All Comments on 'Jasmine'

Well done, sir, and kudos to you! You really made it sensual and fun for both man and wife to share this other woman. You also captured the essence of the issue. Trust. If you can't trust the other person not to hurt you, then that's not who you include. Apparently, Jasmine was trustworthy and that enabled both of your characters to relax and just enjoy her.

Can I give it a '6'?

Delete the comments from haters who come here to read the hot stories, whack off to them, then hate themselves for doing it, so they have to dump on somebody to feel better.

That said, I loved the premise of the story, but there is a big problem with it. It is exactly the same problem I struggle with in my writing, so I know it well.

You write in the past tense.

'Was' should usually be 'is', sometimes 'am'.

'Were' should usually be 'are'.

'Had' should usually be 'has'.

'Went' should usually be 'goes'.

'Thought' should usually be 'thinks'.

'Saw' should usually be 'see' or 'sees'.

'Did' should usually be 'does' or 'do'.

'Spoke' should be 'speak' or speaks'.

'Told' should usually be 'tell' or 'tells'.

Everything ending in 'ed' is suspect. 'Loved' should be 'love', etc.

Bring it all into the present, gives it urgency, impact. Great story, if it had been told in the NOW and proofread.

Your husband trust you to made good choices. Trust him to do the same when it come to other women.

Yes this is my Ultimate Fantasy it couldn't have been written better right on hot hot hot !!!

Just some misspellings is all!!

The Mentor

aka derRaskell

You brought to fore a dream come true for many men. Having a beautiful wife encourage her husband to fuck another woman and who actively takes part in the seduction and the fun. Better yet they find a close friend who is willing to experience her bisexual side. Loved the dynamics between all three and how he eventually ended up fucking his wife as he was eating out their friend. AN exquisite experience that I have experienced countless times when I was involved with wilder wives and girlfriends. Nothing like savoring the creampie from one woman as you fuck another. Then after you come a second time you reverse the situation and enjoy your second pie of the evening.

Two whores and an asshole in another lame story.

She was shaved totally and had a flatter, pinker mound., NO, absolutely not, unless of course this was an 18 year old young lady wanting to display an erect clit to her aunt that she called her aunts sister's (her own mother's name) shaved does not ever work. Hairy pussy or a 2 or 3 rating from peers. You got a 3 today, only because you seemingly were a new and hopefully aspiring author who at present simply did not know any better than to write a silly chaffed razor burnt pussy story? But, one can hope you improve with time! loose the razor stuff!!