by StoryTeller07
Well that was a failure. It was a mess to start with. Why would a husband be upset that his wife stopped smoking do to hypnosis? And what miracle would have to happen that an untrained husband could whisper a phrase and control his wife when the original work took so long and was on a completely different subject? This whole mess was a complete waste of time. Unbelievable and poorly written.
sorry...took too long to get anywhere.
Worst than a busload of horny teenagers!
This story is amazing. I loved the way stuff was presented and then performed. I really appreciated that you never lost any precious time trying to create a distasteful picture of the protagonist, while almost every author here wants to describe a poor picture from lame pornstars they believe will help dealing with their lack of imagination (and consequently they demean readers’ capabilities to imagine). I also enjoyed the logic on which the story’s based; but I believe it’s a bit of a turn off when we could actually know what happened inside Helen’s head while she was under hypnosis; noneheless this was skillfully managed when she finally visits Roger. I’m pretty satisfied with your text. Thank you very much for your writing.
You really need a proofreader. The errors make it difficult to follow and enjoy the story, which is a shame since it looked like it had some potential.
- JT
please continue this story, it is good but needs more detail of her humiliation