Hidden Love Ch. 01

"What?" I looked over to her at the kitchen. "You know what that phrase means, right?"

"Yeah."

"Try not to use it?" I said as I switched the television to the app that was installed. "Especially, when saying it to your cousin."

She set the clean bowls and containers into the drying rack and looted the cupboards for snacks. With arms full of snacks and beers in hand, she made her way back to the living room. I noticed how she glided across the floor with grace. Her movements were never wasted unless she wanted to be dramatic. My eyes locked onto her silky legs. She handed me a beer and sat down next to me. "I used the phrase for its literal meaning, not the meaning that boys have when they have a girl around and intend on sex."

"Duh..."

Carey rolled her eyes, "I want to watch something scary."

"Do you think you can handle that?"

She looked over to me with a puzzled look.

"I remembered that time you wet your pants when we watched Friday the 13^th."

She rolled her eyes, "Matt, I was seven!"

I twisted the cap from my beer and shrugged, "Hey, tough-guy, it still happened."

"Might I remind you, you forced me to watch that movie. It gave me nightmares for days. I had to sleep with the lights on and that little souvenir baseball bat you got me." Carey exclaimed as she poured some cheese puffs into a bowl. "My god, I remember how tired I was."

"...still happened." I remarked as I surfed through the horror category on Netflix. "I just don't need you wetting the couch."

Carey punched me on the arm. It was jokingly, but there was some definite force behind her punch. "Pick the movie, jerk!"

I winced and rubbed the spot that she had punched. She looked over concerned that she may have hurt me. "Ouch," I said.

"Did I actually hurt you?" she asked.

"No, but it stings."

"Really?"

I nodded.

She leaned over and moved my hand away from the spot she punched. She kissed the spot softly and rubbed it with her hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you that hard."

"It's ok." I said nervously and shook off the blush that had invaded my face. I found a pretty scary movie and clicked 'play'.

"Yes!" She exclaimed giddily as she shook about in excitement next to me.

"Hey." I said.

She looked over to me.

"You did wet your pants." I said laughing.

Carey grabbed at the cheese puffs that were in the bowl and stuffed a handful into her mouth as she eyed with me malicious intent. She munched on them angrily as she turned her attention back to the television. My chuckling faded as I leaned back and enjoyed the movie with her. The selection that I made was good. It was littered with jump scares that had Carey nearly throwing her precious bowl of snacks when she was startled. She covered her eyes several times and even stuffed her face into my arm when the scenes got too gory. Whatever it was, the movie was a fun time. The movie ended with the protagonist running away with his girl while the credits scrolled across the screen as the two ran down a dusty road.

"Wow." Carey uttered.

I stretched my arms out while she still sat against me. Carey shifted about giving me some room to move my arms and settled against me. Without thought, I brought my arms back down and one of them wrapped around her. She wiggled into me a little more as she watched the credits.

"Do you think they made it off the island?"

I looked down at her as her head was now pressed against my chest as she set her bowl on my lap. I shrugged, "Who knows? They left the ending pretty open."

I had a theory that stretching was like yawning, they were contagious. As my arm had settled around Carey, she stretched out as well. She leaned into my body and stretched out her shapely legs. The force of her stretch had pushed her head closer to me. I couldn't help myself but take a deep breath and smelled her hair. I closed my eyes as I was comforted with her usual sweet and fruity smell. She settled after her stretch and giggled.

"What's so funny?" I asked as I looked down at her.

"You have your arm around me." She said as her head was at the center of my chest while her firm breasts pressed into me.

"I was stretching."

"Me too." She said smiling.

"I know, so what's your point?"

Carey looked away shyly and shrugged cutely, "No point, I just wanted to say this is nice. If I did this when we were kids, you would have thrown me across the room."

I smiled, "Things change."

"People change."

There was a moment of silence. It wasn't awkward. It was pleasant to be honest. The two of us enjoyed one another as we sat on the couch. The movie finally ended and the screen flickered back to the menu where all the movie thumbnails were displayed. I cleared my throat. "I guess it is time for bed."

