Freaky Fuckday

Emily had a sudden realization and cried out, "Chris! I need to talk to Chris!"

Emily searched through the hotel room until she found Chris's phone plugged into a wall outlet. Emily followed the cord upward until she found the phone charging its battery on top of a desk. Fortunately Emily knew the code that unlocked Chris's phone and soon she began searching through Chris's contacts. Emily quickly grew frustrated when she was unable to locate Chris's number. Then Emily realized with embarrassment that she was already looking through his phone. Duh. He wouldn't have his own number in his contacts and even then Emily would just be calling herself.

So where was Chris, then? Following a flash of intuition, Emily brought up Chris's list of favorites and found "Emily Jennings" at the top of his list. Her number. A picture of herself with flowers in her hair when they had taken a trip to the country a few years ago. Emily swallowed nervously and initiated the call.

~Chris~

Chris had been sitting and staring at the screen of Emily's phone for the last several minutes. Anything to keep from looking in the mirror again. Chris needed to talk to someone but he couldn't leave the house in this state. He tried accessing Emily's phone but he couldn't remember the passcode to unlock the damn thing. Chris couldn't attempt to input the code unsuccessfully too many times or he knew he would be locked out of the phone and would be really shit out of luck then.

Just when Chris was about to give up, the phone started ringing. The ringtone was familiar, "My Man" sung by Billie Holliday if Chris was not mistaken. An odd choice for a ringtone, but Emily wasn't exactly the most typical of persons. Chris saw his own profile looking back him from the small photograph next to his name and number on the incoming call. So he was being called by himself? Interesting. Chris accepted the call and tentatively lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" croaked Chris. He still wasn't used to how feminine his voice sounded.

"Chris?" asked a husky, masculine voice that sounded familiar.

"...Emily?" Chris asked in return.

"Oh my God, it is you," the voice on the other side of the line answered with a gasp.

"What the hell is going on, Em?" Chris asked desperately. "Where are you right now?"

"I woke up in a hotel room with no idea where I was," Emily explained. "I quickly realized I seem to have man parts now instead of woman parts. Like... that thing down there. That's when I looked in a mirror and realized I was somehow in your body."

"I will have you know that I've somehow become the proud and very disturbed owner of a set of large perfectly-sculpted breasts and my favorite vagina in the whole world," Chris replied. Trying to keep good humor about this situation was helping to keep Chris from suffering a massive freakout. "I didn't like your pussy enough that I actually wanted to have it like this though. How the hell did this happen?"

"I don't know!" Emily shouted back. "I kept waiting to see when I would wake up from this nightmare but it never happened. I mean, did we both go insane or what? How else do we explain this?"

"I don't know," Chris said, unsure of himself. "I mean, I feel normal. Well, as normal as can be. I still feel like myself... just... in your body... instead of mine."

"I don't think we are going to make any progress if we spend all of our time wondering how or why this happened instead of how to fix it," Emily remarked.

Chris couldn't help himself from quipping, "I know I told you I wanted to be inside you more often but I have to say this is a bit too far."

"Cute," Emily said with disapproval. Another time she might have found that amusing. "So what do we do now?"

"Ummm..." Chris said indecisively. "Should we go talk to a doctor? Curl up in a ball and scream in horror? Or maybe we should see a shrink? Yeah, that would probably be better."

Chris could tell without seeing her that Emily was shaking her head vigorously as she answered, "If you want to be declared certifiably insane, go right ahead and see a doctor. Who is actually going to believe we've swapped bodies in the absence of any proof? They'll just think we are lying for attention, or sick in the head, or both."

"Yeah, like a folie a deux," Chris said.

"Excuse me?"

"Like a shared madness. From that one "X-Files" episode. Except Mulder and the other guy weren't actually going crazy."

"Of course you know that from a '90s sci-fi show, you dork," said Emily with a laugh. "And I thought I was the nerdy one."

At least I can still make her smile, Chris thought. That's a start.

"So should we just call in sick today?" Chris wondered. "Not even bother facing the world? I can learn how to use a tampon and you can learn how to pee standing up."

"Oh fuck," Emily cursed.

