All Comments on 'Golddigger Turned Slave Ch. 01'

I read your bio and can't read the story. Maybe your name should be DeadinADitchgirl.

So you start with a third person narrative in the past tense and in the space of one short page you've gone to a first person narrative in the present tense... You need an editor, pronto! No stars from me.

I apologize for the editing errors in this story, and I am aware of the change in narrative. I honestly believe that the story is more important than a few grammatical flaws. On the other hand I thank everyone who enjoyed this story and/or favorited it. Hopefully the second chapter will be out soon.

interesting beginning of a story.Sounds like with your Bio your looking for some online adventure. to bad you haven't left a contact email

Aside from the grammar issues which I can overlook, I felt nothing for your characters. Vannessa is a caricature of a gold digger and John? There's nothing there. And nothing happened. This is like a prologue.

This story was worse than your name. Just plain awful.

Sorry.

Finding an editor on lit shouldn't really be a big deal so don't worry about it, the premise is pretty generic to start with but with fleshing out I think it could be very good. As far as your bio... I have absolutely nothing against your fetish, I actually have a bit of the inverse. However the way you went about it was extremely reckless! The kind of animals you attract with that bait can be very, very dangerous. Just please be careful darling... Er... Sloppy cum bucket, whichever.

Everyone likes a story where the person gets what he/she deserves, rather than an innocent being abused, so I think this story has promise. But you need to to a better job of editing it for grammar, usage, spelling, etc.

good start... much potential.... keep up the good work...can't wait for the adventure to develop...

Lookin for attention-especially if it's negative. Ya need to have your ass spanked -except you'd enjoy it too much.

Good start to the story - well done.

What a pathetic slut you must be to be aroused by this. I'm guessing you're a dumb whore who sits around all day fantasizing about having her holes stuffed. You probably had trouble getting through this story because you kept stopping to finger your worthless pussy...

I think you should be taught a lesson. Lots of toy play and a good spanking. Nothing like a good red ass.

Enjoyed this lovely story and wondered when you will finish part two?