Guilty

Then she surprised me by taking my hands into hers. Okay, something was definitely going on here. This could mean anything and I didn´t want to embarrass myself by jumping to conclusions.

"Curt, you know that I really like you a lot, right?"

Okay, the ice was getting thinner here. This could announce something good, bad or nothing at all. Best to stay on the safe side. "Yes, I know. So do I."

"Curt, my husband is gone for quite a while now."

"Yes, I know."

"And we´re both healthy adults."

Oh. I liked the sound of that. "Oh, yes. We are." I allowed a slight smile to appear on my face.

"Curt, I don´t expect anything to come from this but friendship. But we are free to determine what kind of friendship we want."

I had the strong impression that too many words had already been exchanged at that point. I just stood up, walked around the table and helped her standing up. Without another word I began to place soft little kisses on her face, still a little anxious if I had understood her correctly. But her moaning soon confirmed my assumption. So I started to focus my kisses on her mouth, which seemed to be exactly the thing to do. Our open mouths met and we exchanged a few hot tongue duels.

Wordlessly we went to her bedroom and started to undress. We had both been in a long-term realtionship and were past any awkwardness about what we were about to do. She just smiled and looked about as happy as I felt.

Her body was exactly what was to be expected from a woman of her age. Very nice, very appealing, but not the slim body of a supermodel. I never liked those and it was quite insignificant anyway. We both had a need that went deeper than this and we liked each other the way we were.

As soon as she was naked, she lay down on her bed with slightly spread legs and smiled very invitingly. I briefly thought about foreplay, about licking her pussy, about having my dick sucked. But she looked quite wet and my dick was only slightly less hard than a diamond anyway. I hadn´t been with a woman for many months. No, the menu was comprising just one point today, I would skip right to the main course. And as I jumped onto the bed, I had the impression that she had no complaints at all.

I kissed her again while I aligned my cock with her pussy. I was quite aroused now, seeing her naked, smelling her and tasting her. I desperately tried to fight my urge to just push it into her in one go, knowing that this could be painful and a serious turn-off for some women. For some reason, I wanted this to be perfect, not only for me, but mainly for her.

I managed to hold myself back for a few minutes of tender strokes before I gave up my restraint and just started to mindlessly fuck her. My movements became fierce and urgent and I almost lost control and came too early. Just in time I managed to slow myself down and to change my movements to slower ones, keeping her clitoris gently aroused with the base of my dick, slowly building her up towards her climax. It took some patience, some nipple play and a lot of kissing, but finally her muscles contracted around my dick and she made little cooing sounds that almost caused me to laugh. I felt proud to still be able to satisfy a woman, even at the first time we were together. I would have loved to continue with longer, deeper strokes at that time to work on my own satisfaction, but Karen was preventing that by clamping me tight with both arms and showering me with small kisses. It felt good and was definitely worth postponing my own release.

After my own climax we were lying in her bed, cuddling and kissing and everything felt almost right. But I also realized that it wasn´t perfect. There was still a tinge of sadness in the back of my head, especially in a situation like this. This was no burning love, but we both got what we needed at the time.

I felt better than I had in a long time and the rest of the day was just one pleasant and relaxed blur.

xx

My fantastic mood lasted only a few weeks. The turning point was the realization that I had forgotten to check the mailbox in the morning. That in itself was no problem as I checked it every day and the thing had never done me any harm. But on that day I found a letter that I would have preferred not to receive.

It was a big manila envelope with my name on it and a hand-written text "enjoy this - Tim" on it. Tim again. Damn. Why could that bastard not leave me alone?

I immediately threw it away without even opening it and quickly forgot it. At least this would have been the only logical reaction. To avoid being the victim of whatever game he planned to play. And seriously, I was no woman. As a man I was definitely able to hold my curiosity in check and leave it unopened.

A few seconds later I saw that it contained an ultrasonic picture. They all looked the same for me. This could either be a squirrel's ass or Einstein's brain as far as I could tell. Tim had obviously anticipated this and had included a small explanatory note.

"It´s a boy. Megan and I are sooo happy. Thanks for letting me have her, you sick child molester."

Shit.

