All Comments on 'House Hunting'

For the most top quarter of the story you had past tense then as you went further down you started mixing them up and at the middle to the end you used present. Kinda confusing.

As for your plot, not a bad one. At least it was a rape story and even though she got to cum Pauline was still ashamed about the incident and she signed the cheque over.

Best of all I didn't get to see you wrote like some other moronic amateurs that whenever a cock got stuck into their cunts they not only cum like freight trains but even screamed for more.

Hope to see more of your submission in the future with the proper usages of tenses.

Cheers!

Past tense, present tense, whatever!!! Pick one, and stick with it.

(By the way, I recommend against using present tense.)

-- KVK

If you were a carpenter, you would be expected to know how to use saws, hammers, and other tools of the trade. If you want to be a writer, you need to learn how to use language. It is the tool of a writer's trade.

Grammar isn't something you study in the 8th grade and then forget. It is necessary to the proper use of the language. As others have mentioned, verb tense should be consistant. I will go further. There is a reason stories are written in past tense. A story is an account of something that has happened. It happened in the past, so write about it in past tense.

If you like, try to find a single instance of a novel or story published in a magazine that is written in present tense.

The grammer has already been beat up so i wont bother. I will say i loved the plotline! I have read about this actually happening in the news before so it was cool to see it in a story here. I like shopping current events for storylines. I agree that i was glad she didnt cum and suddenly become a cock whore. I too loved how humiliated she felt and think thats the best part of any story.

I loved it. The plot was exciting....and i actually like how you used present and past tense....it seemed to me like you started out in past tense because you wanted us to feel like she was remembering that valentines day while helping another "pefect client". I loved it...keep up the good work.