"What is it?" Chris asked with concern.

"Chris, I absolutely have to be at work today," Emily said. "My team is presenting to the executive board, the shareholders, and the city council this afternoon."

"So cancel," Chris said bluntly. "Tell them you can't possibly do it today."

"This is the biggest meeting of my life," Emily groaned. "How well this presentation goes will determine my future with the company. If I don't show up my team will have to present without me. There is way to reschedule this, it took months to get all of these people into the same room on the same day. If I don't go one of two things will happen. Either my team fails to gain the board's approval and my work for the last two years has been a complete waste or they pull it off without me and make me look terrible as someone steals my glory and I likely lose my position as head of the team.

"You never told me about any of this!" Chris complained. "God, no wonder we have such trouble communicating."

"Yes, I fucking did," Emily hissed. "Over and over again, I did. You never cared about what I was working on enough to actually pay attention, even though I've been busy with this project every single day for over a year. It's this same shit over and over again where you complain that we communicate poorly and then go on to prove why that is."

Chris stroked his stubbier than usual nose between his fingers and sighed. "Let's not get into it right now," Chris begged. "We have slightly bigger issues to deal with at the moment."

"You're right," Emily admitted. "What do you suggest we do then?"

"Well, how about I call your bosses and tell them you can't make it today but you've hired a consultant who knows the presentation backward and forward," Chris suggested. "It just so happens that the consultant is also your husband. That way you can still give your presentation."

Chris was quite proud of himself for coming up with that plan so quickly.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that," Emily said bluntly. "I would lose all the credibility I have at my company if I hire some random person to give the presentation in my stead."

Emily paused for a moment before adding, "You need to do this, Chris. You have to give the presentation in my place."

"What!" Chris exclaimed. "Yeah, I can't do that. I can't possibly be as good at what you do as you are. I'll fuck it up if I try."

"You will have all my notes and slides available to you and the whole morning to prepare," Emily said desperately. "Please do this for me. And yes, if you could not fuck this up for me I would really appreciate it."

Chris couldn't help feeling moved by the pleading tone in Emily's voice. He knew it was absolutely killing her that she couldn't do the presentation herself, that she had to rely on Chris to do it for her. She truly needed him. A few hours ago, Chris had been worried she would never need him again.

"I'll do it as long as you meet a few conditions of my own," Chris offered.

~Emily~

"I'll do it as long as you meet a few conditions of my own," Chris offered.

Of course there had to be a price. Emily supposed that was only fair considering she was putting quite a lot on Chris. Oh well, what was the worst he could ask for? It's not like he would be requesting any sexual favors while they were in this state.

"Name them then," Emily said.

"If I have to go to work at your job and be you for a day, then you have to do the same for me," Chris said. "Thank God it's almost the weekend and we only need to deal with this weird-ass shit in public for one day. Today was going to be a busy day for me anyways even without the... added complications. Oh, and be sure to say hi to Debbie for me while you're there! I think you'll find she is just the loveliest person to be around. By the way, I'm not fucking cheating on you in case you haven't gotten that through your stubborn head yet. Other than being me for a day, the only other thing I want is for us both to come back home after work so we can talk and sort out... everything."

Emily sighed and said sarcastically, "I am certainly looking forward to that. How am I supposed to know what to do at your store, anyway? I haven't observed you in action that often."

"You're the smartest person I've ever known," Chris replied with more confidence than Emily had. "I'm sure you can figure it out. I'll email you a checklist of what all needs to get done today."

"Fine," Emily said with resignation. "I'll text you my username and password so you can log into my computer and get into all the applications you'll need to use at work. The ID in my purse is used to scan into card readers and can give you access to anywhere you need to go in my building. Do you remember where my desk is?"

"Yes, I'm not totally daft," Chris replied brusquely. "It's been awhile since I've been at your work, but I think I can find everything. So am I going to have to carry your purse around all day then?"

"It'll look natural on you, I promise," Emily chided Chris. He could detect her amusement in the masculine voice she had stolen from him.

"Shit!" Emily cursed. "You need to start getting ready now if you want to be to work on time."

