All Comments on 'Gaggle of Hens'

Of course systechdickhead favored this story, what a heap of garbage.

on themes of bullying a disenchanted consensual friend and neighbor/ TK U MLJ LV NV

And you said it in the story.

totally unrealistic and unbelievable. Yes I know its a fantasy lw story. Won't happen in real life. People cannot deal with it .

This is a libel against women...How? 1st - "Hell they were all trophy wives"...2nd - "it really didn't seem to be a full brain in amongst the lot of them, the wife included"! Really? Women like to be portrayed like this? What they did, how they did it, if they were five closet gays or not, it isn't important. The story was ruined with these statments...And men that think these way are stupid as doors, as the story shows, all 5 of them did what the women had planned, and maybe they were the ones not having a "full brain in amongst the lot of them"! 1*

1* for whores and their keepers

Only one story today,What am I to do with all my hate comments I have stored up for the stories.I need more stories to bash..

Mostly I try to be helpful. You are a terrible writer. It would be in your own best interests not to write any more stories.

This story really isn't very good on a variety of levels, but more comments would just seem like piling on. I think the other comments have covered everything pretty well.

I am sure the idea behind this work was solid and the story could have been fine but there are so many run on sentences and poorly structured sentences as to make reading further than those initial six paragraphs a task beyond the endurance of a normal grade school reader.

Your opening sentence should have been three separate ideas.

Same old cuck gay shit # 1

Your stories would be better if they included a set up where a guy is retelling stories to someone else. As is, the 'trapped in character's head' thing is kinda awful to read.

That was so poorly written that it was unreadable. English must not be your native language.

Poorly written cuck wimp fag garbage......

Certainly not as terrible as these "commentators" claim. Bunch of nasty people. The writing was, indeed, poor., but the idea wasn't bad. If the idea of five loving couples is a cuck situation to you, you have a very strange mind.

Might have faired better labeled "Group sex".

This is the 1st story like this I liked. keep writing

This makes my boat run aground.

4 guys have 5 wives at their disposal and they want tom to suck them off. Now that is some sick chitt.

A group of hens is a brood. Just saying.

This must have been fun to write. It was silly to read. As if sex drives all other emotions and feelings. A nice fantasy where everyone has great sex with everyone else, no one fucks outside the group and brings STD's into the mix, and the cuckold gets to be everybody's punk boy.

Yeah, this should have been in fantasy and science fiction. Being married had nothing to do with these people's sex lives.

Pure fiction. You want non-fiction, go to the library. I appreciate any feedback. Let me know how to get better. Don't complain because some sort of sexist comment. The guys were dumb enough to go alone with it.

First, the ten of them "pair off". But the pair for the protagonist (John) is John and the first slut, Vicky, however this pair includes Jack, making it a threesome, not a pair. Tom is apparently by himself. His wife Vicky, Karen, Gail and Patsy were (not WAS) somplace else in the house getting well acquainted all in the same room. Fred and Bill "were left". Left where? The sentence construction of the someplace in the house for the four wives begs one to infer it was a lesbian quartet. But then Fred and Bill are exhausted. So somehow those two meet and engage someone or several someones else. Pam is double teamed until she is "wasted", and somehow so is Tom! (Did his eyeballs wear out? Did he break his wrist or scrape the skin off of his penis from excessive masturbation? Did he overdose on booze? The author won't tell us.)

Also, we have four males regularly screwing five females for about forty years and there is only one pregnancy? If there were more children, or even with only one child, what did that child think or say when the child was old enough to notice mommy and daddy weny out alone every fortnight. (And for Tom and Pam's "child" what did he/she say when mommy went out and daddy dressed in mommy's panties and high heels?)

And after the initial threesome and the lesbian quartet, then sextet, they never tried anything but boy-girl once every two weeks? The arithmetic doesn't support the story written that way. Every fortnight for ten weeks, Husband A goes out with one ofthe five wives in sequence. We assume Tom is at home waiting, but what are the other three husbands and four wives doing every weekend? The story doesn't explain that.

Finally, once a male penis finds its way into a male mouth, the category becomes GAY MALE.

Not rated since you're a new writer and I do not understand how the webmasters screw around with the ratings.