the other slid round to the groin and rubbed his hard cock through his trousers. Inhibitions were falling away rapidly for both of them and was being replaced by desperate need.

Grey felt her hand separate his top fly button and lower his zip before snaking inside his trousers to get a proper grip of his turgid cock. Her fingers deftly found their way over the hem of his underpants and firmly pulled them down so his hard member could spring free. Her cool fingers grasped him firmly and began a smooth up and down motion. The feel of her hand on his cock was better than any pussy he had ever had. She was driving him wild with lust.

They had to stop kissing and fondling for a moment so that Grey could lift Donna's top and pull it off over her head and throw it on the floor. Before Donna could reach back for his cock, he stopped her and sitting back on the sofa, pulled her so that she sat astride him and reached around to undo her bra. As the clasp came open, the straps fell from her shoulders and he got his first view of Donna's succulent breasts. They were of medium size, firm and high on her chest and topped with confections of the palest pink that were hard and crinkled with lust. He could see her torso was flushed and a light coating of sweat was appearing on her skin between her lovely mounds.

Grey took her awesome tits in his hands and moulded the flesh gently, before dropping his mouth to one nipples and sucking it lightly. A spasm of joy went through Donna as she felt his moist tongue snake around the hard nubbin. He transferred his lips to her other nipple. He looked up as he worked on her tender tit flesh with his mouth and on her firm arse cheeks with his hands. His cock had never felt as hard as it did now and he knew that he had never been this excited... this ready before. Even as he worked on her boiling hot tits he mumbled, "Look at me, I want to see your eyes."

Donna sat astride him with her hands barely holding her steady as she gripped his shoulders she dimly heard his voice break through the mist of sexual bliss she was experiencing, she opened her eyes wide and stared into his eyes as he stared into hers. A strange thought broke in her mind, "Your eyes. They're shining... They're gorgeous," for some reason that thought warmed her even more than his exploring hands and tongue were already doing.

But as Grey stared into her eyes he saw something different. Amethyst fire! That's what he could see. Eyes that were alive and burning with lust. Not a lust for money, not a lust for favours. Amethyst fire that burned with a lust for him, just him and nothing else. Eyes that burned with bright, blue, human life.

He stopped teasing her skin briefly to murmur in a voice throbbing with wonder, "Your eyes... They're alive."

Donna had no idea what he meant, but she took the opportunity to ceize the initiative from Grey, gently she pulled back and slid from his lap to kneel on the floor between his thighs. After pulling his trousers and pants completely off, she looked at his rigid cock as it stood, ramrod straight in the air. Her hands slid between his thighs to converge on his balls and she carefully massaged them while her head dropped to the base of his aching prick. Her tongue flicked out and she licked slowly along his hot length, until she reached the head. Donna inhaled deeply as her tongue wound itself around Greys prick, she delighted in the musky odour he was giving off as he succumbed to his animal lust and the wonderful sensations she was causing.

One hand slid from his balls to wrap around the his burning flesh and slowly pulled his foreskin back, allowing his large purple cock head to emerge. Then she moved her mouth to the very tip and slid almost his entire length in to her mouth. Grey almost jumped off the sofa when he felt her take him so, it was incredible. He could feel her tongue working magic as she thrust her mouth back and forth along his cock. He was unable to assimilate the joyous sensations that were building in his groin.

He could feel the beginnings of orgasm approaching and he whispered, "I'm coming, I'm coming." This spurred Donna on to work her mouth even faster, up and down his solid love-muscle. Again, he whimpered, "I'm coming." And before he knew anything else... he did. A blast of semen erupted from his cock and filled Donna's mouth with its pearly stickiness. She swallowed convulsively as if this were the most delicious taste in the world. And right now, for Donna, it was. She could feel his cock spasming and softening slightly in her mouth s o she stopped her movement and concentrated on sucking all of his come down her throat until his cock was completely clean.