Hartstein Ch. 04

"And so I hatched another plan."

"You didn't!" Paul exclaimed.

"She did," Jim chimed in. "And I liked it."

"I'm sure you did, you perv!" Celia yelped happily.

"So what happened?" Paul asked impatiently.

Celia laughed and asked, "You gonna put this in your novel?"

"You never can tell," he replied with a grin.

"Do it!" Jim shouted. "Damn, just do it!"

"Why should I make you famous?" Paul laughed.

"What ... you'd use my real name?"

"Sure-- if you fucked Joanna and Celia after being jerked off at a club. You'd be famous." Paul was kidding, but Jim had those beers in him and was slow picking up that he was being kidded.

"C'mon, what happened next?" Paul persisted.

"When we reached the apartment, Joanna wished us a good night and went to bed. Celia and I shut the door to our bedroom and giggled inanely. We rolled around on the bed tickling and groping each other, wordlessly reminiscing about the scene in the bar."

"We stripped down to our underwear and fell back on the bed. I'm sure Joanna heard us. I didn't know how to repay Celia except to give her the most pleasure I could. I pulled off her panties, and hoisted her hips up and kissed her pussy."

"Must you provide him with all the lurid details, Jim? He'll be humping your leg if you keep that up," Celia chortled happily, reveling in the sordid tale her husband was spinning to their college friend.

Ignoring his wife, Jim continued; "I placed a couple pillows beneath her back, and held her hips up by her bare ass and buried my face in her pussy." Jim flapped his tongue against the front of his mouth and made a blathering sound, dismissing Celia's comments about the details he knew she wanted him to provide to Paul.

"When Celia grabbed my boxers by the waistband, I set her down and let her remove them. I was fully erect, energized with all the excitement of the evening. She climbed on top of me and pressed my cock slowly but deeply into her."

"Jim!" Celia protested weakly.

"I began what I like to call my slow fuck special. You should have heard her: 'Oh, baby ... that's soooo fucking good!' and I recall laughing and telling her I was glad she liked it." Celia moaned.

"When she was able to talk again she cooed, 'Slow down Baby, let's make this last.'

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yeah ... just like that. Mmmm, say, baby, what do you think of Joanna?"

"Joanna? Why I think she's eminently fuckable."

Celia interrupted him to say, "Really? Eminently fuckable?"

"And that's when the door flew open and Joanna barged into the room, yelling, "I can't take anymore of this shit! I'm fuckable? Eminently fuckable? What the fuck does that mean?

"It's a compliment, Jo ... a compliment!" Celia said. "Lighten up a little."

Joanna stood there confronting Celia and Jim, wearing a long burgundy sweater that had seen better days and with the belt holding it closed coming looser with every breath she took. It was obvious that Joanna had had more to drink in her room after coming home.

"He thinks I'm easy?" she said and turned on me. "You think I'm easy? You two fucking like cats on a hot tin roof with me suffering in the next room! 'Cause if he ... if you two think I am I swear to God I'll ... I'll..."

Celia burst out with: "Fuckable means you look good enough to fuck. Guys love that. I know Jim here can easily picture you in bed with him when I'm not around."

"Hey, I can picture that scene with you around too, Celia," I said happily since I was half stoned and half drunk. "You know my motto, a threesome for me-sum."

Celia jumped in to add, "He can easily imagine you in his bed with him. You must know all this, Joanna. You know you're absolutely gorgeous."

"Yeah right, Celia. I'm tall, dark and blessed with my big girls here!" She ended up cupping her modest sized breasts which were managing to remain confined in the sweater despite the ever loosening of the belt holding it closed.

"Hey, c'mon Joanna ... Jim and me were getting it on. What we say and how we say it ... well we're not accountable for what we say to each other in the heat ... you know?"

"Yeah, like tricking me into watching you jerking him off under the table, while I was stuck with the dud of duds in Ken."

"But how were we to know ...?" I sputtered, Jim said chagrined at finding himself in such a situation.

Joanna hooted and gave Jim the finger. Then she turned to me, said: "Maybe he was just a pawn in your hands, Celia, but you lured me under the table. You knew he was about to cum. You ... you ...you ..."

I nodded and picked up my drink and finished it off in one long swallow. "So what can we do for you ... I mean, now that you're out here with your girls hanging out for my man Jim to admire. You want to join in? Make it a threesome?"

"WHAT? Threesome? Me ... You ... Him? WHOOP DE DOO!"

All three started laughing at her antics.

Joanna's sweater slipped off her right shoulder.

