If I were a Carpenter

Monroe knew she didn't need to ask 'how much' but old habits die hard so...

"I'm thinking $7,500 should cover everything," he told her. "That's labor and materials."

"Well, okay then. You're hired! Just let me know if I can do anything for you. Otherwise I'll try and stay out of you way."

"Great. I'll make up a list of supplies I'll need then I'll head over to Lowes and pick them up. I hate mentioning money, but I will need to pay for most of the materials upfront. You won't pay for my time until the job is done to your satisfaction, of course," he explained.

"Oh, okay. Just let me know what you need," she said with a smile and with that Axl was ready to get started once she handed him a check for $3,000 a few minutes later.

By the end of the day, the stairs were in perfect working order after being completely removed and replaced. Monroe knew they were bad enough that she was afraid to use them. She just had no idea they were that bad.

"That's very nice," Monroe said when he asked her if she was satisfied with the work.

"Great. Then I'll be back tomorrow morning and get going on the drywall and floor repair in the laundry room," he told her.

And right at 8am, he was there ready to go to work. Monroe, however, was not there, as she'd taken David to school and forgot to leave a note for Axl. She was only two minutes away when she realized it was already eight o'clock, and she hoped he wouldn't leave before she got back to the house.

He hadn't left. In fact, he was sitting in his white van reading a book when she pulled in at 8:05 after two red lights slowed her down.

Monroe jumped out of the car and hurried over to him.

"I am so sorry! I was taking my son to school, and thought I'd be back ten minutes ago, and..."

Axl laughed as he set his book down and told her, "No worries. It's only five minutes, and I knew you'd be here."

Relieved, she looked at his book and asked, "What are you reading? If you don't mind me asking."

"No, not at all," he told her pleasantly as he got out to get his tools. "It's called Signature in the Cell. It's a book about what some people call Intelligent Design Theory."

He slammed the door then walked to the back of the van and opened the rear door.

"Others would say it isn't a theory because it isn't even scientific."

"I'm afraid I haven't heard of it," she told him truthfully.

"Seattle is the hub for the whole movement. What they called 'The Design Institute' is located just a few miles away from here. As to the theory—or non-theory, that's okay. I'm kind of a bookworm and this topic interests me because I grew up in a very religious home then started questioning and later abandoned all of it after I went to college. But now, after a personal tragedy, I find myself questioning my questioning, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I've been reading it among several other topics currently of interest to me."

"Oh. Oh, okay," Monroe said still having no idea what he was talking about.

Axl sensed the confusion and said, "In a nutshell, either God exists or He doesn't. Therefore, He either did or didn't create the universe and life on earth."

"Okay, I'm with you so far," she said as he pulled what he needed out.

"Well, that means the so-called bottom-line question is whether or not there's anything but the natural realm and if there is, how to we go about investigating claims people make about i? For instance, if people claim their cancer went into remission because of answered prayer, how could we verify that claim? Do we just take their word for it because they say it's so? Is there anyway to actually test such claims? Or when people say DNA is far too complex to have arisen on its own, and for the record, no scientist on earth claims to know how life began, how would we go about looking for something other than a natural explanation? Just saying 'God did it' is a claim. It doesn't prove anything. So Intelligent Design or ID for short, tries to demonstrate the likelihood of a Designer by investigating things which appear to be designed. It's very controversial to say the least, and most people who oppose it claim it's nothing but a backdoor attempt to get God back into the public school system."

He slammed the rear door shut then said, "Now that I've bored you to death by..."

He looked at his watch and said, "Eight-ten in the morning, perhaps I should stop talking and try and earn the money you're paying me."

"You haven't bored me at all," Monroe told him. "I'll admit I didn't understand much of what you said, but it sounds fascinating. So...are you a religious person now?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. I haven't been to church since I was 19. But after calling myself an atheist—a weak atheist as opposed to a strong atheist—for the last five years or so, it's a pretty big deal for me to say I'm now more of an agnostic. I still see no evidence God exists, but I'm very open to the possibility He does. And possibly even hopeful that He does."

"It sounds very deep," Monroe told him as she opened the garage door for them.

