Honor Thy Mother & Thy Father Ch. 28

He slid the book back into its compartment, stuck his head outside the window, and said that the left side of the aircraft was clear and he was starting number one engine.

Within a few seconds, there was a tremor everyone in the aircraft felt. The number one Rolls Royce engine came to life.

Payne looked out the right window and said it was clear.

Charles said, "Starting number two." The number two engine came to life. All the exterior connections to the aircraft were removed. The signalman waved his paddles, directing the aircraft away from the terminal area, and they began moving towards the taxiway.

As they reached the end of the taxiway, Charles realized he didn't know the aircraft's tail numbers. He knew Payne was smiling for reason, but didn't know why. Flight instructors were all the same. If they had something on you, they let you hang yourself with it. He figured he would have some fun.

"Christchurch tower, this is 'Pretty in Pink' runway 01 ready for takeoff."

Payne burst out laughing. She clicked her microphone. "658 Sierra India is ready for takeoff."

The tower responded, "Pretty in Pink, altimeter 3000. Wind 030° 14knots. Temperature 23°C, Time 0902UST. Cleared for takeoff"

"Pretty in Pink is rolling."

Payne called out the speed as it increased. She called V1, and then VR. As the aircraft reached 107 knots she called 'Rotate.'

Charles pulled back on the yoke, and the Gulfstream climbed effortlessly into the sky.

"V2." The flaps came up, the landing gear stowed away. The aircraft was now as streamline as a bullet. He maintained the aircrafts speed at Mach .70 as it climbed to 53 thousand feet. When it was level, and all systems were re-checked, Charles increased the speed to Mach .925. It could reach Mach .94, however, the aircraft would burn more fuel, arrive at Charleston only a few moments earlier. However, they would arrive with less than the mandatory FAA required fuel reserve. If anyone checked their tanks, there would be hell to pay; not only from the FAA, but from Dycke also.

For the next four hours, Payne tested Charles on every aspect of the aircraft's electrical system. This was a fly by wire aircraft, and there was over 30 miles of wire in it. The flaps and landing gear were pneumatically controlled, but the pumps for them were activated electrically. Each pilot and copilot had to know every inch of wire and switch blindfolded.

Payne hit a button on the flight console, and Wendy, the flight attendant stuck her head in to the flight deck.

"Tea or an energy drink, Payne?"

"Tea please, Wendy, and would you have George get ready to join us on the flight deck."

"Charles, you will never spend more than four hours as pilot in command of our aircraft. On a seventeen-hour flight like this one, we rotate every four hours. I will go into the captain's chair for the next four hours. You will go into the back and get something to eat and go to sleep. George will sit in the right seat. Four hours from now we rotate again, and so on throughout the flight. No flight crew will take two of these flights in successive weeks."

"You have very strict flight safety procedures when it comes to your flight crew's."

"You have to think about the people we are carrying in the back. Most of them are very rich and powerful people; so-called 'Captains of Industry.' We don't take any chances with them. Therefore we don't take any chances with our flight crews. We do not allow drugs. We test everyone once a month. We don't allow alcohol within twenty-four hours of flying. We test the crew before they leave operations, and get into the aircraft. If you fail any of these test, you are not warned, you are gone. You are told all these things before you sign the contract. That's why we pay each individual handsomely. We want your loyalty. We want you to stay with us. We want you to honor our rules. I know this is going to sound very crude coming out of my mouth, but you will get this speech before you sign our contract at personnel. 'You can't do drugs. You can't do liquor. You can fuck anyone you want while you're on the ground. However, when you are going to fly, don't fuck with us, or you're gone. It says so, in those words, in black and white, in large letters, on your contract. The lawyers had a fit when my husband insisted those words be put into the language of the contract. They asked a retired federal judge what he thought about it. He told our lawyers that it was refreshing to have something so plainly spelled out that any idiot would understand it."

So far, we have fired thirteen members of our aircrews, because of alcohol or drugs. They were mostly alcohol related. A few used marijuana. They said it relaxed them. We relaxed them even further by giving them more time off. You get vested in the retirement plan after seven years. You are eligible for retirement after twelve years at 50% of your salary. The longer you stay the higher percentage of your salary you retain for your retirement. There is no limit. As long as you pass your flight physical, you can stay with us until you are sixty. At sixty, you must retire."

