All Comments on 'Forget Me Not Ch. 02'

I like the premise of this story, but it needs polishing. I have a hard time figuring out who is talking most of the time because you don't separate the dialogue from narrative nor do you separate one character's dialogue from another's. It can be very distracting.

Also, it seems as though you are using a voice to text translation. There are words in some of your sentences that just don't belong, as if you weren't speaking clearly into a mic and it was incorrectly translated. Regardless, your story could greatly benefit from an editor.

All that being said, I am looking forward to reading the next installment.

jus wondering when we will find out why he is gong thru this alternate history thing.

W T F is going on...

i think that having sex with your sister would be more meaningful than with anyone else.i dont like that after being with his sister he wants this other girl now again especially after she already cheated on him alternate reality or not.your sister is not just some girl and besides the deusch already told sis he loved her so dont fuck it up please.

too big a cliff hanger

Now, I'm not normally one to complain in a review... But that was a terrible place to drop this.

The first chapter was fine, the second was all over the place.