"No. Not at all. Well, the topic is, but I'm not. I'm one of those people who's knowledge on most things is a mile wide but an inch deep. I love learning. Whether it's quantum mechanics, alien abduction stories, or the Big Bang, I'm interested. I read everything I can get my hands on and watch videos on stuff that interests me, too."

"You're girlfriend can't be very happy with that," she teased.

Axl stopped and got very serious as he said, "Girlfriend? What makes you think I'm straight?"

A horrified look washed over Monroe's face as she said, "Oh, my goodness. No. Axl, I wasn't trying to assume anything. I was just..."

He started laughing then said, "Got ya, didn't I?"

"What?"

"I'm straight. As an arrow," he told her. "I couldn't help pulling your leg. It's just who I am. I'm always kidding around."

"Oh. Okay," Monroe said, now very relieved and feeling a little silly and decided she liked his sense of humor.

"And no, I don't have a girlfriend," he told her. "I did but..."

Not sure what to say or whether she even should, Monroe opened the back door for him and let him inside.

"I didn't have time to go out for snacks, but I can make some coffee if you'd like."

"Well, if you'll have a cup with me, I'll take you up on that," he told her with a smile.

He'd shaved that morning and looked even more handsome than before, and Monroe found herself wondering why she was even noticing. Then again, she was engaged and not married. Being engaged was a promise rather than a vow, so it wasn't quite the same thing. Still, it bothered her that she noticed.

"Definitely. I'd love a second cup," she said as they entered the house in the laundry room.

"Well, I'll get started in here while you work your magic with the coffee pot."

"Ah, yes. Making coffee. I believe we've finally found something I know how to do and can understand," she said, mostly teasing.

It was only 'mostly' true because Monroe felt horribly out of place around Peter's friends and associates who were all lawyers, CPAs, or elected officials. Monroe had barely graduated from high school, and that made her feel woefully inadequate anytime an in-depth discussion took place on pretty much anything whether it was the law or this design thing.

Axl laughed politely, and as she walked away he tried not to stare, but it wasn't easy because he found Monroe Hastings to be unbelievably attractive to him. He could tell she was older than him, and at 23 he'd never dated anyone over 25 before, but were she single...

But that wasn't the case as he couldn't possibly miss the humongous ring on her hand. However, had it not been there, he felt pretty sure he'd at least try and ask her out once the job was finished knowing that an answer of 'no' wasn't painful for long. But it was there, and Axl despised cheaters as much as liars, and he detested liars.

"Maybe that's why I don't much care for politicians of any stripe," he said to himself as he assessed the drywall problem.

He had the rotted and broken drywall on the back wall removed and squared off before Monroe came back holding two mugs of steaming hot coffee.

"Black, right?" she asked.

"Yes, please. And thank you very much," he said as he accepted one and took a first sip. "Oh, that is so good!"

"You're very welcome," she said. "Can you afford to take ten minutes and sit and talk?"

"Oh, well, I'd feel guilty since you're paying me to work," he told her with a smile.

"It's just ten minutes, and since I'm the one paying you, I insist," she said smiling back.

"Okay. You're the boss!" he told her as he picked his cup up and followed her to the kitchen.

"So you're selling this place, right?" he asked when they set down.

"I am."

"It's got 'good bones'," he told her. "Mind if I ask why?"

"No, not at all," Monroe answered. "I uh, I recently got engaged, and my fiancé wants me...well, my son and I, to move into his place, so we're selling this one. He's actually asked us to move in already, but I don't feel right about that, so we're staying here until after the wedding."

"Fiancé. Lucky guy."

"Oh, thank you. He's...Peter...is an attorney."

"Oh, wow. Thanks for telling me. I've got a million lawyer jokes, and I'm not afraid to use them," Axl quipped making Monroe laugh.

"Peter takes the law very seriously," she let him know. "I can't really see him laughing at lawyer jokes."

"My dad always told me, 'Take your job but never yourself too seriously', and I think that's pretty good advice. So as long as he has a sense of humor outside of his profession, that's probably a good thing."

Monroe tried to think of a time when Peter had ever shown a sense of humor about anything and came up blank.

"He's a very nice man," Monroe said, not sure what else to say.

