All Comments on 'It Started with a Moan'

I always like sex from a lady's perspective. I also like that Josh cleaned his sister with his tongue and wasnt grossed out about eating his cum. Great story!

Excellent! The constant desire and the ever present fear of discovery are very true to life for any siblings so sexually involved. As are the feelings they have for one another. Why should a couple should have to live in fear, simply because they are related? No other mammals have such qualms. It isn't even logical, if you think about it.

more chapters

If he does such a good job on sis , can he do his mom as well

I am not usually the grammar police but there are so many errors with incorrect word choices that it did take away from the story. Seek an editor.

I gave up on the first page, just too many errors, get an editor.

"shutter her release." SHUDDER, look up the meaning of shutter.

Jiggled, not giggled. GIGGLED is a form of laughing, so her breasts were laughing were they? Those are just a few examples. 1*

While not socially acceptable,it is really no differant than a man or woman being gay.As long as it is between consenting adults,not forced,it is ok in my mind.While this and other stories of incest between siblings and cousins are fiction,it is obvious that this does happen and why should these people have to sneak around and hide their love.Hope to see more of this story,good work.

I apologize for the issues with spelling and incorrect words. I went though this at least five times if not more, hunting and looking for errors, many of which my spell-check never noticed. I took the time to make it as polished as possible before submitting it. Words that sounds similar, giggled and jiggled for example, are notorious for being overlooked, especially when they are not misspelled. I will go through the text once more and correct any further errors that I see and try to re-up an edited version. I appreciate those who pointed it out to me, though I wish you would have given the story a chance. Oh well.

Thank you for giving it a try, at the least and thank you for commenting -- all of those who did.

I'm a total grammar Nazi, and I found few issues with this. Get over it, guys. =/

5*, thoroughly enjoyed.

Nice first effort. Spelling and grammar mistakes are easy to make. I've experienced the same issues with my writing (I've submitted two stories to Literotica and many more to an Australian site.) Much of the problem stems from the fact that the writer is so familiar with the story by the time it is finished, that they no longer see what is written because they know it by heart.

I was able to rid my stories of most of the errors by reading them one paragraph at a time, in reverse order - from the conclusion back to the start. This had the effect of forcing me to consider each paragraph, in isolation, and on its merits. It worked for me. Having said that, I recently re-read one of my old Literotica submissions and picked up an error or two where I previously thought that there were none.

So, don't sweat it too much. You dealt with a tricky subject quite well. With incest stories, the success or failure of the story depends upon the reader being able to suspend their intrinsic disbelief. I felt that you achieved that, even without a long, fleshed-out development of the brother-sister relationship that so often is a part of stories of this genre. Maybe you could have had the protagonists feeling a little more angst about what they were doing, for the sake of believability, but all-in-all I think the story worked.

I look forward to the further development of the characters, and the sex, in future chapters - should you be inclined to carry the story on. On that note, I personally prefer stories that don't "jump the shark". That is to say, don't break out of the believability envelope. Too many incest stories go too far when the author spreads the "love" to all and sundry in the family. I find myself shaking my head in disbelief when mum, dad, uncle Tom, aunt Mavis and grandma all start to get in on the act.

Good luck with your writing.

This story is now one of favorites! Amazing work. Love how you develop their relationship and describe their growing love. The sex is incredible too! Made me soooo wet! Can't wait for a part 2 soon! Great work!

Very good story, nicely developed. I am waiting to read more of your work!

Very nice story. It is nice that your story has romance with the sexual content. I liked the characters. I look forward to reading more from you!

I think your story is one of the best I've read in this genre on Literotica. The dirty talk was perfect. I see this is recently submitted, but I am hoping that you are planning to continue providing us readers with your excellent writing. The only thing I would suggest, that I feel would have made the story even better is more description of what the siblings look like. I find it is easier to imagine the characters when that is the case. Thank you.

The perfect situation! I wish I had something like that in my memories.

I'd like to know a little more about them. Age, family, environment...

I hope this lovely story don't finish here.

It would be excellent if their mother found out what was happening and, after a dramatic reaction, finally accepted the situation.

Makes me want to have an older brother. God, this is so hot and sweet.

One of the best I've read on here! The dirty talk has me wetting my panties! Hope to read more in the future!