Jim ogled her tits.

I was still laughing, possibly even harder than before. Joanna shrugged the sweater off and stood nude before us. "Like it, motherfuckers?"

"Yeah," Jim crowed. "I like it! Hell, I fucking love it!"

"Easy Jimbo, you don't wanna be the one starts the fire," I cautioned my man.

"Like my girls, Jimmmbo?" Joanna inquired, deliberately dragging his name out.

Jim nodded automatically before even thinking about what he was doing.

"Well, la-de-da if I'm so fuckable what are you waiting for? Right Celia? I am soooo fuckable baby!"

Joanna was holding each breast as though it were a melon and jiggled them both up and down in a titty dance all her own.

"You go girl!" Celia yelled. She was obviously thrilled that Joanna had decided to join us in a threesome.

Mockingly Joanna drawled, "You can fuck me here," She ran her hands up the inside of her leg and it came to rest snugly on her crotch area. Throwing us a lascivious look over her shoulder, she crowed, "Or you can even," she drew her words with a devilish hint in her voice, "fuck me here!"

She illustrated her point by leaning over the side of the couch; legs splayed open and offered up her ass to the two of us in a mock sexual come hither fashion.

"Oh, yeah baby!" Jim hollered imitating Mike Myers portraying Austin Powers.

He must have inspired her or something, Paul, because she raised her head from the couch, looked over at us, saw our legs still entwined on the bed and slowly began humping the top of the couch.

"Oh, God!" Celia screeched as she rocked with laughter.

"Look at your man, Cel," Joanna said with a lewd grin. "He's got a hard on for me!"

"Still laughing Celia asked, "How do you know it's because of you?"

Continuing her mocking of the sex act, Joanna cooed, "'Cause I'm fuckin' this couch here and you and I both know Jimbo loves porn and I'm puttin' on a porno show, ain't I?"

Jim started to get up from the bed. Seeing his erection swaying to and fro, I put a hand on his hip to keep him on the bed.

"What?" Joanna poutingly said in a slightly slurred voice. "You gonna come over here and spank me, 'cause I'm being bad?"

"Maybe," I said flatly, only to have my butt pinched by my loving wife, Celia here."

"You want to spank me baby? I'm sooo shocked!!" Joanna cackled, and added, "You're a very naughty boy, and Celia's a naughty girl ... I'd tell you how naughty but then I'd be just as naughty as she is."

"Now that comment gave me something to think about, but what followed put it on the back burner for a time. See, Joanna raised a hand to her own ass and began spanking herself across her right cheek, yowling, "I'll save you the trouble of spanking me. I'll do it myself!"

'SLAP—SLAP!' "Oh, yeah baby! Oh, yeah that feels sooo good!"

"We've seen enough, Joanna, put the sweater back on," Celia said, still giggling at her friend's drunken antics. She stopped spanking herself; but resumed humping the couch more energetically than before.

"If you get that couch wet you pay to have it cleaned, Joanna!" Celia yelled, but there was a gleam in her eye that said otherwise.

Joanne moved up so as to straddle the couch and moaned as she fucked the back of the couch.

"Celia, she's fuckin' the furniture ... you gonna stop her?" I remember saying. Remember Celia?"

"She is, she is!" Celia said, "She's gonna fuck the furniture! Oh God!"

"Oh, yes! Oh, yes!" Joanna's pert tits flounced up and down as she pumped and ground away at the couch. We looked on, laughing and playing along with her sex show.

Arching her back, Joanna rode the couch like a cowboy trying to reel in a bucking bull. I don't know why exactly, but Celia and me lost it and egged her on, you know?"

Paul shook his head and mirth filled his eyes while he listened to his long time friends.

"Then," Celia snorted and said, "Her face was flushed bright red as she moaned and ooohed and aaahed, "Oh yes! Fuck yes!"

"She suddenly stopped grinding and then collapsed on top of the couch before rolling off and landing half on the cushions and half on the floor as Jim rushed to her side.

"One of you better fuck me right now, or else!" Joanna crowed drunkenly as Jim helped her to her feet.

"She never said what the 'or else' meant and we didn't ask," Celia said, giving Paul a wink.

Jim resumed the commentary, saying, "She also said 'One of you,' as I recall, Celia; so I assumed the two of you had played around some in my absence. Anyways, she went straight for my dick."

"She did!" Celia added as if needing to corroborate his statement.

"I was too stunned to react," Jim said.