"I have no doubt. And he clearly has very good taste," Axl told her as he looked right at her and smiled.

Monroe looked down at the table and said, "Thank you—again. I guess I never thought I'd ever get married again, so I suppose I'm very fortunate to be engaged to someone like him."

Axl took another sip then said, "That was a very...unusual way of describing how you feel about being engaged."

There was no judgment in his voice. He was simply offering an opinion.

"Well, I was married before. To the most wonderful man I ever knew. We were together for a little less than three years total and, well, he...he was killed in a car accident before our son was even born so..."

"I'm so very sorry, Monroe," Axl said sincerely. "I uh, I lost the love of my life, too."

"Oh, my God. Axl, I'm so sorry. Were you married? No offense, but you're so young."

"No. We weren't married. We were engaged, though. I'd known her—her name was Rachel—for three years. We'd been dating for two and then I finally asked her to marry me and when she said 'yes' I was the happiest guy on earth—young or not."

Monroe's heart was breaking for him when she noticed he never looked up while he spoke. He kept staring into his coffee cup as though, if he looked hard enough, he might see her again somewhere in the dark liquid inside it.

"It...it wasn't a car accident, was it?" she asked carefully.

"No. It was a rare form of cardiomyopathy called 'arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia'."

"I'm sorry, Axl, but once again, you're talking right over my head. I've...I've never heard of that."

"It affects mostly people under 35, and it's a common-uncommon cause of death in young athletes. If it's properly diagnosed, it can be treated with medication. Neither Rachel nor her family had any idea she even had it until she had a seizure at home. By the time the ambulance arrived, she was gone."

Monroe sat there in silence with him for a while before Axl looked up and said, "So that's what got me thinking, or maybe...hoping, there might be something after death."

"Like heaven?"

"Yeah. Heaven is the most-commonly used word, I suppose. It's been a year now, and I'm finally starting to move on, but I still think about her, and what we might have had, every day."

"I understand, Axl. My husband has been gone for over close to seven years, and I still miss him every day. I finally stopped crying after three years, but he's always close by, you know? I mean, not literally, anyway. At least I don't think that's the case. Some people think our departed loved ones become guardian angels, but I really can't say."

"Right. That's another claim there's no way to investigate, or at least none that I'm aware of. At any rate, I'm really sorry for you, too, Monroe," he told her. "We were only engaged. You were married and had a baby on the way. I...I can't imagine how awful it was. Based on your comment, was it a vehicle accident?"

She gave him the short version of what happened and when he told her he clearly remembered that day and why she was very surprised.

"My dad stayed home for a couple of hours that morning because the local news said the fog was awful. He and my mom still believe God kept him in the house that day. In fact, if you ask either of them, they will swear there were angels keeping him from getting in the car at his normal time."

"Do you?" she asked.

"Had you asked me that before Rachel died, I'd have laughed and maybe even scoffed and told you that was pure bullsh...nonsense. But now? I honestly don't know. I guess 'maybe' is the best answer I have."

"That's honest, though," she told him.

"I hope so. I can't stand liars," he said with the first real smile since the conversation 'went dark' and Monroe smiled back.

"I should really get back to work. That drywall isn't gonna fix itself," he said before taking one more large sip then getting up.

"I really enjoyed talking with you, Axl. Thank you for taking a few minutes to let me get to know you better," Monroe said.

"No, it was my pleasure, Monroe," he assured her. "Thank you for the coffee and for sharing that with me."

"You're very welcome. And you, too."

"Oh, and congratulations on finding someone else to love. I'm...I'm envious," he said before walking away.

And there it was again. The nagging doubts were back. How could something as simple as having a conversation, no matter the topic, do that to her so easily unless she really wasn't as sure as she thought she was?

Monroe sighed and yet again tried to tamp them down as she heard the kinds of sounds that indicated Axl was back at it.

Throughout the day, she stopped by and peeked in just to check on his progress. Or at least that's what she told herself. It had nothing to do with the way he always smiled at her or asked how she was doing even though she'd seen him an hour or two before. And it definitely wasn't related to his hard, muscular body or the fact that he was as handsome as anyone she'd ever met. That would be downright silly and mean that, well, it couldn't mean anything good.

