Hard Choices Ch. 02

I reached for the sheet and covered us.

"That was awesome, Jess. Thanks for letting me watch."

She pulled my hand to the breast she had abused. I felt the rock hard nub and cupped her boob.

"It was ten times hotter having you there. I have never cum that hard by masturbating. Thank you, Susie. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Soon Jess was sleeping soundly. I was fighting my own arousal. Was I crazy by not giving into screwing this fabulous woman I held in my arms? Kissing her neck, I imagined the two of us taking each other. With that image burning into me, I drifted away.

Early Sunday morning I was reading the paper and enjoying a cup of coffee. Instead of sleeping in, I got up and left Jess still asleep. I would have an hour or so to myself. The quiet in our apartment, the simple joy of reading the Sunday paper and relaxing was well worth the sacrifice of a few hours of sleep. I recalled the intensity of watching Jess masturbate last night. It filled me with warmth.

My usual attire of flannel PJ bottoms and long-sleeved tee shirt added to my relaxed mood. After Jess and I became friends, I got the courage to wear my favorite bunny slippers around the apartment. I got a new pair from my mom every Christmas. It was sort of a joke, but she also knew I just loved the comfy feel. Of course, I would die of embarrassment if anyone else ever saw me in them.

I fixed a plate of French toast and splurged by using real maple syrup and butter. To hell with counting calories on Sunday morning. Struggling with one corner of the crossword I was surprised to hear a knock at our door. I considered running to put on different clothes when the rap intensified.

Looking through the peephole I saw a familiar face. What puzzled me was why this person was at our door. I opened and greeted Brigid Callahan. She was one of the star volleyball players. Since I served as a trainer for the team, I had gotten to know her. We weren't buds and never socialized, but we did have a cordial relationship. I guess when you have your hands all over a person's naked body during a massage, you do tend to form some type of bond.

"Brigid, hi."

"Can I come in, Susan?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah, come in."

Now I truly regretted the bunnies on my feet, my uncombed hair and make-up free face.

"Want a coffee?"

"Coffee would be great, if you don't mind."

I led her to the kitchen and pushed the stack of papers aside so she would have a place at the table. I poured her a mug. There was cream and sugar on the table. She fussed with her coffee, not making eye contact with me.

"God, Susan, I don't know how to begin?" She was close to tears.

"Well, how about telling me why you're here?"

"That's just it," she said. "I'm not sure why I came. Maybe I should just leave." She went to stand and knocked over her coffee drenching the newspaper on the table. I thought that the simple pleasure of finishing the crossword just vanished under a dark stain.

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry. This is not working out. I have to leave," she said as she sank back onto the chair.

I grabbed her hand. "Brigid, calm down. It's just spilled coffee. What's the matter?"

This time she could not hold back the tears and began sobbing. Her shoulders shook and her breath came in gasps. Her hands dangled between her legs. I stopped mopping up the coffee and placed a hand on her shoulder. Brigid recoiled at my touch.

"Brigid, what's going on?"

"You've destroyed my life," she said between gasps.

I froze. What could she possible be talking about? We only had such a superficial relationship, how could I have done anything to harm her, let alone destroy her?

"Brigid, let's sit in the living room. We need to talk."

She slowly stood and made her way to our couch. We sat on opposite ends. She still had difficulty looking at me. Her sobs were slowing as she struggled for control. In spite of her crying I appreciated how pretty she was. Like a lot of the players, she wore her hair long and either braided it or fashioned a pony tail for games. Today it hung loose, falling on her shoulders. I had long admired her dark hair, with an ever-present bright sheen. Her fair complexion and dark eyebrows drew your attention to her deep blue eyes. As the leading outside hitter, she was six feet two, but never looked anything other than graceful on the court. Today she wore jeans and a team sweatshirt. I knew first hand that she had an attractive figure with toned muscles, small breasts and long, shapely legs.

As her last tear was wiped away on her sleeve, she raised her head. Her nose was read and her eyes slightly swollen. Still, she looked pretty.

"Ok, Brigid, what's going on? How could I possibly do anything to destroy your life?"

She started to speak and then stopped. She was staring over my shoulder. I turned to see Jess in the doorway, stretching with her arms above her head. Her eyes were closed as she yawned. I guess what made Brigid stare was Jess was wearing just a pair of black bikini bottoms. Her bare breasts bounced with her every move.

