All Comments on 'Hollywood Noir Ch. 01'

What the fuck. You can write, but you turn everything into a moaning, whimpering, cackling and sneering orgy of cartoon characters. You leave the reader cringing and laughing, and not in a good way.

Keep it up, l like your fanmail.

lay off all the adverbs and adjetives and tell the story with a few well chosen words. you write like you're being paid by the word. seriously, when you find yourself using "supremely" more than twice a page it is time to invest in a thesauras.

... I can see you really enjoy my work, such microscopic scrutiny! I can see you are a real fan.

Pages 6-8 are gone! I read 1-4 yesterday, ran out of time, came back and whaaaaa?

I enjoyed as far as I got.

I'm STILL laughing at how bad this was! Cardboard characters running amok for no reason. Not a single decent person in here and nothing clever, interesting or entertaining. JUST AWFUL.

This story is so superb, as is Female Supremacy,

just can't wait to read what is going to happen further;

to give you an idea how much i enjoined it : i came 5 times reading :)

I hope to keep you excited with more shortly.

I really did love this story. I am a male submissive. I have not found many stories about male submissives. I would have loved to be either Larry or Scott. I am right into BDSM. I love being disciplined by strap, cane, crop, whip. I would be very happy to engage in conversation with like-minded people - either Doms or subs. I am very happy to supply my Email Address which is keithsmithkiwi509781@gmail.com.

Once again, another masterpiece.

And shot them all.