"The only way you'd react to that would be to hold it for her just in case she dropped it," Paul said and everyone laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jim only slightly chagrined at Paul's remark said, and then continued: ""She had hold of his cock, examining it slowly as if she'd never really seen one close up before. She didn't hurt me though," Jim added.

Celia laughed. "It was funny, you know? Oh not so much for poor Jim--he was stunned silly. But looking at her handle my man's penis and knowing I was the one responsible for the situation."

"This is a really good story, guys. But tell me, is Joanna going to jump out of the closet and scare me to death or something?"

Celia had a fit of laughing and Jim joined her. When they calmed down, Paul looked at both of them in turn, waiting for a response. Celia began gnawing at a cuticle, so it was Jim who answered Paul. "We umm, didn't mention that umm, she ... that is umm, Joanna's coming over here."

"Any minute now," Celia added as her hands fluttered in front of her as if to ward off a blow that never came.

"What the fuck! Are you guys' matchmakers now?"

"Well, we didn't know you were coming by!" Celia said. "Anyways, it seems like a good idea, right? I mean, you being cooped up with your typewriter in that small cold room for so long," Celia nervously gnawed at a cuticle.

Jim nodded in support of his wife's statement.

"So tell me Jim," Paul said, wordlessly accepting the fact that he now had a blind date for the evening. "Did you get it on with Joanna?"

"Oh yeah," Jim replied dreamily.

"Did he ever!" Celia added emphatically, but only after I taught her how to suck cock."

"Joanna, what the fuck? That was uncalled for!" Jim said raising his voice an octave.

Ignoring her husband's protest, Celia went on, "I don't think he minded her handling him in the slightest, but I do think he was scared shitless about what I'd think," Joanna laughed.

"At any rate, I assured Joanna that it was all right with me, not that she cared one way or the other, I mean, she already had his cock in hand. It was what she was going to do with it that only she knew.

"Anyways, Joanna found the courage to look me in the eye, he said. 'I'm so fucking turned on,' she said softly.

"Not understanding the extent of her 'problem.' I quipped: So what's the problem? You have the solution in hand."

"I don't know what to do!" Joanna said, and let Jim's dick go and began to cry. "I felt like shit, you know?" Celia said. "I mean, here we were tormenting the poor girl night after night, and then we find her a date and I trick her into seeing me jerk my man off while she's got a guy who's absolutely clueless when it comes to women."

"So, what'd you do?" Paul asked kindly.

"I decided to help her get Kevin or some other guy; and I'd use my man as bait, or whatever you want to call it."

"How'd you feel about that, Jim?"

Jim gave Paul an impish smile and said, "I felt used, I tell you I really felt used."

"Oh fuck you!" Celia said and laughed on seeing that we were kidding her.

Paul relented and still laughing wave a hand at Celia and said, "So come on, what happened?"

"Well, she'd never given a guy a blowjob, for one. I asked her why she hadn't and found that on each of the three times she'd gotten laid, it was quick, you know. Like in the backseat of an old car; up against the wall of a dirty vestibule in her apartment; and lastly, in the toilet of a club with a guy too drunk to find her pussy."

"I gave her permission to use Jim to experiment with and she cried even more. She was terrified of doing it wrong.

Celia noticed Paul's bulging erection and laughed lewdly. "You guys are all the same; you'll just have to wait until she gets here, Paul. Anyways, she gave me this pleading look and I said, "Kneel down with me, Joanna."

"What good is praying gonna do me? I've been praying for years!"

"We're not going to pray, we're going to suck Jim's cock!"

"What?"

"You heard me, Joanna, we and I mean you and me are going to blow my man here. We'll take turns and do it together."

She nodded in understanding and knelt down alongside me. I reached out and took Jim's manhood in hand and tugged him over to us.

Jim laughed and pointing at his wife said to Paul, "Then for some God forsaken reason she tells her: "Do as I do and as I say, and you too can have a beautiful cock like this for yourself, Joanna."

Paul was laughing along with Jim while Celia frowned. "So now its public knowledge that you are possessed of a ... what did Celia call it? A beautiful cock. So Celia, what exactly makes a man's penis beautiful?"

Joanna couldn't believe the conversation, "You're serious?" she asked.

"We are serious. You want to help us out?" Paul said, trying to keep his face solemn.

"Fuck you guys!" she replied.

Jim laughed, "As I recollect, Celia went down on me and Joanna had her face plastered alongside Celia's. 'It's just a cock, Joanna. One I adore, but still, it's just a cock. You could have one of these every day of the week if you just looked in a guy's direction!' "

"Celia gave me an enticing stroke. Both Joanna and I gulped, probably for different reasons, but all the same ... our reactions gave Celia a satisfied grin, and I began to realize that showing me off to her best friend was making her as horny as it was making me!"

