Ivy Pt 02 (aka Jasmine)

I cracked a few eggs in the skillet while shifting the phone to my other ear. "I'd love to actually. It's not that easy trying to be someone that I'm not, though. While it should be relaxing for me also, it's only bringing up old memories of what we once had. I'm just worried we might not get that back."

"Give it time; we know there hasn't been much of a memory restoration with her, but sometimes when the memory comes back from amnesia patients, it comes back big time."

"I know, you're right, Rose. Thanks for listening to me vent and bitch."

Rose laughed. "It's not bitching. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders now, everybody knows it."

I grabbed a few glasses from the cabinet above the sink. "Well, you might be right, but I don't have it as rough as she does. Still, you have no idea how difficult this is. One minute Jazz is married to me, and the next thing you know our entire marriage is obliterated from her memory. And I can't even tell her I'm her husband, or that Ivy and Ivan are her children. I mean r..."

I trailed off as I caught Jazz out of the corner of my eye, standing in the kitchen doorway. To say the look on her face was pure shock is an understatement. I realized she had heard everything. Her body was stiff, her jaw was wide open, and I saw her eyes darting around the room as if she was trying to comprehend all of the new information I just slipped out.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes as if I had just fucked another woman in front of her. I'll never forget the look on her face, a look that asked me why I had betrayed her.

She ran out of the room.

I dropped the phone and the two glasses to give chase after her. "Jazz, wait!" I knew it was all so overwhelming for her but she had to give me a chance to explain.

She almost ran outside the house until she realized that she was barefoot and in a baby doll, not to mention the ground was muddy from the rains the night before. She stopped by the door and turned around. All I could notice were the tears that saturated her beautiful face.

I tried to talk but she interrupted. "No! Don't you dare! Don't you say a word! This whole time, we were married? And you decided to keep it a secret from me? I mean, why wouldn't you just TELL me? Did you want a clean break from me or something?" She held her head as if it were hurting.

"Jazz, no! I'd never,"

"I said SHUT UP!" she snapped. "And my children, you'd really not tell them that they were mine? Were you planning on telling me at any time?"

I just stood there, patiently waiting for her to get it all out.

"Dammit Tim, answer me!" she shouted.

"I..no! I... we, wanted you to figure it out on your own. It..." I was stumbling.

"Figure it out on my own?? Oh sure, my precious babies already forgot about me since everyone thought I was dead, but, hey, what's a few more months, or a few more years. Yet you weren't going to tell me? What if my memory recovered after Ivy and Ivan graduate high school? Oh, that would be fine of course, right? My babies would be almost 20 years old but you wanted my memory to return on its own. Forget that I watched them growing up thinking they belonged to some slut that fucked you and dumped them off on you, or worse yet, thinking that their mother was someone you truly loved and ended up dying. I mean, how could you?" She was on a roll, but started sobbing even harder. "How could you keep my babies from me like that? How could you not tell me that we were married? Did our marriage not mean that much to you? Was my accident just a convenient way out? I mean, were we miserable when we were married? I never would have guessed that in a million years."

I was sobbing, too. Not for me, but the feelings and emotions that Jasmine was finally releasing. So many times I wondered why I didn't tell her from the beginning about us.

"Timothy, I loved you! I mean, I loved you so much. As long as I can remember I wanted you in my life, as more than a father. You're the only one who was ever there for me. The hospital, I don't blame you for never being there because you thought I was dead. But."

She lowered her head and went upstairs to her room. "I'm packing and calling a cab. I, I don't know if I can stay with you anymore. We'll talk when I get home."

"Jasmine, wait, let me drive you. I can explain everything on the way back home. There is just so much to talk about and I don't even know where to begin, but you have to know how much I love you." She ignored me completely and slammed the door behind her while I was still in mid sentence.

*****

I was a mess. I wasn't expecting her to take it that way at all. I called every single one of her doctors and therapists and ripped them a new one, telling them that my wife had just found out the truth and was absolutely livid with me. Rose was the one who finally got me to calm down; she called me back after Jasmine found out what had happened. Rose didn't hear the conversation but could hear Jasmine yelling at me, so she knew something was wrong.