"Uh, Jess, company," I said.

She opened her eyes and spotted Brigid.

"Oops, pardon the tits," she said and ducked back into her bedroom.

Jess and I discovered we both loved the Dexter TV series and we had watched the entire collection on Netflix. The first time I had walked in on her topless, she used that line from one of the shows. I immediately got the reference and we cracked up. Now, whenever one of us inadvertently caught the other without a top, we always said, "pardon the tits."

"See,' said Brigid, "that's what I'm talking about."

"Brigid, you aren't talking about anything, nor are you making any sense."

"Susan, you've seen me naked—lots of times. You've given me massages, actually great massages, but that's not the point. But, you know I have hardly any boobs."

"Brigid, I never thought..."

"Let me finish. I know you must have great boobs. They look so good in the clothes you wear. Now, I see firsthand that your roommate has fabulous boobs. So, I guess that's why I've been left out in the cold."

"Brigid, you are not making any sense. Really, I haven't a clue what you're talking about."

Jess had returned clothed in sweatpants and a tee shirt.

"Hi, I'm Jess. Sorry about before. Didn't know you were here."

Brigid just looked at Jess' outstretched hand.

"Jess, this is Brigid Callahan. She's on the volleyball team."

"Oh."

"She came by today to tell us that we are destroying her life."

"Really?" said a surprised Jess. "And, how are we doing that?"

"Don't know, but it seems to have something to do with our boobs."

"Boobs?"

"Yep, boobs."

We both looked at Brigid. Her pale complexion had turned to deep crimson. I was afraid she was going to break down again. She took a long breath to steady herself.

"It's just that now that I see the two of you and how beautiful you both are that I understand. I mean I knew you were unbelievably pretty, Susan. But, to have both of you like so damned beautiful, I'm totally screwed. So, now I totally understand."

"Understand what?" I practically screamed.

"Understand why Christa dumped me and is screwing you two."

Jess and I looked at each other in amazement.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Brigid looked at her watch and said nine forty-five.

"It's too early for tequila," I said out loud. "Jess, do we have any vodka?"

"Think so."

"Screwdrivers it is," I announced.

"Huh?" said Brigid.

"Honey, if we are going to talk about what I think we are going to talk about I need a drink. I know we have OJ, so I am about to mix up a pitcher of screwdrivers and then the three of us are going to have a long, long talk."

Minutes later with drinks in hand, we reconvened in the living room. Brigid and I were at opposite ends of the couch and Jess pulled up a chair close to me. Brigid gulped half her screwdriver. She took a deep breath and looked at Jess and me. She then finished her glass and held it out for me to refill it.

"Christa and I have been dating for over a year," she said. "I like fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"How did you meet?" Jess asked.

"She played on the team in my freshman year, her sophomore year. She's really good, well until she tore her knee apart. Anyway, we met and hit it off right away. Even though she was living in some sorority and I was living in a dorm, we started hanging out together. It was like a dream for me. Here was this beautiful, smart, athletic, funny woman who wanted to hang with me."

I looked at her, thinking she could not possibly think she was not all of what she ascribed to Christa.

"Brigid, I don't want to interrupt, but have you ever looked in a mirror?"

She stared at me.

"Really. You are one of the most attractive women I have ever met."

"You're fucking with me, right?" she said.

"No way. Jess?"

"She's right, Brigid. You're a hottie."

Brigid shook her head. She finished her second drink and held the glass out for more. I knew if she had driven here, we'd be taking her keys away as I filled her glass.

"Ever since seventh grade when I got my big growth spurt, I've been a freak. I was like a whole head taller than anyone in my grade, including the boys. I had braces, thick glasses and acne. I dreaded going to school each day. Of course to top everything off, I had no boobs. I don't mean tiny boobs, I mean no boobs. I could take my top off and everyone would think I was a guy. It was like that in seventh, eighth and even the first couple years of high school. My nicknames were "Stick", "Slim", "Stretch" and, best of all, "NT", for no tits. Of course, theoretically people only called me that behind my back. But you know what high school is like. That became everyone's favorite nickname for me. So, for most of my high school years I was NT. Great for your ego."

