Help Me, Sister

Ash grinned widely, "I found it by smell. Tons and tons of sugar can't be hidden." She put her hands on her feet, twitching a little as her fingers idly caressed her toes, "I guess Mom told you I go on sugar binges."

"Better than drinking binges. I had a summer of that, that I don't want to repeat." She looked around again, then pulled open the freezer and pulled out a frozen pizza. "Looks like we have to do the easy thing for now until I learn what's what in here. Or get someone else to cook."

"Don't look at me. I've burned enough parts of my body. If it takes heat to make it, I pass. I just can't seem to handle the stove."

Maolisa prepared the oven, then leaned against the counter beside Aislin while waiting for it to preheat. "Mom thinks that's just because you can't settle down. She says you get really nervous and jittery when you start trying to cook."

Aislin shrugged, "Maybe, but it doesn't seem to get any better with practice. Mom tried and tried to get me to cook so she could rest after work and I just couldn't get it. Something ALWAYS goes wrong."

Mail put her hand on Ash's hands over her feet, waited for her shudders to pass, then caressed her lightly, smiling softly, "I know. Mom gave me lots and lots of warnings."

Blushing, Aislin looked down at her sister's hand covering her own, pleased to see it looked almost as childish as hers, including the short nails, although Mail's looked trimmed rather than bitten. "Like I live in my own world, unconnected to reality?"

"She mentioned that. Several times. Forcefully." Maolisa grinned at her sister, "just don't bring any dragons here, the house is big but not that big." The oven signaled it was preheated and Maolisa pulled the pizza from the box and put it inside, setting a timer. She returned to caressing her sister's hands, giving her a tender smile when she she shuddered. "If I give you enough attention, will you stop being so nervous?"

"Probably for you, but it doesn't always work. Most people stay scary no matter how much time I spend with them, but once in a while I find someone I can get used to." She smiled shyly at her sister, "I'm expecting you'll be one of them, since I wasn't scared of you before." She reached out and caressed Maolisa's cheek with her fingertips, then let them drift over her lips, biting her own when Maolisa kissed her fingers.

"School must have been really rough."

Nodding, Aislin shifted her bum on the counter, "They tried to make space and rules for getting near, but with the push to get handicapped people mainstreamed, they wanted to try to force me to be with the regular students. I think I missed about three quarters of the year cause of not being able to face them." She shrugged and put her hand back on her feet along with the other hand. "It wasn't so bad, though. There were girls that liked to try to take care of me, over powered mother instincts I think, and they would make people stay away as much as they could. Teachers were the worst. They seemed to think they could just order me to not panic." She unfolded her legs and slid off the counter as the pizza timer sounded, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Maolisa was looking over her body as the kimono pulled up for a moment when it caught on the edge of the counter.

Maolisa found a steak knife and cut the pizza into wedges, then watched as Aislin tore a slice into small bits with her fingers, shaking her hand every once in a while as it got too hot. She offered the knife to her, but Ash pulled back as if afraid of it, and Mail moved it away. "You don't like knives?"

"Mom didn't let me near really sharp ones. She was afraid if I had a tantrum I might hurt someone really bad by accident. She made such a big deal out of it I guess it made me leery of even touching one." She smiled sheepishly, "although I never hit anyone during a tantrum. I yell bad words and bang things and stomp my feet and cry and sometimes just scream." She fidgeted with her pizza, now ripped into bite size pieces, pushing it around and occasionally picking up a piece to chew for a long time. As she ate and kept her attention on pizza pieces she seemed to relax a bit.

Thinking about her sister's control problems made Maolisa a little uncomfortable. Not so much out of fear of what she would do, but the discomfort of feeling sorry for her when she knew that was the last thing Ash would want. Her father tried to blame Aislin's issues on attention seeking and 'being a baby', but her mother and the doctors said Ash was severely autistic and had to work really hard to avoid freaking out over every little thing. Mail was hoping she could give Ash a place to be herself with few outside disruptions to trigger problems, since Mail herself was autistic, just not so severely. One of her first steps would be to learn Ash's rituals, like tearing her food into tiny bites, and not make her uncomfortable about them. She watched her older but smaller sister eat, a little flutter in her stomach at observing how childlike she could be.