"I couldn't believe my ears when Celia said, 'See Jo, every time you even glance at it, I can feel it twinge with excitement.'"

Celia cackled lewdly, signaling Paul that she was about as randy as one can get and knew he would be getting laid in short order, whether it was Joanna or Celia he was getting laid and possibly by both of them before the night was over.

"She said ... she said," Celia crowed, 'It's not like I've never seen a cock!' I know, sweetie," I replied, trying to calm her down. "But have you ever really taken time to just look at one?"

In silence, Joanna seemed to concede that I knew her all too well and although she was refusing to look at us it was obvious she wasn't about to walk away.

"Look, Joanna," I continued, "How often do you get this chance? We're all friends. Unless you really take the time to get to know what a man's body looks like, how do you expect to take control of it? Now I'm very happy to show the finer points of his cock to you; probably the way your Mom or some friend showed you how to use a mirror to examine the parts of your pussy that you couldn't see easily. And--and you sure don't see him complaining-so what's the problem?"

Joanna didn't have an answer to any of these questions but seemed to be searching for one.

"Look," I persisted, "if you watch what I do now, I promise that you'll be so ready that Kevin or whoever, won't know what hit him!"

Joanna pretended like she didn't hear the suggestion at all. "Oh come on," she protested. "I just met Kevin. I have no idea if he even likes me."

"Bullshit!" I yelled, more frustrated with her than ever. "That's my whole point. It's obvious to everyone but you that he's sitting at home thinking about you right now. Hell, I'd even be willing to bet that he's jerking off imagining you naked next to him!"

Jim interrupted to yell, "Celia emphasized her point by yanking on my cock! I couldn't help but groan at the sudden action of her hand. And Joanna couldn't help but gape."

"Ah, now that's the idea," I said approvingly, continuing to slide my hand around his dick to hold Joanna's attention. "Now, I don't want to hear anymore from you. I'm going to show you how to give a blow job."

"Well that was fine with me," Jim said, "Even so, the room went silent. Was Celia serious? Did she really have the audacity to let Joanna watch?"

"Joanna, somewhat sobered by the recent turn of events, burst out laughing, thinking that Celia was joking. But Celia's sly grin said otherwise. "Come here," Celia insisted with a smile. And she pushed Joanna back against the wall.

"After all of Joanna's resistance, I entirely expected her to march out of the room at this point. And it seemed she was gonna do just that ... until she saw Celia hold out a welcoming hand. To my shock, Joanna took her hand and let Celia pull her closer!

"I cannot believe I am going along with this..." she muttered, rolling her eyes in surrender.

"You'll be glad you did," Celia said reassuringly. Though, when she cast me a wink, I wasn't sure if she had been talking to Joanna or to me.

"There I was-naked, against the wall with only an enticing inkling of what Celia and her best friend intended to do with me. They both looked so sexy and the tension between Joanna and me was wound ever more tightly when Celia dropped to her knees. Once she was at eye level with my one-eyed monster, she grinned at me with eagerness I was quite familiar with—I was going to get my blowjob!"

She was still holding Joanna's hand, and it took only a slight tug for Joanna's weak knees buckle and collapse alongside her.

"Okay," Celia smiled, "now I just want you to look at it... Don't worry; it's not going to bite!"

Jim continued the story: "Joanna gave an uncomfortable chuckle, but I was happy to see that there was a giddy school-girlishness behind her trepidation. For the first time, she looked up at me with a little smile. It was a cute gesture, as if to ask permission for her eyes to go prying, and I'm sure that my smile gave away just how excited I was to let her. So, with a lump in her throat, Joanna lowered her eyes.

"The grin on Celia's face was almost sinister as she watched Joanna's eyes grow wide with wonder. Right from the start, there was such intensity to Joanna's curious gaze that I felt a shiver go up my spine. With that, my cock gave a little twitch, and Joanna couldn't help but giggle with surprise.

"Hmm, looks like he's enjoying this," Celia said snarkily. Joanna was beginning to relax.

"Smirking at her friend, Celia reached forward and placed her fingers around the base of my shaft. My breath faltered as her touch lit up my senses. Joanna seemed impressed that such a little gesture could get such a big response. Celia smiled at me, bidding me to be patient a while longer, as she went on to explain the basics to Joanna. 'This is the head. And under here, you'll find it to be very sensitive...'