All Comments on 'Her New Toy'

Please google what quotation marks are.

I quite liked this story. Good progression and payoff for a brief story. I generally don't enjoy 1 page stories, but if you write more like this, then I'll greedily lap it up.

Do take out some more time for editing though. There were a few mistakes here and there, and in prose you'll want to use quotation marks rather than dashes for dialogue. If you need help, find someone who can fix these for you.

Good story especialy for this category. But you should have the son worshiping the mother. That would be so much hotter

You should take more time with each scene, have more dialogue...try to make it a bit more natural...it just progressed from her hitting on her, to sex in a matter of seconds...Be more descriptive, and take your time. One page is way too short. The son should have come downstairs again unexpectedly, and caught them...ultimately joining in. Perhaps that can be part 2...

Thanks for the tips and the feedbak everyone, I'm used to writing for a game but it's different from writing an erotic story from zero, I'll try to use better quotation marks and give more details on my next stories and of course, write larger stories and make sure that there are no mistakes on it, I have a way bigger story complete but I want to make sure that there are no mistakes on it.

Good story, but short

For me this was just a quick read and it was just holly carp with the pacing. It just felt like you were running through just wanting to get the story out. It was certainly a good effort. I suggest you take more time and add some depth to the story. Like you could got a little more into each character. Be more descriptive on what's happening over all add some more to flush it out. Keep writing!

I would love to see more of her conquest or maybe years later she knocks up her sons wife heheh.

6th grade reading level.

Apparently Jade must have resented her Son to basically seduce and fuck her son's girlfiends behind his back,thereby turning them into her own lovers to fuck anytime she wants.But why would a Mother betray her son like that.

Unless Jade was so eat up with longing to have her son as her lover but couldn't bring herself to tell him she wants him,so instead she takes out her frustrations on her son's girlfriends since she can't be with him.I think the author should write another chapter and have Jade confess to her son that she wants her son as her lover and have him ditch all those college airheads and be with his Mom so they can have a long and happy life together where she fucks her son's virgin asshole to show him how much she loves her son so much,that would be beautiful to read.

The level of apathy the son exudes is almost impressive. Some might think his mom banging his girlfriends stems from a resentment or restrained lust, but he seems like he wouldn’t care even if he knew. Besides, it’s explicitly says he has a weekly turnover for girlfriends. If anything his mom is doing them a favor by fucking them some more...

Worse. No Details. Rushed like a Toilet. No Deeper Descriptions. Totally Emotionless. Skipped Scenes. She is under the Table, suddenly she swallowed all of the entire Mothers Cock?!?!?. Makes no Sense.

Cold Story. No Feelings. Waste of time to read this. Bad Writing. More a Nutshell Bone Construction. Don’t continue writing.

To rushed and could have more detail and more chapters as well this seems u didn’t really bother much