When Aislin was finished eating she stood and walked away from the table, leaving scraps of pizza behind. Maolisa got her attention with a little cough, then pointed at the bits of food. "Hey, Ash, could you get those? The trash is that flap under the sink like they have in fast food places."

Aislin looked at the scraps with a wrinkle in her brow, as if confused, then smiled, "oh, yes. Trash." She giggled nervously, blushing a little, "um, you might need to tell me a few times about picking up. Mom wasn't consistent and, well, I dunno if you know, but it's hard for me to remember what things to do if it changes too much." She looked down at the floor and fidgeted a little before saying softly, "like if you want me to pick up after eating then I have to do it every time, not just sometimes when you don't feel like it. Or you can ask each time you want me to, if you don't want it to be a regular thing."

Maolisa carefully approached and wrapped her arms around Aislin, hugging her gently, "I know. Remember, we did live together for many years before the divorce. I know about routines and how evil change is." She pulled her head back to try to look into Ash's eyes, forgetting for a moment that Ash never looked a person in the eyes, "I have my own, you know, although I try to fight them," she smirked, "not very successfully, but I try." She released her sister from the hug, "picking up stuff from the table is one we both need, unless we decide we can handle having a housekeeper, and that wouldn't be until after we get accustomed to the place so we still need it for now."

Aislin wiggled out of Maolisa's arms, her body starting to tremble from being so close, then cheerfully picked up the remains of lunch and disposed of them, asking, "so what do we do with the trash when it's full?"

Opening the cabinet door under the flap, Maolisa showed her the trash basket, "Just take this out the back door, turn right, there's a fenced area on the side of the house. Inside is the big trash things. Dump it in there and bring it back. The big things are emptied by the trash company on Monday mornings so we don't have to worry about that part of it."

Once the kitchen had been cleaned up Aislin took off her kimono and handed it to Maolisa, "Here, you can have this back. I'll get something of my own after I have a shower." She headed out to the hallway and up the inside stairs to the third floor, then found her room at the opposite end of the hall from the master bedroom. While it was further from Maolisa's room than she wanted, the other options didn't suit her tastes as well. She liked the dark greens and browns of carpet and wallpaper, and the big four-poster bed with matching bedding planted in the center of the room instead of against a wall. When she had first seen it she giggled and told Mail it was perfect, giving her a chance to fall out of bed in any direction without being restricted by walls. Sections of the walls had dark wood panels that had turned out to be doors behind which were cabinets, closets, and drawers, with more storage space than Aislin could imagine ever needing, and one led to a large bathroom.

Maolisa watched her sister until she turned into the stairway and out of sight, smiling to herself. She'd wanted to have her little older sister back for a couple of years, but her father had no tolerance for handicapped people and would go out of his way to cause them trouble. That she was his daughter only made it worse. At the same time he forbid Mail from contacting her, claiming Ash had abandoned the family when he sent her to her mother. Winning the lottery with the ticket he had given her as her only present for her eighteenth birthday had allowed her to get out from under his 'insanity'.

Aislin stretched out in the tub, which was more than large enough for her to lie down in without bending in any way, and turned on the shower, relaxing in her artificial rain. She pictured her younger sister as she looked when Ash took her towel and sighed deeply, then took care of the physical tensions it raised. After resting a few minutes she washed, sitting under the running shower. While she'd never had any problems in a bath, her mother had always been afraid she would have some kind of attack (her mother didn't really understand autism) and wouldn't let her have the water more than a couple of inches deep. Aislin didn't like standing in the shower, though, as she was afraid of losing her balance when touching parts that made her tremble or shudder while washing. So a shower while sitting or lying in the tub was her compromise, although she thought she might have to try a full bath, with deep water, soon. Maybe have Mail sit with her just to be safe, although that might bring up other issues. Aislin blushed as she pictured it, and hurried through the rest of her shower-bath.

