by BadMrBoogieMan
the real him, not the one even he does not recognize. this one is too much like a Simi Valley porn formula.
I have read this story some time ago, but I have forgotten the development of events.
Now, I go to read the chapter 2 again.
Good Job.
5* for you.
This is a good start, I like the path its taking. Here comes the but...............
You need an editor and Beta reader, plus your spellcheck/auto-fill puts in wrong words.
You use to many descriptor words, you don't need multiple adjectives or adverbs. Sometime a tank top is just a tank top, not a tight, blue, ribbed, sexy, tank top
Your style is different, not always good. You seem to write one sentence about the character saying or doing something, then write 4 or 5 sentences explaining it. Telling the story should do both.
I'm not bashing your story, just suggesting technical assistance is needed. Keep writing, the more you write the better you'll get.
Again, I like the story-line, keep it coming..
I hope he claims both as his lovers and wives. Love to see them both pregnant.
Please continue this story. There are a lot of possibilities and I am looking forward to reading more of the story soon.
I need moreeee
Please write a chapte 2 soon!!!! <3<3
Very good start I like this story hope you do more with it .Would like to see where you take it .Good luck and thanks for the story.
and his mother's capacious cunt--the same cunt he came out of--Morgan's fine fat cock is going to get plenty of exercise. Just the way it should be in a loving family.
Please? Five stars to encourage you to continue.
JimC