All Comments on 'Fugitive'

Good concept, but you cheated us out of an ending.

Nope, sorry a whole lot too simplistic, and the bookkeeping needs tending to, million bucks, must have won the lottery on the way. BUT hey it was entertaining and that's all that counts in the end.

story needs to be finished

When you write a story (and this one has a good start) FINISH THE DAMN STORY BEFORE YOU POST IT!!!

Good start, but needs more!

Good stuff. Loved how he convinced the kids.

Not a bad story… to start with but the author must have gone to sleep (or was he the runaway dad) because he forgot to FINISH THE DAMN STORY!!!

wanted more of this story.

I still like this a lot!

Probably the most used comment but damn it finish the story. Chapter two would have them over 18 and livin a good life while the slut goes broke trying to find them.

kids ruin absolutely everything

Absolutely wish this had a sequel to it, feels like it could be a great series of stories.

DVDs would not convict her. She did not sgree with Steve. MC fled and took the kids out of the country. He is a fugitive. Glad the kids ate behind him now. Who knows what happened to Steve. Probably left her when no gravy train. At least the kids ate the MC's.

Sequel, please.

Our hero could start by sending his DVDs to the police. Or to his attorney, with instructions to show the police.

“TO WHOM THIS PUSSY BELONGS??” Are you taking the piss. Not only one of the most over used cliches used in LW, but by far the most hilarious example.

time to change your name to 'Like rotten wine'.....

As others have said- another unfinished story.

It needs a private confrontation even if it's over the phone.

What a load of shit

How did this unfinished crappy story rate over four stars? 1*

No ending

Good start, incomplete

1 star for the extreme disappointment caused by an unfinished story.

Utter shame. Compared to your other stories this one feels like going to a restaurant, ordering a chicken parmesan and getting salmonella from eating it, because while everything else looked good, the chef was an idiot that believed serving uncooked chicken would get him famous because nobody else would serve it and only he thought of this "bright" idea.

Now the cook is famous, famous for being a plonker.

⭐⭐⭐

Incomplete.

seems like u wrote this when u were shitting in the potty?

Nice but about a third of a story

Good story a follow up would be great.

Another cop out ending.... this style of writing is annoying. If you are going to write a story please bother to actually have an actual conclusion.

This is the start of a great story. Please continue the series.

4 stars - Yes, I agree with a comment below about leaving North America. I have traveled to many countries and there are too many better and safer choices around this world. North America would certainly be my last choice.

It was a good idea for a story. But you never developed it. At the very least, he would have confided in his kids, so they knew the “why” as to he left. And hiding in the USA is a lot harder to do, than a shithole, Latin American third world country. I am pretty sure if this was for real, he would have totally gone off grid. And this includes, a third world new wife. I gave it two stars for the story line.

Desperately needs a sequel, a long and involved one.

What a great half if a story. Did they make it,

Looked like the author had PME…pre mature ejaculation!

Good start, but wheres the rest of the story. Disappointing.

A good setup, but no real follow-through, just left dangling in the wind. Pity.

I read it again and this still needs a follow up

Good story. Could use another page??

Another good story without a finish.

not much.

I enjoyed it but like most commentors say there should be a sequel. Also, a million in cash should have at least paid for a PI to let him know whats going on back home. And maybe get Steve's nuts in a sling lol.

where is the rest?

good start for the story, but where's the rest? What happened to wide and Steve. I hate partial stories. Need more payback.

This was a good start to a story, but only a start. It is incomplete. I was thinking 4 -5* until you just quit. Seems like you just got tired and quit. What there was of it is pretty good. 3*

3* for an unfinished story. Hell he had the DVD's he could have staged his disappearance and make Steve look like they did it.

Didn't like it. I hate a runner. Stay and handle your business. Give Steve a knee injury he'll remember for the rest of his life. Threaten the wife you'll turn her in for conspiracy to commit murder if she doesn't agree to your divorce terms. Once all that is done then leave.

We see the hubby finds out what's going on...and does what he has to do to get his kids and himself away...good for him...but we have another wimp of an author here... the wifes cheating is also part of this story...what happens to her when she loses the kids an her hubby... but I guess that's not important in the eyes of the author...and of course the story goes unfinished and flat....what a crummy ending here.......

Million dollars he could hire all kinds of people to get cheaters

Has plenty of time to clue kids in to really what happened

Had plenty of time to have plan b and c etc

3 stars for trying

Different, that's for sure. I was looking for chapter 2, and was disappointed. Hubby did everything he could, not to be confrontational. There didn't seem to be any malice in his actions, as compared to the wife's. I guess I was just looking for some retribution.

I find myself rooting for him.

I enjoy likegoodwine stories It just seems he has a bad habit of ending them to quickly and leaving the readers hanging

I still think that with a little fleshing.out that this could be a classic.

Leave us with a story not finished for what reason? Come on finish the dann story.

Left me wanting more. Please finish it. Should be interesting to see what wife does once kids are adults and want nothing to do with her, and the husband can go to a country that doesn't have extradition rights with canada.

would have given this chapter a 4, but the story was never finished. So I have to give it a 2.

But this was a pretty good short story.

Finish it...or lets some one else...not me...to finish it...like FTDS tho I don't think he's around anymore. 4☆

Too short, too rushed. This could have been a classic LW story.