Maolisa returned to her room and looked through her drawers until she found some shorts and a t-shirt, then changed clothes. She looked for her flip-flops a minute before remembering Ash wouldn't let her wear them, then put on some tennis shoes, without socks and smirking as she thought about how her father would yell that the shoes would be ruined by her sweat. She was tempted to throw out all her socks just to spite him, but dismissed the silly idea right away. She had enough silly ideas that she hung onto without keeping spiteful ones. Like kissing her sister on the lips. She couldn't recall what had prompted her to pucker, but she was glad Aislin simply returned the kiss without getting all upset. A small sigh escaped as she remembered the soft little lips moving against her mouth. Shaking herself out of introspection, she went through her bathroom to the outside stairs, briefly wondering why the stairs went to the bathroom instead of the bedroom.

The deck outside Aislin's bedroom didn't have a set of stairs leading down, but it was large enough to contain a set of all-weather furniture including a sofa, two lounge chairs, and a small game table with matching chairs and umbrella. Ash stretched out on a lounge chair and dozed, letting the cool breeze raise bumps all over her body and stiffen her nipples. The tightening of her nipples gave her pleasant daydreams but not enough to incite her to actually move, and she fell into a nap.

The afternoon was getting cooler as Maolisa went down the stairs and across the clearing into the forest at a brisk jog. Her intent had been to get exercise by jogging to the dock along the path through the forest but she quickly discovered running a winding, ungraded, narrow dirt path was much more difficult than the paved park paths in a city; the quarter mile trip one way had her completely winded. She found her sister's clothes from the morning dropped haphazardly around the wooden planks. She looked around for shoes but didn't find any, so assumed she hadn't worn any even at first. Mail wondered how she could have such pretty little feet the way she mistreated them, walking across any surface in her path without shoes, regardless of how rough and torn up it might be. She picked up Ash's shorts, t-shirt, and underpants, looking twice at the underpants, since her mother had told her it was near impossible to get Aislin to wear underclothes. She shrugged and started the walk back up to the house.

Waking up was always a slow process for Aislin. It would take her several minutes to separate dream from reality when waking in her own bed. Waking in a new place, on a lounge chair outdoors, she found it difficult to pull herself the rest of the way awake. A soft hand caressing her chest, brushing lightly over a nipple as it moved up her neck, then cupped her chin, made it more dreamlike. She imagined she heard her sister's soft voice whispering her name, then again. Gradually it occurred to her that she might not be imagining it. She opened her eyes as the soft hand slid lightly down over her throat to rest gently on the center of her chest. She felt her cheeks flush as her nipples hardened at the touch. She looked over to Maolisa and saw no sign that she saw anything wrong.

Sitting on the seat beside her sister and leaning over, Maolisa touched her lightly, trying to wake her. She wasn't sure what kind of touch during waking would set off one of Ash's downward spiraling reactions. She whispered her name, then bent her face down and kissed her sister's lips lightly, then again, when she found them slightly parted, inhaling through her mouth to capture the candy-flavored breath, smiling when she figured out the flavor was spearmint. She let her tongue touch her sister's lips, wetting them, then lifted her head and caressed the pretty face as she whispered Aislin's name again. As Ash blinked slowly awake Mail blushed lightly. When no bad reaction started, Maolisa let her hand slide back to Ash's chest, trying to avoid brushing the nipple again. She didn't want her sister thinking she was trying to take advantage of her in her sleep.

"I went down to the dock and found your clothes. Did you have any shoes? I didn't find any." Maolisa continued speaking in the soft voice she'd used to wake Aislin. It was her natural tone, but she had gotten into a habit of trying to speak louder, after being told over and over that speaking softly was a sign of weakness.

"I haven't worn shoes since graduation. School was the only time I really needed to," Aislin replied in a matching soft voice. Aislin had only developed a habit of matching her tone to the tone around her, since she didn't really grasp the nuances of changing tone of voice. Mail made a note to herself to speak softly around Ash, so she could hear that softer voice more.

"What about stores and restaurants?"

Aislin grinned, "You would be surprised what you can get away with when people think of you as 'that freak kid'. Clerks would help find stuff for me to get me out of the store faster, rather than fuss at me for being barefoot." She paused only a moment before looking away shyly, her face flushing a brighter pink, "and I can't eat in restaurants. I don't remember the last time I was in one for more than just picking up a take out meal. I hate them."

