All Comments on 'Her Slave – Her Brother'

Maybe he should just tell Mommy that his sister is a bitch. I'm sure she learned her pathetic behavior somewhere. Or maybe Daddy can beat the crap out of her and throw out the trash along with this sad story. You really thought this was worth posting? Not a single interesting or entertaining thing in it. Two thoroughly detestable characters not worth reading about.

Sorry it wasn't something you enjoyed - others seemed to have. Good luck finding the stories you do like.

Regards,

NNM

I loved this sooooo much. Two of my biggest fetishes: incest and BDSM. It was absolutely great and I got so fucking wet from it. Keep writing and don't let those nasty comments get to you. :) loved it

Please please please, stick to one tense when writing. Swapping from past to present and back again so often is distracting, and quite frankly painful to read. Even more so when it ruins what would have been an otherwise good story.

And in future I'd try to avoid using present tense altogether. With the sole exception of in dialogue (where appropriate), it is so awkward to read, and detracts from the story. Not to mention that present tense make nearly no sense for most stories; after all, you are recounting an event that has already occured.

Just my two cents, but there is a reason no bestseling author writes this way.

Thanks for your comment. I was experimenting, adding a back story while keeping within a single story. Writing it was harder than reading it, I can assure you!

And I will agree that past tense is not only easier to read - it's far easier to write.

Luckily I've no interest in going 'pro' - I do this for grins - but I do thank you for the feedback.

It was wonderful don't let anyone tell you it wasn't just because it not there thing means nothing

I have mixed feelings about this. I don't think she was loving at all, for a straight ballbusting/bdsm story it was great, but the one line about her lovingly caressing his face, that kind of ruined the story for me. If that was left out it woulda been 5/5 but at no other point did it feel like their was any love involved. Especially when the cane was brought out. He obviously didn't want it at first before she coerced him, he wasn't even able to use safewords either, but she ignored his unwillingness and that was just a no no between loving partners. At least to me.

Loved whatb the sister did to her brother & the way she was dressed & the thoughts she had of him!!!!!

Oh wow!!! So hot