Brigid drank some more of her drink and eased her legs out in front. I envied her long limbs and recalled how wonderful they felt under my fingers during a massage.

"Anyway, by sophomore year, I convinced my parents to let me get contacts and I had finally gotten rid of my braces. My acne also calmed down. But, I still had little in the chest department. People wanted me to play basketball, but the crowds at the games were too big. Being so shy, I opted for volleyball, where we hardly ever have anyone show up for a tourney. I had a couple girlfriends from the team, but we weren't all that close.

"So, my social life was non-existent. In addition, my parents are really great, but they are also like super conservative. We never talked about sex. I think they were happy I never got involved with boys. I asked my cousin to be my date for the senior prom. How pathetic. You should see our pictures. Guess my side of the family got the tall genes. Ralph barely reached my shoulder. Yeah, I graduated from high school a total virgin and having never kissed anyone. Wait, I take that back. My one good friend, Sheila, the manager of our team, practiced making out with me a couple times. And you guys can laugh, but that was the most sex I ever had in my life. Imagine being a senior in high school and the only thing I ever did was let a girls kiss me for like ten seconds."

I wasn't sure why Brigid was telling us this painful story, but I figured she needed to do so.

"I got a scholarship to come here and play," she continued. "By now, I had gotten what little boobs I have. I figured I'd have a chance to start new. The first week I was in the shower on our floor, it was all girls. I just stepped out and was drying off when one of the girls from the other end of the hall saw me. She was with two other girls. She looked at my chest and said, 'Hey, the boy's shower is downstairs.' I guess she was just trying to make a joke, but it really hurt. I wrapped my towel around me and bolted to my room.

"We had practice that afternoon and I sucked. My head was so far out of the game, the coach sat me down. After practice, Christa came up. We had chatted a couple times, but never really talked. I mean she was an upper classman, a star player and like the most popular person on the team. She asked me if I were all right. I said yes and then burst into tears. She sat with me and I told her about what had happened in the shower. Laughing, she looked around to be sure we were alone in the gym. She grabbed her shirt and pulled it and her sports bra up to her chin."

Brigid teared up again. I hoped she could keep it together.

"So, I'm looking at her breasts, which I thought were about the most beautiful things in the world because they belonged to this gorgeous woman. She says I bet these are no bigger than yours. I told her they were way bigger. She laughed again and grabbed one of my boobs. I almost screamed. That was the first time anyone, ever, touched me. I couldn't believe it. She says that my boob felt just fine. She pulled her shirt back down and put her hands on my shoulders.

"She said, 'You are a beautiful woman, Brigid Callahan. If someone can't see that or chooses to ignore it, I say, fuck them. Now, let's get dressed and go overdose on a quart of Ben and Jerry's.'"

For the first time since she arrived at our apartment, Brigid smiled. She must have been recalling how good it felt to have made a friend and one who accepted her and loved her for what she was.

"She's right, Brigid," I said. "Boobs are not that important."

"You know, Susan, I hear that a lot. I hear it mostly from girls who have fantastic boobs. I don't hear it from girls like me. So excuse me if I don't believe you. I'd bet anything you would not trade what you have for what I don't have."

I wanted to rebut what she just said, but I knew I wouldn't want to have small boobs. As much as I might say mine are too big, I loved them. I also loved Jess'. My mind slipped to thinking about the times I was able to touch Jess' and even kiss them.

"Well, you're right in that people think that Christa is beautiful" I told her. "And, she doesn't care what size her boobs are. And, I happen to think they are fantastic."

"Well, you should know," shot back Brigid.

I really walked into that one.

"Real smooth, Susie," said Jess.

"So, tell me the truth. The three of you had sex, right? That's what Christa said. She told me she didn't want to be tied down. Like I was in her way or something. She promised we could still be friends, still have sex and all that shit, but what it really meant was that she was interested in screwing two hot girls and dumping good old NT Callahan."

Brigid broke down again. I took the drink from her hand before she dumped the remainder on herself. I wanted so badly to pull her to me and hold her, but I was afraid she would push me away. Jess and I exchanged a glance. She made a motion with her eyes that I should go to Brigid. I shrugged and shook my head. She nodded vigorously.