Rose asked me on the cell phone, "I'm so, so sorry, where are you now?"

"I'm on the highway heading back home. She has about a fifteen minute head start on me. Of course I could easily catch up with the cab but that's the last thing she would want right now."

"Well, just try to give her some space. Be there for her but try to be receptive. I'm not trying to sound like a shrink, but this was exactly the reason why we wanted her memory to come back on its own first. Instead, her finding out was like a shock to the system. It sounds like she's processing everything all at once right now. I mean, this entire time, she's taken everything so well considering she'd been raised from the dead. I know it sounds immature, but I think any of us would have acted that way if we were in her shoes."

"Thanks Rose. You might be right. I hope you're right. Still, you have no idea how enraged she was. I've never seen that side of her. And the way she looked at me when she found out, it was like I had betrayed her."

"Just keep after her, at a distance. I'll see if I can call her. I know, her little sister is being nosey and intrusive, but if I can find a way to be a shoulder for her right now I'll do it in a heartbeat."

I tried to smile. "Well, I know where you get your kind heart from. I know Jasmine would do the same thing for you. Again, thank you Rose. You're wise beyond your years, honey."

"You're welcome."

I hung up the phone.

*****

I sat outside in the Mustang for at least an hour. Partly because I wanted to give her time to cool down, but also because I needed that long just to figure out what to say. I left most of the luggage in the car, but I took one bag with me as I got out and walked towards the house.

I knocked quietly and slowly opened the door. Jazz was just sitting on the couch with her head between her hands. It looked like she wasn't crying, but still was a mess. She was beautiful, but her hair was messed up and her makeup was smeared.

Quietly moving forward, I didn't want to spook her. I felt like I was a hunter that was approaching a doe with soft footsteps. I sat down on the couch next to her and set the bag on the floor.

At first she didn't move and didn't say a word. Just as I was going to speak, I saw her shoulders moving up and down as if she was weeping silently. She didn't even look at me, but she turned to me and practically leapt in my lap. She buried her head against my chest and squeezed me so hard I thought she was going to break my ribs. I nuzzled my cheek against the top of her head and held her tightly against me. I tried to relax her as much as I could, trying to get her to calm down.

"Jazz, I am so sorry for the deception, you have to believe me. It wasn't even my idea and I didn't want to do it. I love you and would never ever hurt you." She didn't say anything, so I kept talking. Hopefully, she was listening to what I was trying to say.

"I wish there was something I could say to take all the pain away. The entire way from the cabin to here, I've been practicing in my head what I would say to you to explain everything, but, I'm still not sure what to say. I don't have any excuses, but everything I did was what I thought would be best for not just you, but also Ivy and Ivan. And even myself."

She stirred a little. "Were we happy?"

I smiled, stroking her hair. "Yes. We were tremendously happy. I couldn't have asked for the more perfect life. Before the accident, those were the happiest times of my life. You saved me from a life of misery, Jasmine. And on top of that, you gave me two wonderful children that made life even that much better."

It was hard to tell from the angle I was at, but it looked like she was smiling. She sniffed and wiped away some of her tears.

"You can ask me anything, Jasmine. I will be honest. No more hiding things."

"I still don't understand why you didn't tell me right off the bat," she softly said.

"The doctors were hoping your memory would return normally; if it did, then you'd be able to remember on your own that we were married and had a family. The more you were exposed to your old married life, the more likely it would have been that your memory would return. That's one reason why everyone told you that you should move in with me."

"Is that the only reason?" She asked innocently.

I smiled. "No, of course it's not the only reason. I had my own selfish motives."

I said more sternly, "It didn't help that you'd wear all those skimpy little outfits and tight little panties, since I couldn't do a thing about it!" I slapped her butt.

She giggled.

I sighed a breath of relief. "Do you know how long it's been since I've done that?" I started rubbing her cute little ass. "And not have to worry about feeling guilty since you didn't exactly view me as husband material?" I nuzzled her even more and kissed her cheek. "You can expect more spankings just like that, now that the secret is out of the bag."

She smiled and even moaned a little. "Promise?"

