by pacifist91w
Would it be bad if I said my primary reaction was to wonder how often they change the water or at least refresh the chlorine? :D
I thought about the water too but was still able to focus on the story.
I think you did a good job with the action but maybe build it up a little more. Even if that wasn't his first anal and oral encounter he was still being held against his will by a group of strangers. Maybe put a little more fear into him and slow down the action...anal is no joke. Build it up, make us feel like it might be us getting stretched and fucked hard against our will. I know I would be a little more concerned - definitely more moaning and grunting is in order. Am I right?
Ok, I know thats a lot of constructive criticism but you should also know that you succeeded in making me wet - so well done.
:)