Of course, I didn´t care. I mean, why should I? Megan and I were through. But two details annoyed me. A lot. A whole lot, to be honest.

One - he knew where I lived and he obviously intended to exploit that for some kind of game. This letter meant that he planned to mess up my life somehow. Why? What have I ever done to this guy? First he had to rub my nose into the fact that he had fucked Megan. And now he wants to keep me from getting my life onto track again? What an asshole.

And two - Megan was really pregnant with this asshole´s child? I mean, we were separated. She could do what she wanted. But seriously - Tim? A classy woman like Megan had decided that having such an idiot's child was the right thing to do? Had she completely gone nuts? I had to admit that I was more jealous that I was comfortable with. And the worst thing was - it somehow worked. If his goal was to disturb my newfound balance, this was certainly the way to do it. I decided to sit on my deck and watch the waves for a while to calm down again.

xx

Karen and I soon became good friends and she showed me the area and introduced me to a lot of nice people. She seemed to know almost everyone, which was no surprise as she had grown up here and it was quite small anyway. Everybody seemed to like her, which of course included me. This ended my existence as a hermit, which had more or less started on the day of my arrest almost one year earlier. Through Karen I acquired a lot of new friends and was glad for it. It felt so much better to be among people again. She reintegrated me into society and we both had a marvelous time while she did it.

xx

The only disturbing factor turned out to be my mailbox again. The harmless looking sheet metal object became the greatest threat to my new found peace of mind. The next attack came in form of an elaborate white envelope. Of course I knew that it would have been better to just throw the thing away. And of course, I opened it nonetheless.

"Megan Walters

and

Tim Byrne

request the pleasure of your company

at the celebration of their union

..."

I didn´t bother to read the rest. This really hit me. First she was having the bastard´s child, now she was marrying him? Fuck them. Seriously. But it hurt nonetheless. Boy, did it hurt.

And why the hell did they have to rub my nose in this? I was finally beginning to get over her. Tim was an asshole all right. But why did Megan have to be so cruel? Did she really expect me to attend their wedding? To remain friends? Well, if she did, this was certainly not the way to do it. My few remaining feelings towards her further deteriorated by such shit, that much was certain.

xx

But Karen was just great. She patiently managed to build me up again after these assaults. Such a kind woman, completely unlike the nightmare Megan had transformed into. We found the way into each other's beds with ease, it just was the natural thing to do. We were in some kind of friends with benefits relationship for three months. None of us mentioned moving in together permanently, although we both had the key for the other's house. Keeping both houses seemed to be the unspoken consensus. Somehow we were both not ready to make the full commitment, maybe because of the spouses we both had lost before in very different ways.

We enjoyed a nice, sunny afternoon on the deck of my house, looking at the sea, as we often enjoyed doing when she wasn't working. I was doing plumbing for friends only now as I had enough activities to fill my time with, thanks to Karen. And I did it only when Karen was at work anyway because the time we had together was precious to me. Sex with her was very pleasant, although not as magical as it had been with Megan. I didn´t yet feel the burning love I had felt for Megan, but I was optimistic that that would change soon. And that the sex would improve too due to the growing intimacy.

My business could still be found on the net, which I had planned to change for quite some time. But I had never gotten around to actually do it. To be honest, I had no exact idea how to remove something from the internet anyway. I was just a simple plumber.

We were enjoying our drinks when my doorbell rang.

"I´ll get it," Karen said. I was thankful for that because I was in a quite calm and lazy mood at the time. I was content to watch the waves. We felt very much at home in each other's houses, so it was no big deal for Karen to answer my door.

"Curt! Ah... You better come and take a look at this yourself!"

Ah, well. What might this be? An "emergency" including pushy Jehovah's Witnesses maybe? I lazily hauled my relaxed body towards the front door. And what I saw there could only be described as a complete shock. Standing there were my ex-wife Megan, my ex-daughter Lara, my ex-father Carl, my ex-mother Brenda and my ex-friends Jane and Alan. All the people that had declared me persona non grata were there, only Tim was missing. They held a big, home-made sign saying "WE´RE SORRY!" and they all looked quite sheepishly. Nobody said a word. Neither Karen nor one of them. I was too stunned for even a rational thought, let alone a spoken word. Lara was busy watching my feet, as was Brenda. Carl tried to look me in the eyes in a sympathetic way. Megan looked pleadingly, with tears in her eyes. The six of them held hands, Megan and Lara were also holding the ends of the sign. Actually, this was really quite cute. It was somehow impossible to be angry while watching them standing there with their dumb sign.