Fact is, you may have ruined what could have been a GREAT story. I hate being critical, but it seems you had great idea, you just didn't want to put forth the effort to complete the job. Can't give you less than a 1, so I won't bother with any at all.

You Please Finish The Story! ... As it is, Their forever on the run!....Like watching

re-runs of The JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!....You forever have the runs

Anyway that's my Comment 5 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Oh Oh Oh JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! See Ya!

Needs more to finish the story off.

Nitpick: "To whom that pussy belongs?" - Who talks that way during sex?

"I met somebody way better than you." - Yet you ended up cheating on the "better guy" with the loser!

Definitely needs a chapter 2!

So over loaded with misstated slang, utterly improbable concepts. I do try to suspend all logic and belief while reading on LE but I just can't. Is that Canadian Maritimes syntax and grammar? Perhaps Newfie jabber. Just can't do anymore. 8

...means no custody has been determined. No division of assets. Not sure why Mounties would be involved

Send dvd of conversation about murdering him. No charges would be filed but it would give explanation that he ran fearing for his life which he actually did.

He hires attorney and he would end law enforcement looking for him.

...to stop here!

more...!!!

Now finish it.

This has the makings of a really good story. Unfortunately, a story, by definition, needs an ending. Something this little tale lacks. It should never have even been posted. It’s incomplete. 1 star. D

Yet another 'writer' on this site who can't finish stories. 1* Also needs to fin another editor.

I usually favour BTB, vengeance and payback themes and I always seek some sort of closure at the end of the stories. However, this one here ended perfectly for me. He has the love, loyalty and custody (not in legal terms but in reality) of his children, he has the money and he has his health and abilities. He has already burnt the bi*** and is still ahead of her. The hope and possibilities in the last passage is way more satisfactory than any other endings one can easily find in LW section stories. Great work.

There are so many stories on Lit that are unfinished it cause one to wonder why. My guess is the authors of these unfinished stories start out with a pretty good idea about the plot and start writing. They then hit a wall because they never thought the story through to end, and are just flat out clueless about how to smoothly end the story.

Nice story about a man with no options raising a couple good kids.

@Dubby

You are right up to a point.

Yes a parent can leave with a child BUT

The other parent can file for emergency hearing to get a court order to make the other parent return the child.

Remember, he never left any proof of anything, he just took all the money, the kids, and ran.

She could EASILY get the emergency order to return. At which point, then the police would be able to get involved.

Needs an ending. Please!

You heard me. Finish the damn story. Other than NOT FINISHING, it was a very good story.

Thanks for the offering.

A father disappearing with his kids is no crime unless there is a court order for him not to do so. No police force would waste time and resources tracking the father down. The US immigration authorities may deport him as an undocumented (the new PC term for illegal) immigrant but the RCMP wouldn't be interested.

A very nice story but you need to finish it

Where's the second part? You can't leave it here!

Your stories are good but only seem to be one page long? Take another day, week or month but please finish the story...we need to know of the wife's misery....what happened to "Steve" and how the family got revenge on the wayward mom!

Not Quite but ALMOST....tk u mlj lv nv

But NOT to tell how cheating wife has been doing, don't care, she should only rot in hell!

But I'd like to see how he and kids make out, maybe they can leak his evidence to at least get the authorities off his back.

But really needs a second chapter and more info on what happened to the wife.

This is good enough to deserve a part 2

Little things like how is she supporting herself and the boyfriend.

This story could use part #2.

Where's the rest.

Short and oh so sweet. Usually less-talented writers try to pad their stories and stretch them out for 8-10 pages or several installments. In this case, a talented writer pulls the plug too soon. There is enough meat in the plot to allow for at least a Part Two (her relationship with the asshole, the cross-country chase, the kids, maybe a love interest, a final showdown, etc...). How about it, LGW?

And open ended - you could work more out of it later - Nice work -

This has such a rich storyline. Too bad it was not more fully developed. Well done.

Having gone through this but in reverse (she took my son away from me). In this story, the court has not made a ruling before he left. Therefore, he is not kidnapping his own children. Until he is in court and there is a court order, nothing will be done about it. And even if he had been to court there was a case of a woman from Toronto who vanished with her kids to B.C. for over ten years and nothing was done when she was found. The law is not equal by any stretch of the imagination but they still will do nothing until they give you a summons. Ignore the summons and be found in contempt of court and a bench warrant for your arrest and thirty days in jail. A far cry from kidnapping though. I gave this a ***** for originality.

It is time to change the law that automatically gives the custody of the children to the mother. In the case of adultery, the offending spouse should lose all rights to contact with the children. Any contact should be at the will of the other spouse.

The question is, What is the outcome?

I have thought of this option myself. Except, I was planning on a trip to a country without extradition.

Yes indeed, I can come up with an ending. Several in fact. That is not the point. You would not eat a half cooked steak. No one drives a car with only two wheels. Half a candy bar stays on the shelf. If you publish a book with an open ending but never come out with a sequel or series then word gets out an you're never published again.

It has an ending

You all act like you want someone to do all the work for you by writing in down

You want a sequel or ending write it yourself

It needs to follow through to a completion of some sort.

I wouldn't mind a sequel for this. Fun story though.

No finish. The bad guys won this one

There are many ways to end a story, and this is one. It ends at the start of another part of his life.

This is almost the ultimate LW male running away rather than dealing directly with a problem. Sad.

turns stability into runners. TK U MLJ LV NV

I wonder if you will ever finish a story?