"Why age 60?"

"The actuaries for the large airlines did an analysis of the airline pilots. Over 73% of airline pilots die before the age of sixty-four."

"That is not very comforting; I think I'll retire earlier."

"It is definitely something to think about."

George entered the flight deck and said, "Boys and girls it's time for musical chairs."

Payne got out of her seat and George replaced her. Charlie got out of his seat and Payne replaced him.

"Charles, don't mingle with the guests, it will be good practice for you. We will see you in four hours."

"Okay, later folks."

*******

The aircraft flew across the Pacific Ocean, making its first landfall over the southern tip of the Baja Peninsula, crossing Mexico and into the Gulf of Mexico. At 53,000 feet, they could see New Orleans, nearly 200 miles to the north. They made landfall near Panama City, Florida, still heading 043°. No one had touched the yoke of the aircraft, even to make a minor correction. The ancient mariners used the stars to guide themselves, while sailing their majestic ships. Today, these majestic aircraft used satellite navigation, and a device in the nose of the aircraft took star sightings to make sure the aircraft was on course. All these magical instruments kept the Gulfstream 650 in a box, 9 feet square. If it wandered out that box, a warning light flashed.

Payne made sure Charles was in the Captain's chair for the final leg of the flight. She wanted to watch him interact with US Air Traffic Control personnel all the way to landing. When they were 350 miles southwest of Charleston, there were thunderstorms blocking their way. Charles was given instructions to descend to 19,000 feet. He advised everyone in the aircraft to buckle up. He would be descending rapidly due to thunderstorms. He descended at 4000 feet per minute. 175 miles from the airport he was given instructions to descend to 11,000 feet. He did it aggressively again. When he was turned over to Charleston approach control, and cleared for an ILS approach, he lined up the aircraft perfectly, and landed it on the centerline, just beyond the normal touchdown point.

Payne said to him, "We have to talk."

As they parked the pink jet inside the hangar, and everyone deplaned, Payne and Charles sat in the back to discuss the final portion of the flight.

"Charles why did you descend as if you were falling out of the sky?"

He replied, "When I see thunderstorms in an area, and I know I'm going to be struggling with them, I like to know what I'm dealing with at the altitude I'm assigned. Instead of slowly descending to that altitude, I want to get there in a hurry to find out what's there. If I have to deviate, I want to know what's going to be there. If I'm in the clear I want to know it. It's something I learned a long time ago, and it has served me well all through my flying career."

"Do you think about your passengers comfort at all?"

"I fly VIPs all the time. They are my primary concern. If they start throwing up in the back, they report my name to my superiors, and I get hell for it. If I warn them that I am descending quickly to avoid thunderstorms, they will batten down the hatches, and hang on for a few moments, until I reach an altitude that is safer."

"That is a very interesting concept Charles. I'll talk to our chief pilot about it, and see what he thinks. Maybe, just maybe, he will edit to our safety protocol. Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"I was going to make a reservation on an airline to get to Washington tomorrow. Once I had that in hand, I was going to rent a hotel room for the night."

"Give me a moment please."

Payne called Dycke's office and when he answered the phone she said, "Hello twerp, I'm home."

"Holy cow, I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow. I have to get the two blondes out of our apartment in a hurry."

"Dycke, you can barely handle me. How do you think you can handle two women at one time?"

"You're the reason I need two women. You're so damn hot."

"Thank God you got yourself fixed. Otherwise you would have gotten me pregnant tonight with a statement like that."

"To what do I owe the honor of this phone call?"

"I swear you have a memory like a sieve. Harold and Callie are here."

"Holy cow I forgot. That's why I sent you to New Zealand. It wasn't for the blondes."

"Dycke did you remember to take the paddles out?"

"Yes dear, they are all warmed up."

"Good, I'm going to use them on your head tonight."

"Would you like to bet?"

"Oh no Mister Schneider; I have never won one of those. I am just going to use my superior strength and willpower to overcome your insanity. Before I go any further, I have Major Charles Zinc with me. He will be a new pilot for us in nine months when he retires from the Air Force. Is our suite at the Marriott available?"

