All Comments on 'Forever'

if this is the best you can do STOP WRITING. forced sex ( and this was forced ) is never good and only belongs in the nonconsent/reluctance area NO WHERE ELSE. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

i dont think its to bad at all , definitly a good start.

My eyes are bleeding.

I thought the disclaimer at the beginning said it all.

I said it was very different than my other stuff. I said it was experimental. I said I wrote it quickly.

I even said I don't find it erotic. I find it more a study in how sexual abuse can warp a person's mind. THIS ISN'T A PIECE TO GET OFF TO.

I was hoping for some discussion about the issue in the comments. That's not what I got.

I could delete your comments. Seeing as they're not constructive criticism, and won't help me in any way, I almost did. But if two people left such comments, several more must be thinking similarly. Your comments lead to this one, and this one might clear up some concerns.

To FANTICY: Thanks for standing up for me. This story isn't going anywhere, though.

To future readers: If you think the disclaimer up top isn't clear enough warning, comment and let me know, please. I can resubmit with a stronger one, such as what I've written above. Thank you.

Are you unable to handle criticism of any sort? The inability to deal with criticism is a sure sign of immaturity.

We aren't saying the subject matter was bad. We are saying your overall style of writing, grammer, sentence structure, and storytelling abilities are HORRIBLE.

I have read stories of all genre and level of ability and this is one of the worst I have read in a VERY long time.

You don't need to put a stronger disclaimer for oyur content because there are much worse problems and objections that will be encountered.

this is in the wrong area. I come to literotica for enjoyment, not provocative discussion. I fault the mods who preview stories for not putting it in the right place.

Just not my cup of tea; sorry.

Marvin

I mean it gets into me. Sure I come here to 'get off' but the quality of writing always surprises me, as your piece certainly does. For the others I say go buy a Penthouse Letters collection paperback and wear your dick out. Grammer? You can't jerk off to a dictionary.

But dudes and dudettes, you are missing the point. I'll give you a clue - the 'mispellings' and incorrect grammar is just as intentional as the incest.

Brilliant! I do agree that this is probably not the audience for these knuckleheads but I wouldn't know where to put it either. Please write more of you're 'different' stuff:)

I noted the grammar issues and actually thought that Squall913 can get away with it, if not in the least by accident. The manner of the grammar gives the impression the young woman is illiterate, and it is her telling the story. When reading it from that perspective the grammar context is actually very good.

I liked it.

I'm glad her brother finally put a stop to the humiliation of his sister and took control of the bitch that was making them perform for her.

A different kind of incest story and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

Another round of comments! I’m getting a much stronger reaction from this story than I did from the other. This will be a long post.

I’ll start at oldest and work to most recent.

At Anon.: ‘.’ I’ll admit that taking criticism is a weak point for me. Not because I get angry, but because I feel like I have to address concerns point-for-point, like it’s some big misunderstanding because NO ONE could NOT LIKE my work. : ) But it’s the non-comments that I dismiss outright. Why? Because they bring nothing to the table for me to work with.

At Anon.: ‘dealing with criticism’. Thank you for giving actual criticism. The grammar and sentence structure are intentionally bad (I was actually experimenting with it due to inspiration from, of ALL people, Faulkner) but I can appreciate that it would bother many people. The story structure might very well not be that good here; I didn’t go over it for structure with a fine-tooth comb. Are you saying this of all my works, or just this one in particular? Because I’m pretty comfortable that the others are more typical/what (we) came here for. : )

At Marvin. I very much understand that. It seems to be borderline non-erotic, doesn’t it? But then it has sexual content, which I’m pretty sure puts it firmly in the camp of incest. I could have put it in non-consent, but looking back at how it’s written and my ultimate intent, I don’t know how I’d feel about people getting off to this without a hitch. To tell the truth, I’m kind of glad the whole process went this way. It shocked people into thinking about the issues, and I’ve gotten an interesting variety of reactions.

At Anon: ‘I feel it…’ Thank you! It’s always good to know someone read my work and liked it. Yeah, the misspellings and grammar were a little hard for me to do. I was worried, of all things, that people would GET it was intentional, and they would think my "illiterate bumpkin" narrative was insulting and discriminatory. Instead, things went the other way. Which is odd, considering I have another story that is available to read, and is much truer to my standard writing style. I’d hope that anyone reading that and then this could tell I CAN be literate when I want.

At Lecheman: Thanks! Working/reworking/working-yet-again on the grammar probably took the biggest chunk of time. I’d like it to feel natural. So maybe, since people think I plain can’t write, I succeeded.

At digdaddyrich: Thank you! I strive to be both different AND good wherever possible. I think this one was slightly more on the ‘different’ than the ‘good’.

At everyone: Thank you for taking the time out of your life/porn-trawling to leave a message. : ) I respond to pretty much all comments, because I believe in addressing readers’ concerns and being as transparent as possible. I hope that those of you who are happy with this story will be content with reading some of my others. I hope that those of you who are dissatisfied might give my older works a try.

(Wait! Am I pimping my other stories out on this story? Yeah, I guess I am.)

very very strange you need to back up and tell us how it all started

wHAT YOU WROTE SAID FAR MORE THAN EXPANDING ON IT.

The story was complete without any more than what was available.

Lila, Will and Ellie.. An american art form of reality.

If the guys jerking off cannot supply beginning and end they should go back to Dick & Jane primers.

Fine job 5*

@brosismom: Yes, very different, very strange. How to respond...well, I think the less details we know about how/when it started, the easier it'll be to find a home for the piece on Literotica. All you need to know is, it's been going on for some time, it was abusive, and not very pleasant at all. This is a study of making what you can out of what you have, and how the human mind adapts to survive. Thank you for being open-minded and not simply trashing the piece.

@hellsentguy: Thank you for your support. I'm glad you liked the piece, and I hope my other stories work for you. Yes, this is meant to be self-contained, and to leave many things unresolved/unexplained. I think you might be a bit too critical at all these guys jerking off--that is what this site is largely about, after all. :)

I'm quite serious when I ask this question. Were you high on something when you wrote this?

Nope. I think I explained the reason that the story is the way it is, in response to other people kind enough to leave comments. :) If you need further clarification, just let me know. Thanks for commenting!

IF you are smart, and posting this proves you aren't, you will delete this trash and stop writing. this type of story belongs in one of two places 1) nonconsent/reluctanc or 2) the trash.

I appreciate the foreword and was expecting sonething different. ...and I didnt read many of the comments, did'nt need to really, anyone who has a moderate IQ and temperment can mentally subclass most all of the posters into three or four groups, heh. Those who understand this are smiling or laughing, heh ;).

....the different groups are entertaining to watch post and feed off each other and sometimes its fun to stir them up! (Evil grin)

...wups, I was fixing to get on a soapbox, heh! ...anyway, I liked the story for a few reasons; the story doesn't need a background, it's obviously fashioned not to. I REALLY like the fact that the abusiveness is understood to have happened without having to be written, I find reading that kind of stuff distasteful and unpleasant even knowing there's a happy ending or the bad guy gets whats coming to them... So this really works for me. It's almost like an epilogue that I get to enjoy without having having to breathe a sigh of relief because my stomach was knotted up waiting for the shoe to drop. Thanks for writing it :)