All Comments on 'Jen and Mike Ch. 24 Pt. 02'

Congratulations for succeeding where Xleg failed miserably and that was getting rid of Mikes deficiencies and dysfunctions.

but even a valiant effort like this proves we still can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Wow thanks for the story, as a big fan of the original series I thought the early chapter did not gel with the Mike and Jen from Xleg's stories, but I stuck with it initially because I love a bit of girl on girl action but the story kept getting hotter and hotter and the characterisation better and better. I'll be checking out the new story when you post

I'll admit when I'm wrong maedhros21 and you were right the whole time. You created a story that most people I doubt could ever pull of. You said you would rid the story of the Scott character and you did. You said that things would work out in the end for Mike, Jenny and Jesse and it came true despite my many doubts about the story and how it would conclude you stuck by your convictions and in the end it payed off and you showed people by sticking to what you believe no matter how many people say otherwise or attempt to dissuade your belief you maedhros21 are a heck of a writer and for me personally I say I'm sorry.

... and now it's time to face their creator - and to be justified for their pervert doings. And there will be no doubt: death and then burning in hell will be the verdict.

Same for the author!

great story. how about a few chapters of mikes new life with jasmine and tara there is a lot of possibilities there.

i thought it was super hot until half-way down page 6. not into the cuckold breaking "free" and beating up the bull, i'm sorry but the fantasy is for the cuckold to be humiliated. thats what i am jerking off for, not some "happy ending" where the cuck reclaims his manhood and beats up the bull. that defeats the whole purpose of a cuckold fantasy, where it's safe to imagine and jerk off to the most degrading cuckold humilations because its only a fantasy. sigh, oh well. -- it was still really hot for a while

Boo hoo hoo, wah wah. If you really thought about it, these bulls you're so enamored with, are in reality, two legged versions of their wild namesakes, slow dimwitted lumbering prey animals. Everybody knows that the greatest, most powerful and deadly predators on the Earth are big cats. The common trait they share with a small to average sized man is they too have small dicks and balls for their size, yet they consistently hunt and kill so many of your precious big dicked "bulls". Don't make the mistake of judging a man's personality and strength of character or abilities based on dick size alone. You just may find out to your regret that you have a real predator by the tail and he will turn on you and destroy you.

Fabulous series. You did wonders with these 2 characters. I loved the cuckolding scenes in the story and you took it way further than Xleg ever could (barring the chapters about Rick). And I think Xleg is a great writer himself. Are the two of you the same? Jesse and Jen's torment of Mike was the most erotic cuck scenes ever.

Glad to know you have another story in mind. Could you tell us which genre will it be posted under?

Completely loved the series. So glad scott got exactly what he desrved. really wished we could have seen some of them hot scenes involving the women they met in vegas and the andrews family and jasmin & tara orgy.

Maedhros,

I have been following your story and occasionally left a comment. I congratulate you on delivering an ending to your series, which is an achievement by it's own merit.

Even though I wasn't fond of the direction your story was taking, as stated in earlier comments, I did want to follow it through to the end. You promised a happy ending and I was curious to see how you would pull it off.

Overall, I think you managed. There are some weaknesses in the last chapter though. It doesn't seem as polished and well written as the previous parts. I'm not talking about the bad grammar and spelling, which are prominent especially in part 2.

Point 1: Cliché. In previous chapters, Jesse or Jenny would sometimes make very cliché sounding remarks in order to 'soothe' Mike (intentionally the reader), but it was tolerable and sometimes even well placed. In the last chapter you overdid it in my opinion. Some cheesy remarks from Jesse seem out of place, some are even harder to accept than Mike's humiliation. Also, you didn't have to explain to your reader in depth and repeatedly that "all of it is just a game", "Jesse has a plan", ect. People who have followed your story should have a good idea where you're going. You should let readers come to their own conclusions - not feed them any. The sappiness doesn't seem to fit in a cuckold / humiliation story. Jesse's constant soothing of Mike also makes the story feel very plastic, as in artificial.

Point 2: Logic. Jesse tells Scott he is in trouble, because the video is proof enough to bring him into Jail. That might be so, but what you forgot is that it is also proof enough to bring Jenny and Jesse into Jail. Incest is not only taboo, it is actually illegal. So what would hinder Scott from using the tape to blackmail them, if they threaten him?

Point 3: Repetition. The sex playing out before the showdown strongly feels like a repeat performance of the previous weekend. No matter if that is intentional or not, it also is a bit boring to read.

Point 4: The sex is lukewarm. There's just too much drama and inner dialogue interwoven with the action. It affects the mood of the sex scenes. This could have been avoided, since a lot of the inner dialogue seems redundant (repeatedly explaining this is a game and what Jesse plans, ect.)

Point 5: Loose ends. You introduced characters just for the sake of dishing out a fantasy and then abandoned them. No one will ever know what happened to Cheryl and her mom. I was disappointed that you didn't give them a reappearance, or at least a decent ending in your saga.

Well these are my thoughts. All that said, I still admire your (usually) flawless writing and your enthusiasm to stick to your story and finish it. I'm curious what you'll write about next.

