All Comments on 'His Living Toy'

I really enjoyed this story but the inconsistencies are distracting. Decide who's driving the car and stick with it. A little more segue between acts would benefit your story greatly, it's a bit jumpy. Overall a good start. I hope you continue.

Thank you so much for your comment. This story was originally based on a journal entry. I fear that when I took a sentence out, I left "I", instead of "he", which it should read and the editors didn't catch it, nor did I. I am currently trying to seee if it is possible to edit work that has already been submitted.

I don't have much practice writing fiction yet, though I love it, and I deeply appreciate your commenbt to help my next effort.