All Comments on 'Fresh Pt. 01'

If I look at this as part 1("Orientation") of a 4 part story ("Fresh"), then the only feedback I can think to give is that it is perfect. It pulls the audience in and leaves them wanting more. That being said, it feels kinda difficult to give specific feedback since it feels like the story hasn't really started yet. It hasn't gotten to the things that usually trip most authors up.

I will say this though: If the meat of this story is ends up being like the basketball court scene of your other story "Black Cock Era", then this story could end up being very good. That chapter dove right into the core of the story, the stuff that is difficult to write, and you nailed it. The characters of "Fresh" will have more development behind them when they get to that point, so it has a chance to be even better.

did you not already have a multi episode version of these people also entitled fresh? Hopefully this will be better then the first one

NWR = Not Worth Reading!

Very poor character development and that is its strongest point!

"He slid one of his black hands down her Lululemons and cupped her ass cheek."

Best line I've seen on this site. I thought you were using product-placement with the Lululemons the page before but you expertly parlayed that into a quaint euphemism instead. Please keep writing!

I was reading this when you posted them in separate parts and got pretty bummed when you took them all down haha. Glad it's back up so we can see what kind of trouble Leah gets herself into. Keep it coming because I definitely want to read more.

I was reading this when you were posting by the chapter. I really look forward to reading the rest.

It is great to see you back. Big fan. Great start.

Wow are all white girls like this in college or is it just in this story!!!!

Donkey kong did nothing wrong.

The myth of the magical black cock on this site continues forever, despite being complete bullshit.