Regards,

Koriander

cuckold is like drugs fun while it last after just empty and sad,never do cuckold play unless your really old,bored and cant get it up without help or you want to end the relationship with some fun

For the most part I enjoyed the story but too much time explaining all the drama and not enough time on the story. Maybe you could do a follow up at some other time. Instead of over explaining the story just write it and let it flow. There is about two pages of story and six pages of bullshit that it didn't need. Vegas is a fun place and it would have been hot for Jen and Jesse to have met with the sales lady and seduced her. I am also disappointed that Jesse and Jasmine didn't get some fun time together and maybe included Tara. Maybe you should revisit this story sometime for an update and have a mix and match orgy. I was looking forward to Jesse, Jaz,Tara and Jenny getting together. Sneak Jenny a sedative then Tara and Jaz seduce Jesse. Or tie Jenny in a chair and let her watch as Jaz and Tara Domme Jessie. Jen can be the cuck,,,,,lol

Finally, wimp ass running out of shitty ideas to scribble

An interesting "alternate universe" for Mike and Jen. I hope that you will continue writing. I've noticed some of the negative comments regarding slowness, etc. In my opinion, that occurs because, perhaps, you are writing to make each episode clear even to those who read only one chapter. In other words, you re-explain the motivations of your characters to some degree each time. For those who read the entire series, it becomes repetitious. My suggestion is to write for those who read all the way thru, not as if each chapter stands alone and independent.

Again, I encourage you to write more. Like you, I'm also a huge fan of xleglover and the entire scope of the Mike and Jen chronicles, which you've made a worthy addition to.

How did mike react knowing his Ex-wife set him up and set all these events in motion including all the pain he suffered over the years? No one, except jenny, even tried to make it up to him?

I only read the last chapter of your crap and i know that you are one of the lowest idiots on eart!! How insane has a people to be to think and write such crap??? Read it and you know!!! But, mental help is always available!! TRY IT!!!

Hi just read your story and I liked it I was thinking you should write more but 20 more years in the future with Jesse and jenny having a girl and mike and jasmine having a boy I am sure you could add Scott some how just an idea

How inssane has one to be to write such a crap!! But be aware help is always available!! Try therapy or go to a nut house they will help you!!

Mike lost the love of his life and to his daughter no less. This is not a win for him. This is a big big loss and not a happy ending. It is nothing but a consolation.

As far as his "little pumpkin" is concerned... what a conniving cunt. Love fir her daddy? Ha! She took the love of his life away from him. Pissed. He should be pissed.

The only person who got what they deserved was Scott.

Sad story with a horrific ending. Not at all what the author promised.

I enjoyed the story. But then again I am a perverted old guy.

It kept me hard for hours. The whole family taboo, thing is a big turn on.

And the cuck in me enjoyed it as well. Mike should of been pegged by his daughter and taken his wifes lovers cum. Alway wondered what that might feel like.

Hey man enjoyed the story a ton but is there any chance we could get an alternative ending? One where Scott manages to seduce Jesse? Like without any drugs

At the end of the last chapter I thought Jesse was going to betray her father Mike cause she had turned pure evil,but she kept pushing and pushing Mike to the breaking point,and then Jesse knew Mike would do anything to protect his daughter after Scott threw her off him,Mike stepped up and beat the shit out of Scott I knew Jesse had redeemed herself by helping her father become the strong man Jesse knew her father to be.

Granted both Jesse and Jenny still remained sluts and married to each other as Mother and Daughter they were decent sluts,and I am glad Mike,Jenny,and Jesse were still close.But I was surprised that Jesse told her Dad that she was pregnant with his baby,so I guess for all those involved with Mike,Jenny,Jesse,Jasmine,Tara,Cheryl,Stacy,and Allie occasionally got together for a lot of horny bisexual women's orgy with Mike being the only male.

I just hope Jenny and Jesse learned its alright to have sexual fun,but when you start hurting the ones you claim to love then you can lose your humanity which Jenny and Jesse learned.Finally I hope Jesse ended up sleeping with her father on a regular basis and had 2 or 3 more babies by him so they could all share the love for their large incestuous family.

You ruined the decent piece of work by xleglover. His novella while questionable always turned me on and satisfied me, yours on the other hand is a sheer piece of garbage not worth a penny. This reminds me of those cheap roadside fictions made for working class folks in 18th century Britain.

No base, no grace, no character backgrounds and developments. Plain disgusting, cheap fiction.

This a sad sack story.

Even in your sick brain it should be clear that an incest marriage is not possible even in Las Vegas! In addition, Mr. Trump would make sure that people like these two whores would not enjoy their lives! Yes, and then there is the issue of HIV. In the meantime, all of the whores in your story have become infected with HIV and will slowly and painfully perish from it. In my imagination, the author of this story does too!

Maedhros, you are one sick in the mind creep.

This story is absolute garbage. I hope you gave up writing, u have no flair for it

1/5

Honestly, I both hate and love this ending. Love that mike finally moved on from the game and found his happiness. Hate because you didnt have more after Vegas stuff.

Yeah ... "My Daddy is a great Men" so great i get of humilitating him to nearly to the End and ending with my Mother , his Wife.

i didn´t read the whole package but to be true , the little bits i had flow over makes me wonder.

First i doubt i would do one Day of this Shit without send them all to Hell , second even if by some cosmic karma

i would accept and suffer , somewhere in the middle i would go sucide .

Alternative ending would be cool, if you could write something that had the option of jesse actually getting seduced

I can't believe this ending. You read the original stories and thought it would be best to not have Jen and Mike end up together? Wow. Very sad ending for those who enjoyed the original series.

Well, I just want to thank you for your contribution to Literotica. I know that this is fiction but I am sure these things happen somewhere. I really enjoyed the stories of Jen and Mike and I pretty much enjoyed all the ins and outs of the writing. I tend to put myself very much into the stories I read and I was in tears with Jesse near the ending in Vegas with everything she put her Dad through and at the same time herself. But....that's what selfless people do. I am truly sorry but I can't find any negatives to give you on your store writing and I just loved it. Thanks in CA