"Of course I promise. Oh, and speaking of bag, I got you something. It was supposed to be a gift for up in the cabin, but now is as good as any time." I leaned down and grabbed the bag off of the floor. Reaching inside, I pulled out a present I had wrapped.

She smiled. "Aww, thank you! What is it?"

"I guess you'll have to open it to find out."

She tore up the paper and opened the box. Inside she pulled out a stuffed animal, a mustang horse. She looked at me strangely and laughed.

"Well, I figured since you thought you were ready for the mustang, I'd get you your very own! Plus, this one doesn't have to stay in the garage."

She laughed and hit me on the chest. "You're a brat. But a sweet brat. Thank you. Don't think this will suffice for my need for speed, though."

I laughed. "You're never driving by yourself again, you know that, right?" She glared at me.

She wiped away the last few tears on her face. "You know..." her face started to turn red.

"What, honey?"

"You know, you were always a great loving father figure, but it's been a long time since I've viewed you as a dad, probably not since my early teenage years, to be honest."

I was a bit shocked... not completely, but I didn't think it went back that far.

She continued, "I guess I wasn't sure what to think, but my little crush on you turned into something more full blown." She smiled. "Ok, I'm not trying to get too sappy, but, I guess since we are opening up with each other. I just wanted you to know."

She raised her head up and kissed me. The kind of kiss that was passionate and full of love. I instantly became hard -- I had been waiting to kiss her like this for I can't remember how long. It had been years.

"You know what scared me the most?" I asked her.

"What, baby?"

"When you said, right before you left the, that you were thinking of moving out, I couldn't take a single day without you. Not again. Besides, Ivy and Ivan need you. They need us."

She kissed me on the lips again. "I'm sorry I kind of lost it back there. I know I'm still working things out, and the last thing I wanted to do was take it out on you." She sat on my lap, straddling me. Holding my face with both hands, she looked deep into my eyes.

"Thank you, Tim. Thank you SO much for never leaving me and never giving up on me. I'm yours until death do us part, and hopefully even after that."

Finally, for the first time since I had her back, it felt right holding her. I didn't have to hold anything back. "I'll never leave you, baby. Hey, we still have a honeymoon to finish up at the cabin. Do you want to go back up there?"

She smiled deviously. Sliding down my body and undoing my zipper, she said, "I do, but we have to take care of something first. Something we are both way overdue on..."

*****

Epilogue

It took almost a full year before I'd let her sit behind the wheel and drive. It would have been longer but she finally had enough with me and laid down the law. After a short but intense argument, I caved in. Even then, I didn't let her drive the Mustang without myself riding shotgun for another full year. I tried to come across as not wanting her to drive my car without my supervision, but the fact is I was terrified to let her drive by herself. I think she knew this and decided to humor me. That was how much she loved me, I guess.

After everything we had been through, all of our arguments seemed to be a bit on the trivial side considering Jasmine had been raised from the dead as if Jesus himself came down and brought her back to life the way he did with Lazarus. Nothing could keep us apart. I would never admit this to her, but Jasmine had me wrapped around her finger.

Four years after Ivy and Ivan were born, we had an amazing miracle. The doctor had told us that Jazz would never be pregnant again, but before we know it a little baby girl had entered our lives. We named her Shelby. It was Jasmine's idea, actually, not mine. Although I wish I had thought of it first.

The funny thing is, her memory never did return. It was probably a good thing that she overheard me and Rose talking on the phone when she did. Who knows how much longer we would have waited until we told her the truth. Sometimes I still have a hard time thinking about that.

Several years of her life were wiped away clean. The birth of Ivy and Ivan, our first kiss, our first marriage... everything was gone. I say first marriage because we did renew our vows shortly after she found out that we were actually husband and wife. We treated the ceremony as if it really was our first time getting married together, which for her it was.

I once told her privately that I considered myself extremely lucky because I was the only guy in the world that had two first kisses with her, two first marriages with her, and even two first times to consummate our relationship with each other.

I've been through a lot and had more downs than ups. There were times I didn't think I'd make it through. There were times I didn't think I'd ever be married again.

But Jasmine changed everything. She was my life and my future, and as long as she's with me I'll never look back.