by thijssx
The sudden shift from 3rd to 1st person was offputting. Pick one and stick with it next time
Will the next chapter be posted soon? Or is it still in production?
It was very distracting to switch from third person (she, her etc.) to first person (I, me, my, etc.). This is probably why other readers are having trouble following this story. There was no resolution to the story, which made the long narrative pointless. If this all occurred on a truck, was it parked? There was no mention of feeling motion, so how did she discover she was on a truck? And so what? Is this supposed to be the shocking conclusion to provide an ending? You have some talent as a storyteller, but a useless conclusion to a story makes the read an unsatisfying waste of time.
I can read this just fine...I have no clue why people are having problems reading it.
Unreadable in it's current condition.