"I guess." Carey said slightly disappointed as she pressed a hand on my chest and pushed off slowly. She stood from the couch and stretched once again. She faced the television. The tight t-shirt she wore rose above her waist and exposed her perfect little ass that was covered by her tight shorts. My eyes were locked on her. I couldn't tear them away. Visions of her on my futon from earlier invaded my thoughts like a rush of warm air. My arousal began to stir. "See something you like?"

"Huh?" I asked flustered. "What?"

Carey looked back with a confident smirk on her face as she pointed to my reflection on the television. The normally dark background of Netflix's app had created a mirror-like reflection on the television. She saw everything. She saw my eyes. She saw me look at her. She saw me adjust my arousal. My face burned from shame. My face was hot with embarrassment. She pulled her t-shirt down and grabbed the bowl that was on my lap and walked off to the kitchen. My mind began to race. What was she thinking? What was I going to do? How was I going to say to explain my obvious perversion on my own cousin? What if she told my mother? My heart raced as I heard her wash her bowl. Carey stepped out of the kitchen and looked over to me.

"Matt?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Uh...ok."

"See you soon?"

I nodded, "I got a few things I have to look through for work, but I won't be long."

"Don't make too much noise when you come in." She said as she walked towards our room. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I called out and wanted to smash my face with my tablet. What the fuck was I doing?

*

I spat the foam out of my mouth and stared at myself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. I couldn't believe that Carey caught me looking at her. I grumbled angrily at myself as I gargled before leaving the bathroom. The house was quiet. In fact, everything was quiet. Usually in Brooklyn, there was some sort of street noise, but tonight, there was nothing. My heart pounded like a drum as I walked hesitantly to our room. I saw that the door was ajar again. I reached out and opened it slowly and found that it was nearly pitch black. The only light source was the small strip of LED lights I kept above my desk at its lowest setting. Carey never liked sleeping in complete darkness, especially not after that night we watched Friday the 13^th.

I shut the door behind me gently and stood for a moment taking in her smell in our room. My mother had given me the larger room of the house. She had told me when she purchased the modest home that I was a growing young man and needed the space. I moved over to my bed slowly and tried my best not to make any noise. I heard Carey's gently snoring on the futon that was up against the window of my room and not far from my desk. I was always curious about how she never had the futon in the bed configuration. I eased into my bed and sighed in relief as she didn't stir at all.

"Matt?"

My heart stopped. "Yeah?"

"Just making sure it was you." She said sleepily.

"It's me."

"How do I know it's you?" she asked.

"What?"

"Remember our code when we were kids?" Carey asked as she turned about in the futon to face me.

I sat up slowly, "Yes."

"Say it then."

"Shenanigans," I said as I remembered the code word that she had created with me to make sure I was who I was and not some sort of evil entity that took over my body. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have watched so many horror movies with her when she was younger.

A smile appeared on her face. "Good."

"Go to sleep."

"Ok."

I settled back down into my bed and tried my best to not let my thoughts stir.

"Matt?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any plans tomorrow? You know, with work and all?"

"No. I have a free docket. I do have some things I need to check on before work comes in." I said as I went through my mental checklist. "Why?"

"Can we spend some time together? Like...go to the city? Or maybe we can go to the park?"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

"Cool!" she said happily. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I said thankful that she was finally settling back down to sleep.

I laid there in bed drowning once again in my thoughts about her as her scent wrapped around me like a warm blanket. The visions of her on the futon as she pleasured herself flooded my head. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I turned to my side facing away from Carey hoping that would have helped, but it did not. The digital clock on my nightstand displayed that it was almost two in the morning. I was restless. But, I wasn't the only one. I heard Carey shuffle about on the futon. I heard as she adjusted her blankets and even fluffed her pillow up quietly to find that right position. Was she just as bothered as I was? No. She couldn't have been. I shut my eyes tightly as I tried to will myself to sleep. But, it was no use. I couldn't stop thinking about her. My eyes shot open when I felt my bed shift.

I turned and found Carey slowly climbing into my bed, "What are you doing?"

"I thought you were asleep." she said with her eyes wide open in shock.

"I wasn't, but that still doesn't answer my question." I said as I turned to face her.

"I...uh..."

"Well?"