"Okay, come in, then." My brain had cleared a little and I was able to phrase a meaningful sentence again.

"Uh, really?" Megan asked shyly. They all smiled a little.

"Yeah, come on, let's get over with it. You have found my plumbing business on the net?"

"Right," Alan said.

"Assumed that much. I've always wanted to remove it but was too lazy. By the way, this is my girlfriend Karen. Karen, these are my ex-wife, ex-daughter, ex-parents and ex-friends." My tone was calm, even friendly in the distanced way you greet a stranger.

Megan had gasped a little when I had introduced Karen as my girlfriend. But they all were quite shocked, when I introduced them all as my "ex".

"So Curt... Um... we are all your exes, Curt?" Brenda asked tentatively.

"Come on, let's go to the deck and watch the sea. It will help us relax."

"You sure landed on your feet," Carl observed after we had taken a seat on the deck.

"Yeah, I sued the media companies."

"Glad to hear that."

"By the way, you all chose your status as ex. Megan divorced me. Lara declared that she no longer is my daughter. Carl and Brenda declared not be my parents any more, Alan and Jane said the same about our friendship. Tim made the same statement by sending me a photo of him fucking Megan. I wasn't my choice."

They all gasped as I mentioned Tim fucking Megan. It seemed the news about that might not have spread that widely yet. Which didn´t really fit to the ultrasound picture and the wedding invitation.

"Curt, my son, we're here to work on that. We know that we've wronged you," Brenda said.

I didn´t know what to say about this. I didn´t have the nerve for a snide remark, it just wasn't worth it. I had half expected that I would have to decide one day how I felt about them. But after months of pain I had finally gotten over them. I didn´t need this meeting or any form of revenge, I had left my old life behind and made my peace with it.

We sat on the deck and the following silence lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I didn´t really have anything I wanted to tell these people. I wasn't interested in their current lives. Or how they felt. Or in their justifications. Luckily Karen sensed this and asked, "Would anyone like to have something to drink maybe?" to alleviate the tension. She was really my anchor.

We all pretended to watch the sea for a while to avoid the need to talk, no one had the guts the make the first step. This is ridiculous, I thought.

"Okay, so you came here to apologize?"

"Um, yes." Yeah." "Yes." "Right." They were all talking at once now.

"All together or separately? How have you planned to do this?"

"We haven't really planned it in detail. We just thought we need to find you and clarify things," Megan said. She seemed to be the point man.

"Oh, I think everything was quite clear. I was declared guilty and dumped immediately."

"Yes, Curt. And, believe us... Well... We're really terribly sorry about this. Terribly. We... We were so very weak when you needed us most."

"Yeah, sure. Apology accepted."

They all looked a little shocked.

"What? Anything else?"

"Well, it was not what we had hoped to achieve."

"What? Am I supposed to give you away when you marry Tim?"

She was stunned now. As was everybody else. This was not what they had expected, I thought.

"Curt, I won´t marry Tim. I don't even know where he is. This was so wrong. I shouldn't have let him near me, even after you had been served with divorce papers. He exploited my weakness and insecurity. I was helpless and insecure at the time. It was lost, suddenly alone. The whole world seemed to hate us."

"Megan, if you never planned to marry Tim, I received one hell of a wedding invitation."

Everybody seemed to be stunned.

"What?" "You received what?" "Huh?"

Lara was the first to phrase a complete sentence. "Dad, let's assume they really sent such invitations. Shouldn't I have been invited? I mean, I'm her daughter. Shouldn't anyone here know something about that insignificant little event?"

I didn´t know what to believe at that point. Either they were acting in an Oscar-worthy way or Tim had made the whole thing up. "Okay, what about the baby?"

"Baby? What baby?" Megan asked. Everybody looked confused.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"Curt, I didn´t have sex for an eternity and I can think of nothing else causing a pregnancy. Curt, why do you ask such nonsense? I'm sure that I'm quite un-pregnant at the moment."