"Yes it is."

"Would you have Roxanna reserve the suite for him, and get him a reservation to Reagan for tomorrow morning, at a reasonable hour?"

"I believe she can handle that."

"Harold, Callie, and I will be leaving the airport in about thirty minutes. I will be taking them to their apartment. I hope you put some nice furniture in there for them, especially a bed, because they are going to be exhausted."

"Why would I do something like that?"

"If you didn't you may not be able to walk up to our apartment, because what's left of your balls will be lying on the floor"

"Payne don't even joke about that. The thought of it makes me cringe."

"Oh good, when I get home I will walk around with a scissors in my hand."

"I should be home in about two hours. I have things I have to finish here. As soon as I complete everything, I will come straight to your arms."

"Dycke, I've been away for eight days. You are not interested in my arms."

"You know me so well."

"Pervert!"

"That's why you love me."

"There is that possibility. I'll see you at home." Payne hung up her phone.

Major Zinc asked, "How long have you two been married?"

"Soon it will be thirteen years."

"Honestly, you sound like newlyweds."

"Thank you that was a very sweet thing to say."

*************

120. What Are Friends For?

"Oh Harold, look at that view."

He took her hand and kissed it. "Yeah, it's nice if you like water. I just worry about the neighbors upstairs, and their noisy kids."

"I wouldn't worry about the kids so much, Harold. When Dycke knows you're at home, he will put speakers against the floor, play loud, offensive music, and ride his Segway in the middle of the night just to keep you awake."

"I didn't know that Dycke and you got along like Alan and me."

"Callie, Dycke, and Howard are civilized. Alan and you are always out of control."

"We are not; we just like to have fun."

Harold asked, "Did you have fun when you almost broke his neck? Did you have fun when you nearly broke his ribs? Are you always having fun by putting him in the hospital?"

"Sometimes I just don't know my own strength."

Payne took Callie by the shoulder and started walking towards the balcony. She said, "I have a plan."

Harold said out loud, "Oh God, Dycke hold onto your balls, our women are planning their revenge. If I were you, I would stay at work."

From a small speaker buried in the couch, Dycke said, "Stay away from them Harold, the fun is about to begin."

"Dycke are you ever going to grow up?"

"Why grow up when you're having so much fun."

"Where are you?"

"I just left the office, and I am on my way home. Get ready for them to scream. Here comes number one."

The girls were walking in from the balcony, when they were hit by a burst of frozen carbon dioxide gas. Callie and Payne screamed as the frigid cloud of gas that enveloped them.

Payne knew immediately who the culprit was. "Dycke, I'm going to cut your balls off." She received no reply.

Harold ran to them and asked what had happened.

They told him of their misadventure. He looked around the door opening to find an opening for the gas to escape from. He found none. He told Callie and Payne they had to be mistaken. He stood with them as they went over every millimeter of the door entrance and could not find anything remotely wrong with it.

Harold moved inside the apartment leaving the two women by the door, when another bursts of gas hit them from every angle.

They screamed again. Harold turned and he was back by their side within seconds. "What happened this time?"

"The same thing happened, Harold. I swear it. I am going to kill that husband of mine, because I know it's him."

"Payne, I thought you said he wouldn't be here for almost one hour. That leaves him at least another forty-five minutes before he gets here. If you think he's lying call his office and see if he's gone."

"Brilliant Harold, I'll call his secretary and have her put me through to him."

*******

"Mister Schneider's office, this is Roxanna, how may I help you?"

"Hello Roxanna, this is Payne, can I speak to him for a moment please?"

"Sure, I'll put you right through."

"Dammit, he is there."

"Payne, I'm still wrapping things up here. I have about an hour to go, maybe a little less. Don't be angry with me, please."

"No Dycke, that's not the reason I called. I just wanted to know if you had anything special in mind for dinner, or if you wanted to go to the Golf Club."

"Show Callie the menu for the club. If she likes what she sees, we will go there. Otherwise we will take her wherever she wants to go."

"That's very thoughtful, Dycke. When you leave the office, give us a call and we will dress appropriately."