This was the best story I have read on here. Probably the best erotica I've ever read! I loved everything about it from the sex to the romance. This makes me really really really wish I had a hot brother. I love the characters and how loving and perfect their relationship is. I really really hope there is more of them to read! Don't stop writing because you are amazing...so amazing that I am going to overlook the typos and errors...maybe just proof read...not even that can taint my opinion of this amazing story.

Makes me want to have a brother

It sucks being a only child, with no sister to make love to.

Nice story. Funny how it worked out, with sis getting birth control just a week earlier. LIke the shower sex part too.

Needs to have mom join into the mix.After all why should she be left out?2

As you read this story, you will endure an incredible array of errors; poor word usage; nebulous, convoluted expressions, and generally awful writing!!!! It lacks maturity. depth.art, style and intrinsic value. A tortuous read, even with your gland in your hand. I have no objection to the subject matter, I find the presentation to be 'less than!!!!' This is an utter waste of time for all parties concerned!!!! This is a perfect example of how not to write a story.

gently kneed (knead)

shutter her release (shudder)

more sexier (sexier)

nearly growing in her ear (growling)

tits giggled (jiggled)

as (I) fucked her

g-spot (G-spot)

rolled (-in the) back (-of) (in) her head

blanketing (covering)

SLOWLY as I SLOWED (DID YOU SLOWLY SLOW DOWN SLOWLY????)

it was has if (as)

boy-ish (boyish)

me a freshmen (I) (freshman)

Spring Break (spring break)

A drops (drop)

taste-buds (tastebuds)

lighting speed (lightning)

me to lay on the couch (lie)

felt like electric (electricity)

shattered (shuddered)

onto (his) tongue

(-more) before (me)

bother (brother)

breasts to message (massage)

dying (dyeing)

fine my release (find)

shutter (shudder)

down stairs (downstairs)

tong (thong)

pony tail (ponytail)

made me dick hardened (my) (harden)

tits juggling (jiggling)

throws of passion (throes)

tell tail creek (telltale creak)

though my pounding (through)

moved her (-rolled) her hips

quick, quick, then slow, slow (quickly, quickly) (slowly, slowly)

pleased me in a whole other way (NEBULOUS WASTED WORDS!!!!)

combined tasted (taste)

through wipe (thorough)

hair dry (dye)

gently pressure (gentle)

going something (doing)

tech me (teach)

my pussy (was) wet

seemed like ever (forever)

shattering (shuddering)

must as I was (much)

stock waves (shock)

shuttered (shuddered)

threw it on the ground (floor)

one las time (last)

shooting ribbon (ribbons)

assured (-to) that

throws of passion (throes)

over (her) brother's cock

Chris' best-friend (Chris's best friend)

wanted to day (say)

lightening (lighting)

messaging the head (massaging)

underwear were damp (was)

headed gaze (heated)

only (-for him) to slid back (slide)

seemed like ever (forever)

g-spot (G-spot)

build-up (buildup)

MY TITS pressed into the wood and the smooth surface felt good on MY ACHING TITS

want you cock (your)

When he didn't (-started) (start), I (-looked) lifted my head and looked towards him

want you need (what)

I was blanketed on him (NONSENSICAL STATEMENT!!!!)

EASED in EASILY (WAS IT EASILY EASY TO EASILY EASE IT IN EASILY????)

ALREADY loved her ALREADY (HE WAS ALREADY ALL READY TO ALREADY LOVE HER ALREADY!!!!)

taunt stomach (taut)

sure (-if the) hell determined (as)

no one could make her come and shudder and scream (better) than her own blood

trusted into her (thrust)

caress her clit (-and) light, slow circles (in)

clenching (-and) (her) muscles, messaging me (massaging)

frantic, nearly violet (violent) (PURPLE????)

the noise would make it way to Mom downstairs (Mom would hear the noise downstairs)

lamp-light (lamplight)

.

I REALLY liked it. Nice story.

Lacks buildup. Lacks foreplay.

Hot I really liked it. I wish I could have fun with my sister again.

yess I'm so wet

This story is full of desire, intimacy, love and damn good sex.

OMG this was amazing! So sad to see you haven't published on here in years. This would be an amazing series!

You struck such a perfect balance here that is lacking in 90% of stories on here. They're usually either heavy with romance and no spice or vice versa but this was the absolute perfect balance of romance and HOT AF sex.

Would love to see more from you! Especially follow ups to this.