All Comments on 'Fun at the Reservoir'

Poorly written and rushed. No development of story, character or orgasm. Plus, I hate snow. Prefered my original story better for personal sentimental reasons.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I love hiking, never made it on the trail, yea you were in a hurry, understandably. I guess theres no need to check the weather. Were you planning to summit ? Oh you did.

You have some nice vocabulary and phrases in your descriptions that step beyond the coarse and common language of many. The storyline is brief but shows thought. Odd capitalization of words is distracting. Complex sentences show a lot of detailed writing effort, but became too convoluted and long. An editor should have advised sentence restructuring. Check the Literotica "Writers Resources" for the old but good Strunk and White book. More depth of character, dialogue, interaction and tension involving all participants engages a reader more than a mere step-by-step narrative of events. After all, good writers get into the head of the reader, not just their own head. Write more. Read more. Write more.