"Why don't you meet me in our bedroom, undressed, I will take advantage of your body, take a quick shower and then we can get dressed."

"Your parents named you correctly, Dycke. You always think from between your legs upwards."

"I have never heard you complain."

"I wasn't complaining this time either, pervert. Call me when you leave the office. I can't wait to see you."

"If you are naked, I will see you too; a whole lot of you."

"Dycke, hang up before I have to go into the bathroom and take care of myself."

"Don't do it. I love that job. I relish, horseradish, and pickle it."

"How many times do you think that joke is going to be funny?"

"I get a 'Hot Dog' out of it every time."

"Goodbye, Dycke, every time I get on the phone with you, I never want to get off."

"Trust me Payne; every time I'm with you, I want to get you off."

"Goodbye, you are disgusting, but I love you." She turned off her phone, with a big smile on her face.

Callie asked, "Well is he at work?"

"Yes, he said he has another hour to go, and he will call us when he leaves."

"You two still have the hots for one another."

"Can you tell? You're the second person that said so today."

"Is there a secret to keeping a marriage as steamy as yours appears to be?"

"I don't really know. Dycke and I met accidentally at his eighteenth birthday party. My brother, Steve, was chasing him. Dycke bumped into me, and sent me flying into his parent's pool.

At the time, my face look like chopped meat. My parents' car was hit broadside by a vehicle fleeing from the police. We were all hurt, but my face was mangled beyond recognition. They had to wait eighteen years for the bones in my face to fuse so they could reconstruct it as you see it today.

Dycke was as thin as a reed. He was very fast, very smart, and extremely kind. He asked for permission to come up to the room and apologize for knocking me into the water. My dad said no, because I would probably kill him. My mom said it was okay, but she warned everyone there was going to be a violent explosion in a moment. She would take care of everything, before there was blood on the walls.

Dycke walked into the room, and closed the door. I walked out of the bathroom naked. I screamed when I saw him. He was stunned, but the first words out of his mouth were how beautiful I was.

I asked him if he was blind.

He said no.

I asked him if he had looked at my face.

He told me he was looking at it, and still thought I was beautiful.

My mother entered the room to see where the body parts were, and since there were none, she left us alone to talk.

He had never been out with a girl, and I had never been out with a boy, because of the way I looked. Neither of us had ever been kissed, but we kissed each other. We kissed for a long time. He looked into my eyes, and I looked into his. His hands never wandered, he just held me close.

When my mother returned, and asked me if I wanted my clothes, I said yes. We were in each other's arms, totally and completely in love. When she came back, she moved us apart, and told Dycke to leave so I could get dressed. Dycke asked her why he had to leave. He might not recognize me with clothes on. He tried to escape the room unharmed, but he was hit in the head and neck by my shoes. When my mother and I went downstairs to join everyone, Dycke asked where I was. Everyone scattered when I attacked him. They laughed as I attempted to beat the crap out of him. He only let me do it, because he knew I had all that fury built up inside me. When I tired, he flipped me over, and I felt his hardness against me. He held my hands down with one of his, and moved his other towards the side of my breast. I was overheated and confused by feelings I never had before.

I said to him, "You Wouldn't Dare."

He kissed me and said, "Do You Want To Bet?"

He released my hands, and I pushed him over straddling his hips. He was so hard, I thought he would burst. I said to him, "It is not over until the fat lady sings, and there are no fat ladies here."

We have been in love, and in lust with each other from that day on.

"Neither of you has been with another partner?"

"No."

"Do you ever wonder if you're missing anything?"

"No, but you have to understand my husband. He reads everything. Before we made love for the first time, he went through every book on sex, on the main floor of the University of South Carolina library.

The Librarian thought he was a pervert. She should only know what he's capable of doing in bed. As he progressed, the librarian let him in the stacks, and finally had to start ordering books from other libraries, all around the country for him. His lovemaking techniques are so varied I never get tired of going to bed with him. I am never sure what is going to happen when we start. I love it."

"Is that what you've been doing Harold? You've been talking to Dycke, and he's been telling you what to read?"

Harold looked around innocently. "I'm sorry, are you talking to me?"

"You know God damn well I was talking to you Harold."

"Men don't talk to each other about sex."