All Comments on 'Greg's Wife and Daughter'

If this is going anywhere its taking its time and bored by the end

This story belongs in BDSM, not Incest/Taboo.

I don't know where your going with this but I'd like to read more. The plot line has potential.

First story huh?

Okay, you need to work on making your stories even just a little bit believable, I mean why would a dude, that's had special forces training need to go to this sort of effort to deal with his wife and daughter??

As for even getting the women to his site, the elaborate plan was just wasteful and ineficient. And also incredibly over the top.

Then you also need to work on deciding what category you're placing this story in. There was no incest in this story. Maybe a Loving Wife, but so far most likely best suited to the BDSM section.

And also, the story was incredibly short and therefore frustrating to your readers.

With effort, you could create something readable.

Good luck.

It's not perfect, but things will get better (& easier) as you go along... I like the start, interested to see where it goes from here.

And, finally, dont let the A$$H@les & Naysayers get you down... Not every reader is going to like every story, whether its a really good story that a few people dont like, or a bad one that only a few people do... Its your story, tell it like you think it should be told.

Remember, "Those that can, DO! & Those that CANT, Hide behind Anonymous Criticizm."

There was no hint of incest in this story- BDSM, but no incest

this is great shit, next chapter please, both bitch's need a good fucking, er i mean flogging...

LOVE IT and hope that your continue with the story!

Remember: To be a real asshole means to slam others for daring to have an opposing opinion and/or "think" being anonymous on the net is a negative factor.

<P>

If you don't like people being anonymous on the net -- which was and continues to be one of the key factors for the net's growth -- YOU are the one with a problem, newbie.

As other's have noted wrong category.

The ridiculous set up is what killed it for me though. You have a guy who went through Ranger school then Special Forces" as your protagonist. With buddies who rent a freaking helicopter. I'm sure in the current bent your protagonist will, of course, have a massive 12 inch penis with an 8 inch circumference or some such nonsense. The story would have been much more believable if he were a regular guy who was fed up with being fed crap by his wife and daughter. Ideally give a bit more set up to show just how awful they are.

Ignoring the set up and judging this in the right category it's off to an ok start.

This is plain strange. A few nights in the basement would have been way more cost effective. Nice fantasy for someone that has no brains.

RS

that's a lot of plannning for a simple exercise. he could just lock the house for punishment spanking

I may not agree with everything written in every story, and as a none author I don't have the right to criticize an author. It never surprises me how gutless and cowardly anonymous commentators can be to a story they have no idea how to write in the first place. I support Sharky_R's thoughts fully. As for what category it belongs to I give Bear1954 the benefit of the doubt and wait and see. There obviously is a long term plan for this and Bear has my full support.

I'm with Mr Pervy and Sharky R. There's some potential here, and further chapters are likely to explore the incest theme. There's no problem with combined incest and BDSM; remember, guys, this is a first story so lets cut Bear 1954 some slack and see how this develops.

I nearly pissed myself laughing when I read "To be a real asshole means to slam others for daring to have an opposing opinion and/or "think" being anonymous on the net is a negative factor. " Whether being anonymous on the net is a negative factor or not isn't the point. The point is that hiding behind anonymity to make negative remarks is pretty much a working definition of cowardice. Either, if you can't say something sensible, don't say anything at all, or, if you feel you have to make negative comments, at least have the balls to sign your name!

This could still go in several directions, as far as a military man acting this way its family not an enemy on the battle field. Keep writing like to see where it goes.

Your story has the mind racing with possibilities. You could just let it end and let our imaginations finish the story or you could go for more BSDM or incest, success or failure in the training, or sell bitch and cunt to a white slaver, or or or ………..

But where is the Rest of the Story. I mean c mon they just started Training . there should be alot more to the Story.

Nice start, chapter 2 needs to be forthcoming.

If you don't have a finished story - don't post parts of it.

You start off fine and the bunker reminds me of Bert in the movie Tremors. Finish the story. Is his wife and/or daughter fucked by his friends? They need to be held into submission by a large black cock.

Well, it seems like a complete first chapter in response to other comments, even though it is not labeled as such. I think the story actually moved a little too quickly from the planning stages to execution of the "taking" of Greg's wife and daughter to the remote location. It is your choice to write the story you want of course, but the readers are likely going to have certain expectations on the build-up of suspense, the "backstory" (which you did) and the detailing of plot twists and other elements.

You are going to write a part 2 detailing the complete submission of both Bitch & Cunt, right? Perhaps, pimping out daughter to Greg's retired Special Forces friends so they can pay off those maxed out credit cards, and making Bitch watch with either a regular or electric butt plug in her ass and a vibrator in her pussy with a ball gag in her mouth.

When are you going to write the remaining part

That's not even half of a story, and you have no more chapters for it? You don't even deserve the one star that I gave you.

That is messed up as fuck. Why is there an incest tag attached to this fraction of a story, when there isn't any sex.

took to long to get here the women need to be told to obey or feel pain even to train a dog give reward before pain

That’s it?

Sucks. This NOT your basic incest. Should posted under non consent . . .