All Comments on 'Her Name Was Alice'

by Myths

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
It Was Hard to Follow

The story started out being told by Bob in the first person. Then, all of a sudden and without warning, we learn Alice's thoughts from a third-person perspective. Then, Alice is telling the story, again from a first-person perspective. Then, it's back to Bob in the first person.

The basic concept of the story is somewhat intriguing. However, your execution of that concept leaves a lot to be desired. Pick a perspective and stick with it. If you want to have multiple characters each telling us about their thoughts and attitudes, then take care to specify that another character has picked up the tale. Had you done a better job of that, I would have given you more stars.

oldpantythiefoldpantythiefalmost 2 years ago

The story was good but the switching between Bob and Alice was confusing at first and distracted from the flow of the story reading. For those of us with panty fetish, it would have been nice if you had described her gift to Bob a little more in detail besides just "warm, damp, no more than damp, soaked".

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