She continued to move onto my bed. "I wanted to sleep next to you."

"What?"

Carey pulled the covers about and slipped underneath them. "I've been sleeping next to you on and off for a few weeks now. You're such a heavy sleeper, you never felt me climb in and out of your bed."

"What?"

"Come on, Matt, you used to let me sleep next to you when we were younger."

"But, we were kids then."

"So?" Carey asked as she settled into the spot next to me in my bed. "What's the difference now? We are still family. You are still my cousin and I love you."

"But..." I stammered as she pulled herself close to me. Her body was pressed up against mine as she rested her head on my shoulder. "...Carey, we aren't kids anymore. I don't think this is...uh...proper."

"We can debate about it tomorrow." She said. "I just want to be comfortable. That futon sucks."

I shook my head as she pulled me back down onto the bed. I felt Carey huffed and moved about in bed. She adjusted herself and then moved my arm about until it wrapped around her. I was rigid with fear. What was she up to? What was going on? My thoughts slammed into my brain as my cousin was now pressed up against me. I felt a silky leg wrapped around mine.

"Carey..." I said looking down at her.

She looked up with her beautiful eyes and smiled warmly. She leaned in a bit and kissed my chin. "Sleep."

"But..."

"Isn't this more comfortable?"

I nodded.

"Then stop fighting it."

I nodded and tried to settle myself. My arm that was wrapped around her eased itself to the contours of her body. She was tiny in my arms. She was soft. She was warm and pleasant to have against me. My hand settled on the small of her back and found that her t-shirt had shifted about when she struggled to find the right position. My fingers touched her bare skin. It was like silk. My heart began to pound in my chest as I couldn't control my hand. My fingers touched her back in a slow and soft circular pattern. Carey must have liked it. She pressed herself even closer and harder against me.

"That feels good," she whispered.

My hand slowed to a stop.

She pushed her back into my hand and wiggled her perfect little rear end, "Don't stop. It's putting me to sleep."

I continued my touches without giving it a second thought. I marveled at how smooth she was. My hand traveled slightly further up her displaced t-shirt and made long patterns on her back. I felt her drift slowly to sleep, but I was nowhere near slumber. My heart raced. I felt myself get aroused. I cursed myself. I hated myself. But, I couldn't stop. My arousal fueled my misplaced bravado. My hand drifted back down to the small of her back. My fingers inched closer and closer to the fabric of her shorts. When they made contact, I waited for a reaction. There was none. Just gentle breathing from her as she drifted to sleep. I tried to control myself, but I couldn't. My hand moved further and further down, a little at a time. My fingers traced the outline of her ass until I finally placed my palm on a perfectly shaped cheek. I was fully erect. I could not believe what I was doing. I was in bed with my cousin wrapped around me and my hand was planted on her rear end.

"Is that what you were looking at before?"

To my horror, she was still awake. My heart shot right into my throat. No words left my mouth. Even if they could, I couldn't conjure anything to say.

"It's ok, Matt."

I pulled my hand away.

"It's ok. You can leave it there. I am in your bed; I guess this is the toll I need to pay for comfort." She said as she finally drifted to sleep.

I left my hand on her. Ashamed and finally being called out for what I had been pining for the entire night, my mind slowed its thoughts. I tired from worrying. I tired from all the thoughts. With Carey pressed up against me, I listened to her rhythmic breathing and soon fell asleep.

*

The autumn sun woke me. I sat up in my bed, rubbed the bits of sleep away from my eyes and looked around. Carey wasn't beside me. A part of me was relieved, yet there was a part of me that wished that she was. The futon was made. Her bedding was neatly folded and put away. I found a note resting against the digital clock on my nightstand. I read it. Carey had taken some time to herself for a jog to clear her thoughts and still intended on us to spend time together. Clear her thoughts. That worried me as I got out of bed and lumbered through my morning routine. I stepped into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. That would snap me back into the real world. As the coffee-maker bubbled and brewed the life giving nectar, I leaned against the breakfast counter and stared out into the living room. The sound of keys jingling at the front door snapped me out of my trance.

"Hey." Carey greeted me as she walked into the house.

I looked over to her and offered her a smile. "Hey."