"You need to get ready yourself," Chris replied. "You have a longer drive than me, the hotel I stayed at is on the outskirts of town."

"I'll see you tonight then," Emily said. "Let me know how everything goes or if you have any questions. Please please please do not mess this up for me."

"I'll try to be at least half as good as you are," Chris replied. "That should be more than enough to knock this meeting out of the park."

"Oh, you," Emily said with unfeigned affection. "See you at home then."

"I'll be there waiting for you," Chris replied. "I love you."

Emily paused for a moment before saying with finality, "Good luck today."

"Emily, I love you," Chris said emphatically.

"I love you too," Emily replied quietly.

~Chris~

Chris checked his alarm clock and saw he had a little less than an hour to get ready and make it to Emily's work on time. That should be enough time to get ready, shouldn't it? Chris knew it would be plenty if he were still a dude. There wasn't enough time for a shower but Chris recalled that Emily had washed her body yesterday morning and shouldn't be too unclean. Just to test he lifted his arm above his head and sniffed at his armpit. He still smelled pretty fresh and Chris also noticed that Emily must have shaved underneath her arms while showering yesterday because only the barest stubble dotted her pits. Chris rubbed his legs together and confirmed that she had shaved her legs as well. Chris could get away with just applying some deodorant and a bit of perfume and not have to worry about washing up.

The intense urge to urinate that Chris had been holding at bay since he awoke resurfaced. Chris went to the master bathroom and pulled his flannels down to his knees before sitting down on the toilet seat. This shouldn't be so different from normal, Chris thought. Emily is the one who is in trouble, haha. Chris relaxed and sighed as his bladder unsealed and he felt his pee streaming out of his urethral opening. The sense of release after holding it for so long was downright ecstatic and Chris found there was something perverse about the way he enjoyed urinating using female genitals. His urine made trickling and splashing noises inside the bowl as Chris peed in the toilet.

"This is so weird," Chris muttered as he sat with his chin resting against his fist while he peed out of his vagina, a first for Chris that he could never have possibly conceived of.

Once he finished peeing Chris could still feel droplets of urine clinging stubbornly to the underside of his crotch. He tore off a square of toilet paper and used it wipe himself clean.

"Well, I guess I know now why the ladies always have to do that," Chris said with a chuckle as he stood and pulled his pajama pants back up.

After washing his hands, Chris went back to his bedroom so he could get dressed. Chris had to consciously stop himself from going to his own dresser and instead walked to the other side of the room where Emily's dresser was placed. He pulled open the top drawer which held Emily's underlings.

"Here we go," Chris whispered as he peered inside the drawer of Emily's unmentionables.

Chris perused Emily's underwear for a few minutes, fully realizing what he wore was inconsequential considering no one was likely to see his undergarments. But if he had to be stuck like this Chris was at least going to pick out something nice to wear. Shoved to the back of the drawer, Chris discovered silky black lingerie that Emily had worn for him on their fifth anniversary a couple years ago. God, she had looked so fucking sexy wearing it.

The lingerie consisted of an ultra-thin black silk film surrounded by flowery navy blue lace. The silky part was essentially transparent. Emily's asscrack and her furry little mound were completely visible though somewhat obscured through the material. The matching bra looked similar. While it not only provided lift and support so that Emily's already large breasts were emphasized even more it also revealed enough through its thin silk film that Emily's perky pink nipples were visible.

Chris remembered the sex with Emily the night she wore this lingerie being absolutely mindblowing They had fucked in so many different positions. Emily put her mouth on Chris's dick a few times and let him eat her out even though she had never really cared for oral sex. Their lovemaking concluded with Chris fucking Emily from behind while she sat on all fours and pushed her bottom back against Chris' thrusts. Emily's lacy black panties were shoved to the side so that Chris could penetrate her while she still wore her lingerie. Chris looked down with awe as the entire length of his cock slid perfectly in and out of Emily's pussy while her warm, plump bottom kept mashing against Chris's thighs in a most satisfactory manner. Chris must have made Emily come at some point because she was wet all over her thighs and buttocks. Emily's asshole had become dripping wet with her own come and appeared slightly agape due to her intense arousal. Her anus looked so open and inviting that Chris had to touch it.