Around noon he let her know he was finished in the laundry room except for painting once everything was dry. Just like the drop-down stairs from the attic, this job looked perfect, too, and she told him so.

"Thanks. I'm a perfectionist by nature, so if it isn't exactly right, I keep working until it is or do it over," he told her as they look at the large patch in the wall. He'd also had to replace a couple of the 2 x 4 studs that had gotten wet and rotted out as well as a small area of the floor, so the washer and dryer were pulled out into the hallway blocking the exit to the garage.

"Well, to my untrained eye it looks perfect," she let him know before asking if he'd brought lunch.

"No, I usually go somewhere for maybe half an hour or so," he said. "Speaking of lunch, this is the um...perfect time for me to go grab something. Can I get anything for you while I'm out?"

"No. I wouldn't even think of asking you," she said.

Monroe hesitated then said, "But I would ask if you might like to stay and have lunch with me. I've really enjoyed talking to you, and honestly, I'd appreciate the company. You may not feel the same way about me since I'm not exactly able to contribute much, but you're more than welcome to stay."

"Am I going to be in trouble with your fiancé?" he asked with a smile.

"With Peter? No. Not at all. It's just lunch, right?"

"Yes, but I'm always extra careful with female clients. Especially when they're really attractive. You can't be too careful these days, right?"

Monroe smiled and Axl immediately said, "I'm not flirting with you, Monroe. I was just making an observation. An accurate one I must say, but still just an observation."

"It was very kind of you to say regardless of how you meant it. I hate to admit it, but where looks are concerned I worry a lot about them fading and Peter losing interest in me. Is that shallow or what?" she asked not entire rhetorically.

"I don't think so. I'd say that's, well...a perfectly...legitimate concern."

Monroe couldn't help but laugh before he continued talking.

"I can only assume that women, more so than men, would be concerned about their physical appearance since society seems to place so much value on a woman's external beauty."

"That's so true," Monroe said. "I don't have a law degree. I didn't even go to college. But I suppose some would say I'm still reasonably attractive, and I know Peter places a lot of importance on how I look. So when I no longer look like this, I do wonder if that will change how he feels about me. I wish I didn't, but..."

As she quickly shifted gears and asked him what he'd like to eat, Axl said, "It's none of my business, but any man who'd stop loving his wife because she changes physically isn't worthy of her. We all get older. We all change. That's one of the um...unchangeable rules of life. And for me, any woman I might love enough to want to marry, would always be beautiful to me as we both slowly change together over time."

She didn't say it out loud, but that was exactly the kind of thing she longed to hear Peter say. Okay, it didn't have to be that—exactly. Just something close to it to let her know he'd always love her no matter what.

Instead of answering she suggested soup and sandwiches which Axl said sounded great, so Monroe made lunch as they continued talking.

"You know, I've never met anyone like you before," she told him, her back turned to him as she heated the soup in the microwave.

"Oh? How so?" Axl asked.

"It's not a bad thing. I just meant that everyone else I've ever met, outside of Peter and his friends from work, talks about basic stuff like the weather or a new movie or maybe their kids or something they recently bought for their house. You're not like that. You make me think."

"Human beings are always thinking. It never stops unless we're sleeping, and even then that's debatable. It may well be that our subconscious minds are working through issues our brains need to understand. Either way, since our brains are always on, I enjoy using mine to learn new things. And I do tend to talk about what interests me, so if I'm driving you crazy just let me know and I'll stop," he told her pleasantly.

"No. Please don't. This is very...refreshing. I don't think too much about a lot of things, because it causes me to feel so much conflict."

"Such as?" he asked just as politely.

"Well, for instance, when you just mentioned always seeing the person you'd love enough to marry as beautiful, it made me wonder if Peter feels that way. And if I was to spend time wondering, it would make me sad thinking he doesn't."

"Is it possible he might not think that way? And if he does, is that okay with you?" Axl asked.

"I've never asked, and if he told me he didn't, it would be hard to take. Even if it was his honest opinion."

"Has he ever said anything to lead you to believe he wouldn't love you if he stopped seeing you as gorgeous?"