She walked into the living room and stretched her legs out. I looked her over and was stunned into awe. She was wearing pair of tight yoga pants and a hoodie. In her stretching, Carey pulled the hoodie off and tossed it onto the floor revealing that she only wore a sports bra underneath. Her skin was shining with a sheen of sweat.

"Making coffee?" she asked as she bent down to place both her palms onto the living room floor presenting her ass to me. I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not.

"Yeah."

"Enough for two?"

"Enough for five." I said groggily. "I'm a bit slow today."

"Didn't sleep well?" she asked as she bent down even further to the point where she looked back at me from between her legs. There was a smile on her face. Was she tormenting me?

"Uh...kind of."

She stood from her stretch slowly and started on her yoga exercises. "I slept great."

I turned to smirk out of her vision and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. I stared at the coffeemaker and wished that it finished brewing. "I'm glad you slept well."

"I wasn't troubled with thoughts."

I looked over to her. She had switched yoga poses. "You didn't have any thoughts?"

She took a deep breath with her eyes closed as she held her pose. "We all have thoughts, Matt."

"They didn't bother you?"

Carey shook her head slowly. "No."

"Why?" I asked and was thankful when the coffeemaker signaled that the coffee was done. I quickly poured the life-giving fluid into my mug and took a deep breath from it. The smell alone made me feel a little better.

"We are only human." She simply answered and changed poses. "Thoughts that I think you were having come to us all. My thoughts were a little different, but nonetheless, they didn't bother me enough not allow me to sleep well."

"Then why the note?" I asked as I finally took a sip from my mug.

She changed poses and shrugged. "A girl can still analyze those thoughts," she said simply. She looked up to me, "Can't I?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"Are we still spending time together today? Or do you need to be alone with your thoughts?"

I shook my head in disbelief. She was ever feisty and quick-witted. "We can. I have to check up on the things I said I needed to, take a shower and then dress for whatever you want to do."

"Ok." She said.

"Should I dress nicely?"

Carey scoffed, "I'm not some high maintenance bitch. Dress in what makes you comfortable, Matt."

I nodded and drank some more of my coffee before I walked back to our room. I picked up my tablet and switched it on. I looked through some of the emails and was glad that I had a few days off before I had to go and work on a grueling project. Satisfied with my work docket, I gathered some clothes and went off to take a shower. I glanced down the hallway and saw that Carey was done with her yoga. She leaned against the breakfast counter of the kitchen and was sipping on a mug of coffee. My heart skipped a few beats as I took her in. She remained in nothing but just her yoga tights and the sports bra that she wore. She was off in her own world, oblivious to my staring. She sipped from her mug. I watched as her sensual lips touched the mug as she slowly sipped. My eyes ran all across her body. Her sports bra struggled to keep her firm and supple B-cups in check. Her yoga pants accentuated all the curves, angles and firmness of her legs. I drank her in. I couldn't pull myself away. The final straw was when she reached up and pulled apart the ponytail that she wore. Her silky black locks fell and rested just past her shoulders. She shook her head about and fluffed her hair out. My breathing was labored. I couldn't handle it anymore. I quickly stepped into the bathroom.

I stripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower. I was fully erect. I dialed in the temperature of water that I liked and switched on the shower. As the hot water drenched me, I stood there in the shower stall staring down at my cock. It was unyielding. I was disgusted at myself. I had never been turned on by any other girl that I had dated the way I was turned on by my own cousin. Why was Carey turning me into this? Why can't I control myself? I soaped up and washed hoping it would help. But, it didn't. As I tried my best to cleanse myself, I remained firmly erect. My body wanted her. I wanted her. But, she was a forbidden piece of fruit that was only meant for display. I couldn't...no, I shouldn't touch her. I shut the water off and stood in the stall. The bathroom was filled with the steam of the hot shower. I slid the shower stall door back and heard the 'click' to the bathroom door. I froze. Had I not shut the door all the way? I stood in perfect stillness as I heard the creaking of steps go away from the bathroom. The creaking lead away from the bathroom to what I thought was our room. I stepped out and dried off. Did Carey peak in? I dressed quickly and stepped out of the bathroom.