With one hand keeping a firm grip upon Emily's left asscheek, Chris spread her open and reached down to place the tip of his finger upon Emily's anal opening. When she didn't move to stop him, Chris pushed his finger through the tight ring of Emily's anus. That area of Emily's body had become so wet with her natural lubricant that Chris squeezed his fingertip past Emily's sphincter and inside her rectum like it was nothing. It was so awesome. When Chris's finger reached half its length inside Emily's ass, she grunted and her body stiffened as Chris encountered some resistance. But just as soon as Emily's asshole clenched around Chris's finger, Emily's body visibly relaxed and the rest of his finger slipped all the way inside her ass.

Emily moaned loudly as Chris started moving his finger in and out of her ass. He was so deep inside her that Emily was essentially being double penetrated with the way he was fingerfucking her asshole. Chris angled his finger downward and could actually feel his cock moving in and out of Emily's pussy with his fingertip. Whenever Chris withdrew his cocko from Emily's vagina he pushed his finger deep inside Emily's ass and consequently pulled his digit nearly all the way out of her rectum once he thrust his cock back inside her. Soon, Chris achieved an equal and opposite rhythm between his finger and his cock.

Chris couldn't believe Emily was letting him do these things to her. This area of her body had been a no-go zone ever since an aborted failed attempt at anal sex their first year of dating. They were unprepared idiots back then and Chris went in dry for Emily's first time so of course she complained about too much pain. Chris was certain if they tried again using lubricant and lots of teasing and preparation first the experiment would go much more comfortably but Emily held zero interest in anal sex any more. She hardly ever let Chris touch her between her buttocks and when he did manage to tease near her forbidden zone Emily slapped his hand away after only a few seconds of playing. But tonight for some reason Emily was letting Chris do whatever he wanted to her ass.

Emily gasped and whimpered as Chris took both her holes. She pushed herself back against Chris as he thrust himself inside her and her bottom writhed and wiggled against his curling finger. Emily angled her ass upward so her body actually invited Chris to finger deeper inside her butt rather than shutting him down as per usual. Chris obliged her by burying his finger down to the knuckle inside her ass so that he could actually touch the walls of her rectum. Her hole felt amazing and Chris loved how tightly Emily's anus surrounded and clung to his finger. Chris wondered if Emily might perhaps be turned on enough that she would allow him to stick his cock inside her ass but he decided not to push his luck tonight.

Emily really started getting into it now, crying out in pleasure and telling Chris how much she loved his finger touching her deep inside her ass. How it made her feel like a dirty slut for loving it so much. Emily talking so nasty triggered something in Chris and without warning he suddenly ejaculated rivers of cum. Chris's semen gushed deep within Emily who wailed as her orgasm arrived seconds after Chris's. Chris felt Emily's anus pulsating as it clenched open and closed around his finger during she climax. It was so fucking hot.

Post-coitus, Emily and Chris collapsed onto their bed together and faced each other as they laid upon their respective pillows. Emily remained so aroused that she took Chris's finger that had been inside her ass and sucked it clean. Where did this kinky girl come from and what she done with my wife, Chris wondered.

The two of them were still hungry for each other and they worked together to take Emily's lingerie off and quietly make love one more time. Chris laid atop Emily gently as their lips locked together while they caressed each other's faces and hair lovingly. Their forms moved together as one body, one purpose, one soul. Emily had become too exhausted to climax again but Chris managed to finish a second time with Emily's legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her tongue inside his mouth. It was a beautiful moment, the happiest Chris had been since their wedding day. As they fell asleep naked in each other's arms Chris couldn't help wondering why every time couldn't be like that.

Emily hadn't worn her sexy underwear again since that anniversary night nearly two years ago. Since then Chris and Emily's lovemaking occurred seldomly and the rare times when sex did happen the act felt cursory and mundane. Despite her rather loud proclamations to the contrary during sex that one time, Emily didn't seem to like Chris touching her bottom hole and she shoved his hand away any time Chris tried to finger her there. That had been the best sex Chris ever had and he knew it would be difficult to recreate it but it didn't seem like Emily even wanted to try.