All Comments on 'Halloween Night of Firsts'

by Txdelicatablegrl

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Totally Naughty and Loving Every Minute of It

It was totally naughty! I love your style of writing!!!

sacksackover 18 years ago
there is so much happening here...

You could have made this into three short stories!! You might want to consider using longer paragraphs. The constant succession of short paragraphs makes your ideas appear a bit choppy and the story tends to be more jumpy because it.

Anonymous
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