All Comments on 'He's In Love... Ch. 01'

I look forward to the next chapter. Please continue.

Description is good--and nice. But something is lacking, and that is emotion. What are the characters feeling? Why are they there? And the sentence structure is often weak. Consider this: "He loved her ass, it was so firm." If you do not see what is wrong, I assure you that a publisher will.

And this: "as his hands wondered from the nape of her neck down her back...." Remarkable hands; yes?