All Comments on 'In the Stewpot'

by pacifist91w

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  • 3 Comments
FA_JFFA_JFalmost 10 years ago

Would it be bad if I said my primary reaction was to wonder how often they change the water or at least refresh the chlorine? :D

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Less people more action

I thought about the water too but was still able to focus on the story.

I think you did a good job with the action but maybe build it up a little more. Even if that wasn't his first anal and oral encounter he was still being held against his will by a group of strangers. Maybe put a little more fear into him and slow down the action...anal is no joke. Build it up, make us feel like it might be us getting stretched and fucked hard against our will. I know I would be a little more concerned - definitely more moaning and grunting is in order. Am I right?

Ok, I know thats a lot of constructive criticism but you should also know that you succeeded in making me wet - so well done.

:)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

Not erotic. Not fun to read. No real meat in this story

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I read and write romantic stories, complete with character and relationship development. A high percentage of my work is lesbian fiction. (That said, I have tried or will try writing almost anything!) It's rare, but I also do a bit of editing and proofreading. I love gettin...