All Comments on 'Golf with My "Husband"'
by Hal_Creed
- 21 Comments
swingerjoealmost 7 years agoGod, I hate when I agree with all the angry anonies. Sorry, but this is just bad. What is the point of this story? It seems that the only reason this woman is married is so that this story could be submitted to the LW category.
Twentysevenalmost 7 years agoThis story is to literature what Caddyshack was to the movies.
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoIt has potential. Don't get discouraged by the anonymous posters that never submit anything.
Keep writing!
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoThat might actually enjoy golf. A simple idea. You managed to turn this into a pile of garbage in no time flat. Badly written. Thoroughly unlikable characters. Doing really dumb things. Nothing sexy or erotic about it. Try again. This was horrible.
Tb0918almost 7 years agoYou have new ideas on old stories. Try again. The story read a little choppy for me.
Love the idea though.
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoThat was imaginative. It was a solid start. The execution didn't live up to the start, but you will get better if you keep writing!
Anonymousalmost 7 years agopeople take risks.
looking forward to other places they 'play at being married'
keep the stories coming!
RA
Hal_Creedalmost 7 years agoAuthorHi all! Just wanted to thank those who gave encouragement to a first time writer and remind some of the others that this is just a work of fiction.
If you have any suggestions to help with my future works please feel free.
A friend read this for me and said it's a bit too much Penthouse Letters and not enough story.
Hope to fix that in the future.
thecarolinadreameralmost 7 years agoCHECK OUT SOME OF THE HIGHER SCORING STORIES ON LIT. READ FOR FUN FIRST TIME, THEN GO BACK AND ANALYZE JUST HOW THE WRITER HANDLED HIS STORY. CHECK OUT PEOPLE LIKE JUST PLAIN BOB, SWINGER JOE, AND OHIO, TO NAME A FEW. GOOD LUCK. CD
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoHave you been smoking the Draino again, Dreamer?
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoC'mon, it really wasn't at all bad for a first effort: some of the comments here are way too harsh. And the combination of a gay man with a very straight (i.e. cock-craving) woman was hot.
ErotFanover 6 years agoThe writing was polished, but not mush in the way of plot.
Keep submitting.
MormonJack2 months agoHa ha... Especially the use of the classic golf statement about a hole in one, "who the fuck would ever believe us anyway!" Thank you!