"Well, Tim sent this." I retrieved the ultrasonic picture along with the wedding invitation.

"Curt, let me have a look, please," Jane said. She was a nurse and such pictures actually made sense to her. "That looks bad, Curt. The appendix is quite swollen. But I believe we can rule out a pregnancy. The fact alone that this shows a man makes it seem improbable."

"Tim, the little shit. I can't believe it. He has some nerve. Why would he do this?" I asked.

"I have no idea, Curt. I haven't really talked to him since I've come to my senses and kicked him out after that horrible one-time lapse for which I will be eternally sorry and ashamed. But he has been sniffing around all the time since, he was almost stalking me. He professed his eternal love for me again and again. But I wouldn´t give him the time of the day.

"So, maybe he's doing this to prevent us from burying the hatchet? Because that would ruin his chances to get me? Curt, these chances exist in his head only, anyway."

"Yeah, that might even make sense." Damn. The day had started in a relaxed way. And with my head filled with all the information I needed to draw a line under my old life. And now I was in this awkward situation and my comfortable beliefs began to tumble.

"But why does he hate you so much that he still tries to hurt you as much as possible? He could woo me without doing this stuff."

"Well, he recently called me and claimed that you and him were about to marry at the time we met. And that I snatched you away from him, ruining his life with it. And that he hates me because of it."

"I... what? He... I can't believe it. He fantasized about marrying me? It was more likely that I´d marry the Pope than Tim. It seems he was living in some dream world for quite some time. I sensed that he fancied me and tried not to crush him while rejecting him. I might have not been clear enough about that. Maybe I should have been harsher. In hindsight, it would have been better for everyone, even for him.

"Curt, I'm so sorry for giving in to him once. I just... I don't know. I was so weak at the time, so insecure. And most of all I felt just so very alone."

"No, Megan. You had your daughter, your family, your friends. I was alone, truly alone. I had nobody. Not a single person wanted to talk with me. No one wanted to hear my side of the story. Everybody dumped me like a piece of garbage. I was sitting in an empty prison cell for months. That´s what I call alone. Being surrounded by friends and family is not exactly alone." Shit. I didn´t want to argue. I didn´t want to return to this time mentally. This was not good. Stay calm, I thought. This is a thing of the past. It doesn't affect you any more. Breathe deeply.

"Curt... yes... we know. We... we behaved like shit. Some things contributed to our behavior though. Everyone, neighbors, friends, everyone knew what had supposedly happened. Everybody expected us to distance ourselves from you as drastically as possible. Otherwise we would have been regarded as some kind of accomplices. In other words, the society pressed us to shun you. Of course, this is no excuse. But believe me - the pressure was extremely high. Unbearably high. You know - you were probably more shielded from this in your prison cell than we were. Sometimes we were glad that our house wasn't burned down and somebody still sold us groceries. And that Lara was only bullied, but not physically harmed in school. I half expected an angry mob in front of our house all the time. But we know that it was still our choice and that we should have been stronger. But the papers and TV stations were convinced that you were guilty. We were shocked about that. Curt... too shocked to really question this. Please keep that in mind when you judge us. And please be more kind than we have been."

"Yeah, and you had to fuck Tim and rub it into my nose? Because the society expected this?"

"Sorry, that was a stupid blunder. I was so insecure, I felt so lost. I needed someone to help me. It was a really terrible experience. It was only once and I felt so low afterwards. Even if you had been guilty, this would not have been right. Technically it might not have been cheating because you had already been served, but morally it was totally wrong. And after I found out that he had sent you the photo, I dumped him immediately. That was plain disgusting. I believe he just used the photo to hurt you. And I just used him to feel less alone. Sex with him was terrible, by the way. I felt even more alone while he was doing it." She seemed quite sincere and managed from time to time to divert her eyes from my feet and look into my eyes.

"Okay... okay... so let's assume society pressed you all to officially dump me. But - how shall I put this - no one would have known if you had let me down gentler. If you had said, Curt, we need to avoid contact for a while. But we are still at your side in our minds. No, you had this option, but you decided to dump me as brutally as you could, to destroy me."