All Comments on 'Forbidden Pride Ch. 01'

Looking forward to more!

Well done...great start...looking forward to more!

Please? Five stars to encourage you to continue.

JimC

and his mother's capacious cunt--the same cunt he came out of--Morgan's fine fat cock is going to get plenty of exercise. Just the way it should be in a loving family.

Very good start I like this story hope you do more with it .Would like to see where you take it .Good luck and thanks for the story.

I need moreeee

Please write a chapte 2 soon!!!! <3<3

Please continue this story. There are a lot of possibilities and I am looking forward to reading more of the story soon.

Can't wait for more!

Very nice start. I can't wait for part 2

I hope he claims both as his lovers and wives. Love to see them both pregnant.

I loved it

Great start looking forward to the next chapter.

This is a good start, I like the path its taking. Here comes the but...............

You need an editor and Beta reader, plus your spellcheck/auto-fill puts in wrong words.

You use to many descriptor words, you don't need multiple adjectives or adverbs. Sometime a tank top is just a tank top, not a tight, blue, ribbed, sexy, tank top

Your style is different, not always good. You seem to write one sentence about the character saying or doing something, then write 4 or 5 sentences explaining it. Telling the story should do both.

I'm not bashing your story, just suggesting technical assistance is needed. Keep writing, the more you write the better you'll get.

Again, I like the story-line, keep it coming..

Looking forward to reading more

ch.2 soon please can't wait.

I have read this story some time ago, but I have forgotten the development of events.

Now, I go to read the chapter 2 again.

Good Job.

5* for you.

the real him, not the one even he does not recognize. this one is too much like a Simi Valley porn formula.

Thanks for sharing.