Slowly I inched across the couch. Brigid was holding her head in her hands and bawling. I touched her arm. She didn't react. I slid next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. She sagged and bent forward. Pulling on her shoulder, I let her collapse in my lap. Her chest racked with deep cries. I stroked her hair marveling at its silky feel. I pulled it back and tucked it behind her ear. Jess had gone to her bedroom and returned with a box of tissues. I pushed a handful into Brigid's hand. She took them and wiped her eyes and cheeks. I took the soggy tissues and handed her a couple more. She blew her nose and tried to control her tears.

I gently stroked her head but said nothing. Jess looked on and I could see her tearing up. Shit, just what I needed, two freaked out girls. I knew if Jess started, I'd join her in bawling. Well, it happened. Jess sobbed. I felt my throat constrict and I felt the tears rolling down my cheek. Within seconds the three of us were sobbing loudly.

Brigid seemed to realize what was happening. She sat up and looked at Jess and me.

"Why are you guys crying?"

I answered, being pretty sure what Jess and I were feeling.

"Because we feel like total shits," I said. "We never knew Christa was involved with you. I would never want to hurt another woman like this. I would certainly never, ever want to hurt you."

"Why?"

I surprised myself with my answer. "Because you are one of the sweetest persons I know."

Brigid looked in my eyes searching for the lie. She shook her head and tried to stand. I guess she was not much of a drinker because she plopped back down.

"I don't feel so good," she said.

"Yeah, how about resting for a bit?" I said softly.

"Gotta go," she claimed, but I heard her slur her words.

"Honey, you can't go anywhere like this. Jess, can you get the throw?"

I moved back down the couch, pulling Brigid with me. I eased her head back into my lap. Jess lifted her legs onto the couch and covered her with the light blanket.

"Gotta go," Brigid said weakly.

Instinctively I bent and kissed her head. "Stay here, Brigid. We'll take care of you."

"But I hate you," she said, although her eyes were closed.

"Yeah. That's ok. Just rest."

"Ok," she whispered. Then, she was out.

I kept stroking her hair and running my hand up and down her arm. I wanted to protect her more than anything else I could think of.

"Gonna grab a shower," Jess said quietly.

"Take her shoes off," I said.

Jess undid the laces and pulled her winter boots from her feet. She tucked the bottom of the throw around them. Jess patted Brigid's leg.

"She's a mess," she said.

"Yeah, but she needs us right now," I told her.

"Don't know, Susie. I think she'd rather stick needles in our eyes."

"No, she needs us. She may not know it, but she does. You go on. I'm going to stay here."

Jess left and I heard the shower start. Looking down at Brigid's face, I was overcome with a tenderness that was unexpected. The overpowering desire to protect her returned with force. I leaned my head back against the cushions. As I felt sleep creeping in, I shocked myself with the thought that maybe I also wanted something more from this beautiful and delicate flower in my lap.

I awoke with a start just as I was dreaming about some hot sex. I couldn't remember the details, just that I was being turned on and wanting to cum. I looked down in my lap. Brigid had turned her head and her hot breath was wafting over my pussy, lightly covered in flannel. Her hand was gripping my thigh as her long, slender fingers nestled less than an inch from the junction of my thighs. I was damp and horribly embarrassed. God, I hoped she couldn't smell my arousal.

Jess walked in dressed in jeans, a turtleneck with a yellow fleece vest on top. So simple, yet it made my heart race. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail. She looked at me and noticed where Brigid's fingers were. She eased her glasses down and gave me a look over the rims.

With an arch of an eyebrow, she said more than words could ever express. I shrugged and mouthed, "I don't think she knows."

Just then Brigid stirred. She moved her hand and now her fingers pressed against my pussy. Still sleeping, she moved her finger up and down. I just discovered a new level of awkward. Grabbing her by the wrist, I tried to ease her hand away. Actually, I was afraid I might scald it with the heat flowing from my crotch. Brigid groaned and opened her eyes. It took a second for her to realize where she was. She looked at her fingers tight against my sex.

"Oh, my god," she cried and sat straight up. The movement was too sudden and she put her hand to her mouth.

"Jess, she's going to puke. Get the wastebasket."

Jess dashed to the kitchen and returned with the green basket. Thank god it had a liner in it. Brigid bent over and threw up. She coughed, heaved some more and tried to catch her breath. I wasn't quick enough to pull her hair away, and there was vomit tangled into her long strands.