Maolisa reached to stroke her sister's cheek comfortingly, but caught herself before making the contact that might trigger a panic or tantrum. "I don't usually go to them. They're uncomfortable when you're alone, and Dad didn't want to be seen in public with a daughter, it might hurt what slim chance he had of getting a date. Not that he ever got a date that I know of, but in his mind he's a ladies man."

Aislin giggled, trying to picture the drunken bully she remembered playing a ladies man. "He must have an even richer fantasy life than me!" Maolisa joined her in giggling.

"Anyway, I put your dirty clothes in the utility room beside the kitchen." She chewed her lip, then blurted out, "I found panties down there, but Mom said you don't wear them. Did you start and not tell her?"

Ash giggled again, "No, I just wore them like, um, don't laugh! Like a shield, sorta. A thing to do to feel safer." She looked away again, "I get scared sometimes, and little things like that help me think I'm doing something to be safer, and that helps me not panic."

Mail waited until Ash was turned where she could see her move, then caressed her shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. Aislin's hand covering hers and her mouth turning up into a smile let her know Aislin understood the intent.

"Oh, okay. Well, they're in the utility room, too. Do you know how to do laundry, or is there a reason you can't?"

Shaking her head side to side, Aislin smiled, "Nope, no reason not to. One of the parts of normal life Mom let me do for myself. Although she always checked to make sure I didn't forget the soap or to turn the machines on."

"Oh good. The more you can do yourself the less need we'll have for housekeepers or anything," Maolisa smiled, "and the less of that we need the less people you have to see. Except me. You have to see me. A lot."

Aislin took her sister's hand and kissed the back of it lightly, "I like that part. Seeing you, I mean. The part about housekeepers and people, well, the less the better. I could be happy going a year of no other people right now. I still haven't got over graduation and that was months ago."

Maolisa looked up and down her sister's body, hoping it looked casual, then stood up and smiled down to her, "I've got paperwork to take care of. My office is on the second floor beside the library if you need anything." She started to turn toward the door, then paused as she felt Ash's fingers trail over her thigh, then turned back, "Did you want an office or a computer room or something? Or is the library all you need?"

Shrugging and looking at where her fingers still rested lightly on her sister's thigh, Aislin smirked, "I don't have a computer or anything like that. Mom was afraid I wouldn't use one and we didn't have the money to spare. I'm not even sure I'd have a use for one, although I've wanted to try making pictures." She shrugged again, "Mostly I just read, so the library suits me, and I love all the wood and leather."

"Leather?"

Grinning, Aislin tapped Maolisa's thigh, "The book bindings? You didn't notice most of them are real leather bindings? And the seat covers? The desk blotter?"

Blushing brightly, Mail turned back to the door to go in the house. "Oh, I wasn't thinking of leather in that context."

Aislin watched her sister's bum sway as she left the deck, thinking she'd like more information about the context Mail had been thinking. She blushed as several images ran through her mind, then forced herself to think about getting up and doing something. With a small effort she pulled herself up from the lounge chair and went to look in her closet, knowing Mail had added considerably to her wardrobe when stocking the room. After just a couple of minutes she found a deep green, very light, satin dressing gown that fit loosely and had a little sash to hold it together so Ash wouldn't have to think about it, which was a requirement since Ash wouldn't think about it. Some form of clothing was needed as Aislin was heading for the library and sitting on leather chairs while naked was not comfortable after a while.

Maolisa dropped into her desk chair and kicked off her tennis shoes. She grinned lightly, thinking how Aislin was already corrupting her: in the past, she didn't take her shoes off just to be comfortable. She wiggled her toes, thought about how they could use some nail polish, then pulled her chair up to her desk and moved the mouse to wake up the computer. As she worked she kept finding herself rubbing her feet on the carpet and shook her head with a smirk, realizing why Ash was always moving her feet.

The desk chair in the library was a large antique, matching the desk. Made of dark, heavy wood, the seat, back, and arms had thick, soft, leather-covered padding in the important places. Aislin leaned back and put her feet up on the edge of the desk, then pushed a little, smiling as she found the chair was too heavy to be accidentally tipped over that way. She put her feet back on the floor, enjoying the feel of the luxurious carpet, and stood up to look more closely at the books.